92 votes
Accepted

Should you refuse to participate in weekly meetings, because of a toxic member?

It's time for action, but refusal is the wrong way to go. You all have the right to work without harassment. If he has continued to behave offensively despite multiple warnings, and many people are in ...
user avatar
  • 71.6k
73 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

What you should have done is ask your direct report to leave the room, straight away. It's possible your understanding on the criticality of the issue was not correct, which is why you suspend your 1-...
user avatar
49 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

I have had to handle this exact kind of situation (in a different context) as a managing consultant. These other departments are not coming to you on a whim. They are coming to get a technical ...
user avatar
  • 1,398
29 votes

Should you refuse to participate in weekly meetings, because of a toxic member?

I agree with the accepted answer, but I would like to add - document, document, document. A paper trail is necessary to terminate a problematic employee. Also, it is easy for managers/HR to ignore a ...
user avatar
  • 391
28 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

I tell him that they'll join the work on it if they want to work on it. This was at best unprofessional on your part. If there's a serious issue, you don't blow off the people trying to get it fixed. ...
user avatar
27 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

What are ways to change this? You will need to educate the population on the new way of handling requests. For requests that are outside of the responsibilities of your department, you need to direct ...
user avatar
  • 64.9k
18 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

When someone in an authority position comes in says something like "DEFCON*" it is clearly an indication that there is a problem that they view as highly critical. The attitude that you &...
user avatar
  • 1,037
13 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

This is a company problem. Clearly you and the other manager have different definitions of what "Defcon 3" means. While we're at it, in the US, this level of readiness just means that jets ...
user avatar
  • 3,977
10 votes

Struggling at job. Frustrated, tired and feeling unproductive. How do I discuss this or approach a new job hunt?

I strongly feel I am not a match for this company and that looking elsewhere is the best path for both me and the company (just typing out this question feels like a relief). So find a new company ...
user avatar
10 votes

How to deal with a good new employee with poor verbal communication?

He hasn't yet spoken much in the couple of sessions he was on - because the project is new to him, and he was expected to mostly listen the first couple of meetings. So you've made it clear to him ...
user avatar
  • 1,318
8 votes
Accepted

How to announce a superior's decision I don't necessarily agree to?

The possible phrases you mentioned sound like blame shifting because the phrasing itself leads someone to believe that the entire decision is deserving of blame. You may want to try and phrase it a ...
user avatar
  • 214
8 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

Just keep saying no. It's what you were hired to do, don't expect it to be popular. I've been in this situation a few times. Best to just do what needs to be done professionally and disregard anyone ...
user avatar
  • 197k
8 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

It sounds as if the problem is already being dealt with, but not at a speed to this guy's liking. I could see how this guy really pushed your buttons. Very disrespectful! If I were you, I would ...
user avatar
  • 35.3k
7 votes

Should you refuse to participate in weekly meetings, because of a toxic member?

If the abuse and harassment is significant enough for you to be concerned about your mental well-being, sure. Obviously you should let you manager know that you can't attend due to the impact it's ...
user avatar
7 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

Talk to your boss Have you discussed this situation with your manager? If you do so you'll either learn that the other manager was out of line (they certainly were in the way they spoke to you, but I ...
user avatar
  • 6,448
6 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

Other answers really hit the nail on the head for work that another team owns or work that you can file and forget about. For requests where the external team is really insistent on getting the work ...
user avatar
  • 289
6 votes

How do you deal with disrespectful/angry coworker?

There's a serious organizational issue here. This manager believes that he is entitled to walk up to anybody at a lower level and start giving them orders. Even in the military (20 year veteran here), ...
user avatar
  • 1,347
6 votes
Accepted

How to deal with a good new employee with poor verbal communication?

The first thing you should do is to have a 1:1 with this person and explain what the problem is that you've noticed. Try to do it in as least an accusatory manner as you can. Don't be like "you'...
user avatar
  • 41k
6 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

Don't say "No", say "That'll cost ya". In the business world all revolves around money. If you use $1000 to save another department $2000 that is good business, The other way ...
user avatar
  • 1,972
5 votes
Accepted

What to say during a group evolution meeting

Think it this way: this group evaluation (or evolution) meeting has two agendas: To figure out the answers to the questions (for those who can answer) Find out the communication gaps present in the ...
user avatar
  • 61.1k
5 votes

How to ask my former employer whether he finished my reference letter or not?

I've been in this situation a couple of times back in the day. My solution is pretty direct. I save them the effort and check all the dates and everything else, then write the reference myself. Then I ...
user avatar
  • 197k
5 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

If this is a new company policy, make it explicit : I’m sorry, but our department is not allowed to accept this kind of request anymore. In addition, if you’re allowed to, historic expectations ...
user avatar
4 votes

Politely saying no to other departments despite historic expectations?

Don't say no. Say "yes, but you have to follow the new system". What the new system is, is that new trajectory you're tasked with charting out. This might take the form of a ticketing system,...
user avatar
  • 14.5k
3 votes

How to announce a superior's decision I don't necessarily agree to?

This happens a lot, nothing too uncommon I would say. While we may have differences in our viewpoints, if a decision is made / approved, you need to carry that considering you are involved and ...
user avatar
  • 61.1k
3 votes

How to deal with manager's poor communication skills?

Have you considered talking to M directly and raise all the concerns (but make sure you have all the facts ready and be prepared for questions). Do raise them without emotions at play and the goal is ...
user avatar
3 votes

How to announce a superior's decision I don't necessarily agree to?

Your job is to support the decisions your boss makes. Back door messages to let everyone know you don't agree undermines your boss and your career as well. There is no way you can convey a message ...
user avatar
3 votes

How to ask my former employer whether he finished my reference letter or not?

How to respectively ask him about this issue without making him feel even the slightest sense of unhappy? A phrasing I can think of goes something like this. Feel free to adapt it to your own style ...
user avatar
  • 72.6k
3 votes

Struggling at job. Frustrated, tired and feeling unproductive. How do I discuss this or approach a new job hunt?

Be honest and open. Explain how you are feeling and how that is impacting your motivation. You are doing no favors to anyone by keeping it in or hesitating to bring it up with your manager. This is a ...
user avatar
  • 5,194
2 votes

How to deal with a good new employee with poor verbal communication?

Anyone who's been in the meeting, if they were paying attention and participating, will be able to make sense of these notes This is a pretty arrogant statement. This would be true for people who ...
user avatar
  • 35.3k
2 votes

Should you refuse to participate in weekly meetings, because of a toxic member?

Unless this person is preventing you from doing your job, you have to do your job, however unpleasant (so long as it's not dangerous). You will have to either trust management, HR, and the company to ...
user avatar
  • 836

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible