34

I cannot read your colleagues and bosses' minds, so this is speculation. But it's not a random guess, it's based on what I have seen in other workplaces. You said you are a student, so not a professional developer yet. You work one day a week. Away from the team. In a language you didn't know before. This is a fools errand. You have neither the experience, ...


19

You have two problems if you do nothing: You don't complete the work you are supposed to complete, and you don't have any other work to do. Your manager would really, really want you to fix at least one of these problems. So go to your manager. Tell them that you can't continue with your work because you are waiting for things from your colleague. Ask him ...


18

If this is an actual voice call, just say: Sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Let's set up a zoom to discuss, my calendar is up to date. or Sorry, I'm busy right now. Can I call you back in an hour or so? Repeat until they get the message that you are not instantly available. If that doesn't work, stop answering the phone and just message back "...


13

Does your communication software have an option to set a "busy/unavailable" status? That might be useful to signal that you're at work but can't or don't want to handle interruptions right now. It's almost the same as being in another call, just that an interruption in this case would not disturb your conversation with your call partner(s) but your ...


12

Why not just have a discussion with your manager? This person is a person, and they're likely unaware that they're even doing these things in a manner that is causing stress. Being new, this person is likely going to be open to feedback so long as it's constructive and presented in a friendly manner. It doesn't need to be a complaint session, it can be a ...


11

You can simply ask directly. Don't get your hopes up though: You have made a bunch of serious mistakes and you have established a track record of "not knowing what you want" and "changing your mind on a dime". This has probably done significant damage to your reputation and the only way to fix this is to STOP doing that. Sending the exec ...


9

Welcome to the beautiful (cough cough) world of office politics. You started with five other people. You are all, right now, the new group, and you have a shared identity of being the group of people that are doing that one trial project. If you want to be known, you need to make sure that people start seeing you as an individual. What your team mates are ...


8

Call her out (politely). In a 1:1 situation, bring it up. "Hey Alice, I wanted to talk with you about that situation in the meeting yesterday. You asked me a question about Foo, and as I wanted to answer, you interrupted and answered the question yourself. I'm not sure how to take this. Could you tell me what your intention was?" Don't go about &...


8

Another option you have is to take a day from your PTO/days off/etc and attend the interview the date and time it was set. If this is not possible then politely write to them and ask if it would be possible to reschedule it to other time. Be sure to give them some alternative dates where you are able to assist without problems, as others have mentioned. If ...


8

Have I messed up? Not really. A response like “thank you, see you on the 25th” to an interview invite is fine. However, if you want to sound a little more formal, you can also write “Thank you. Looking forward to seeing you on the 25th.”


8

I bet twenty years ago I'd have had some of the same issues. But since then I've had managers who taught me how to manage effectively, and not micromanage. So my approach here would be simple: talk to your manager's manager, assuming you have at least some relationship with them. Give them specific details, and make it clear you're trying to be ...


7

If the 25th is in fact the date of your interview, you have done nothing wrong. In fact, the thing you may have done wrong was sending the video after the fact; asking someone to watch a video to make you appear bubbly is kind of a big ask, and companies don't usually have time to watch video responses to emails (and asking them to do so it kind of out of ...


7

You can simply ask them. Explain how it takes you out of your flow and ask that they send a chat message/email beforehand so you can let them know when you have time. There's nothing impolite about that. Other options are simply ignoring the call and calling back when you have time, or if possible set your availability to 'busy' or 'do not disturb'.


5

Unfortunately this is probably not a situation that will be fixed by "I'm sorry, please give me another chance". Here's what you did (if I am reading this correctly): You asked a C-level executive for a significant position You were given that position and it's responsibilities You had a "power trip" and did essentially nothing You were ...


5

I am assuming that somebody is managing or monitoring the progress of the project, or at least somebody is expecting the project to be complete at some time. I also assume that you have made some kind of estimate of when you will be complete. The next time you meet with that person, tell them that the project will be later than you estimated because you are ...


5

To answer the question in the title: We cannot know. We can speculate, but that doesn't help at all. What we can help you with is how to deal with the situations you encounter. I would suggest you be more clear in what you expect from you boss. Don't do it during one of those feedback moments where they are criticizing minutia, but do it during a 1-on-1 (or ...


5

Would it be a bad idea to request that they shift the interview to a different day? You can always ask. Decide ahead of time what you will do if they insist on the proposed date/time. I feel it would be a little unreasonable for me to have no say whatsoever on when I'm free for an interview? Perhaps. There may be reasons for the schedule, such as the only ...


5

It isn't up to you to decide what conversations other people are allowed to have. A colleague speaking with their manager is perfectly acceptable. In fact, it sounds like you might benefit from getting more involved with your manager yourself. ask a question, receive an answer and then tell me or someone else in the team what our manager has said. All they ...


4

I fail to see how this is an ethical issue. If a vacancy has X, Y and Z requirements be sure to mention them. If the vacancy does not require A, B nor C why even mention them? If you are explicitly mentioning certain requirements it is understood that all of them are desirable, and the ones that weren't mentioned are not required. If a candidate then ...


4

Perhaps just inform them that this is an inconvenient time due to work. But suggest other times/dates around that time that would be feasible.


4

He did not mention himself - ok, he's not so good at his job. Did you ask him? With my emphasis to your words: I sometimes feel it's more like a putdown than helpful criticism. I often find myself thinking "Well, yeah, I see where you're coming from, but do you have suggestions about how to improve it?" Next time, try asking this loud and clear.


3

This can be one of the toughest things for a newly remote team to adapt to. If you were in the office, your PM (or anyone else on your team) can usually look your way or a quick walk to see if you look busy or not, but when the team is remote, that doesn't work. As a team, you need to agree on what your communication protocol will be. You all have work to ...


3

Have you tried saying (mildly in a matter-of-fact way) "Please don't interrupt me when I'm speaking." when she interrupts you? I had to practice a bit to make that my reflexive interaction when someone interrupts me, but I've found saying that every time a habitual interrupter interrupts can help them adjust their communication style. The other ...


3

I have an interview coming up and it will be on zoom. The employer sent me a link and said here’s the zoom link, see you soon. I replied “thank you, see you on the 25th When they send the invite, is it a calendar invite or did someone send an email pasting the link? I ask because if it is a calendar invite, all you have to do is click Accept and show up on ...


3

Unless the email says something along the lines of "this interview appointment is non-negotiable" there is nothing wrong with offering some alternatives when you are more easily available. Do remember though that they are possibly interviewing many people and have to schedule many such interviews at times to fit around their other regular work - ...


3

As another nonnative English speaker, I fully understand your feelings. Event though I try hard to use the proper wording, tone, and style (which may be entirely different depending on the recipient) I know that I fail too often. There are no fixed rules, and a phrase book would most likely not help you much, even though some standard phrases may be useful ...


3

Red-flag, yes. But not your problem. You asked for clarification of the requirements and scope, you also brought up your concerns to your boss. Keep records of all that. You've done your due diligence as far as I know. But if the law says that you need to go over your boss and leak issues to the government or something, I guess you need to do that. So if you ...


2

If the problem lies with me, I'm happy to work on it. To me this just looks like your boss has a personality. After 6 years you should be used to it not get upset by it. It's unlikely to change, so my strategy is just to take those things as part of working with an individual and look for what is useful to me and disregard the rest. I am convinced more of ...


2

When directly asking for feedback, try to head off stuff you're not interested ("Hi Boss, I'd really like your thoughts on this document. It's only a draft, so don't worry about spelling or grammar, but I'd like to know if you think the technical details I discuss are the best examples to use...") If your boss gives you feedback like "you're ...


2

It's not really a question of ethics (or lack thereof), but it's, well, it's weird. Everyone advertises roles based on the required skills because that's the most effective way of doing it. Listing things they don't need is just confusing noise, the only reason I can think of doing anything similar would be if the particular position was unusual compared ...


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