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As an introvert SE, I have my style of doing things and getting things done. Same here. But an introvert isn't a protected class, nor is it a disability, so anywhere you work isn't going to start running to make special considerations for you based on the fact you "just prefer to work in the zone". There's two angles I'd take here. Firstly, if any kind of ...


136

Like it or not, social or "soft" skills are more critical than you think. While I absolutely do not subscribe to the idea that a person's thought and behavior can be boiled down to a few letters, being an INTJ or an introvert does not preclude you from being a good workmate. Promotions always come with an increase in responsibility and almost universally ...


68

One thing that I like to tell people is that "A diagnosis is not a destiny" For some background, I am autistic, LD, hearing impaired, and have had a lifetime of ill health, so this is not a "toughen up, buttercup" speech from someone who hasn't lived through it himself. In fact, as a quintessential outlier myself, I heartily understand what you are going ...


22

"We want people to chat, that's our new thing now. This is how are collaborative etc." [...] I expected him to bring this up with the relevant people so these conversations would stop Why did you expected him to make people stop if he clearly stated that this is part of new company policy? You expected him to read your mind that you are not happy with it ...


20

Regarding needing quiet time: Whenever you have a problem, stating "solving my problem requires me to do nothing and everyone around me to change" never works. Never ever, not even a little. So you are already off base here. You don't have to blast music into your head to reduce noise; conversely, you can get headphones with noise-cancelling features, or ...


12

You have to change job Sorry, I know you said "no job changes advise" but there is no another option for you. This is the culture of where you are, it won't change, its much more probably that you end up fired at first lay offs and that will happen, soon or later. Such companies like that are very often inefficient and won't thrive because people just talk ...


8

Your office is doing things wrong. I thought before that there is no "escape" to these wrongdoings of the usual way people work, but now I learned that specially for software development, there are some mandatory conditions that should be met to work properly. I will explain my two experiences and why I learned that. BEFORE: I worked for the IT department ...


4

This answer assumes your manager is acting in good faith but there is possibly a communication issue; essentially you need to: Clarify exactly what he wants and action it appropriately, while Mitigating the personal difficulties you face. 1. Manager's Requirements Soft Skills - these are important and if your manager believes they need improving, then ...


3

Just be honest with yourself and company and this shall come to good. In fact, you shall discuss with your company the reasons behind your decision to move to another city and they would try some middle way if possible. After taking training or buyout of the contract, it will be a difficult situation for both parties to break up.


3

Studies going back to Jung and the formation of the concepts of Introversion and Extraversion describe the amount and type of energy we expend in pursuit of social goals. Introverts typically are required to expend energy when surrounded by large groups or a great deal of stimuli. As an introvert (INTJ no less) myself I use to believe this made me ...


3

I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but software engineering is one of the most introverted professions. The vast majority of your colleagues you are complaining about are also introverts. So why does their behavior seem so non-introverted? Because they are adapting to their environment instead of futilely hoping for the environment to adapt to them. ...


2

You're getting a new manager. That's great, its an opportunity for you to establish some lines of communication. Its possible they simply don't understand the value you could be delivering, having a software engineer working on non-se tasks is, generally a waste of money. So arrange a meeting with your new manager, and present your business reasons for doing ...


2

Should I leave if after few months I see a complete lack of direction in the company? Unless you're in a position of authority with all the information, normally you leave if you find a better job or there is a problem with your pay. Not because of vague ideas that things are messy. Basically, people have been working sloppily just to get projects ...


2

Brush up your CV and take a look what's out there. Leaving after a year and stating the reasons above could potentially bring up the question: "Why did you stay there for so long if you didn't see any direction in the company?" Companies usually have 3 month probation periods both for the company itself but also the employee to ensure they are a good ...


2

The first thing you want to do is polish up your resume and start applying for Jobs. Finding the perfect job can take a long time, and the longer you aren't looking for your dream job, the more potential dream jobs you are missing. So dust off your resume, polish it up and actually apply for Jobs. You will find that there are a huge range of jobs available ...


2

This could be me posting something similar when I had my first consulting job, though you have the benefit they are not lying to you, as they were to me. As for people hanging out talking all day around your desk (why?), in my previous job, I would tell them to go otherwise when I had critical things to attend (for instance, a big failure). Here I usually ...


1

This answer is assuming you will definitely be moving to City 2 regardless of what happens with your employer, the client, etc. If it would be a practical and appropriate option for you to work for the client at their 'City 2' location (e.g. their office in City 2 would be a suitable place to carry out whatever your job function is)... Given the ...


1

You could become a product owner in a company that delivers software products and head a team of developers with personal focus on organizational work (project management), not development (coding) itself.


1

Talk to HR. Without knowing the specifics of what they're doing or saying, that is the best advice we can actually give. If you are a doing the work as assigned, on-time, and without a drop in quality, then there's likely no reason for them to be treating you this way, and HR could get involved in mediation or corrective behavior for the PM and scrum ...


1

Preparing to get your dream job for a long time may not be the worst idea, but you shouldn't do that at the expense of not having a job and income. You have a family you have to support, and that should be your main concern. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where I had to switch my field of expertise. I had surprisingly good feedback when I ...


1

You seem to put too much emphasis on unverified personality/behavioural tests. You mention Myers-Briggs. From Wikipedia Myers-Briggs - Criticism: Many of the studies that endorse MBTI are methodologically weak or unscientific. That's a nice way of saying Myers-Briggs is rubbish. You also say: Some tests even suggest slight Asperger, combined with ...


1

Is home office an option? I'm a dev just like you and I spend only a single day every week at the office. It works great for me in terms of productivity yet I'm still regularly available for meetings, discussion and general chat. In my particular case this arrangement had been thrown off the table as unfeasible the first time I had asked for it. It was ...


1

I understand and agree with your concerns, the extrovert agenda can be really frustrating, but you also have to understand the other side as well. Culture is important in the workplace and having coworkers openly communicate and be friendly with one another is considered a positive almost universally. Some people even make a career out of being friendly to ...


1

At the next performance review, forget that you are an introvert for a moment and complain to your boss as loud as you can. Tell him how by not accepting and accommodating you as an introvert, the workplace is exclusionary and prevents diversity. Tell him that you want your unique contributions to be respected and reflected in your ratings and in your next ...


1

I hesitate to suggest this, but could you try malicious compliance? It seems like you've pretty much been told that collaborating (i.e. chatting) with colleagues whenever they want, socialising more, and getting people to talk about you is more important than the work you're doing.  So why not actually apply that, concentrating on all those things even at ...


1

Ironically I am the most active communicator This is in contrast with you claiming to be an introvert. Collaborating with other people is essential to success of the project, so if somebody has bad social skills it is a good reason for not promoting them. Be very honest with yourself and think again about your social skills - are they really not lacking? ...


1

Use the AWS Free Tier to set up a network of your own. You can get something quite complicated set up before you have to start paying large amounts of money out. From a clients viewpoint, though... I wouldn't want to work with an 'architect' who hadn't even designed a small shed in the real world. There are many positions out there at a lower level where ...


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