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312

Be humble. I'm a bit confused here. My understanding was that feature X has property Y. Is there something I'm missing here which means this doesn't work in this case? Much better to start from the assumption that you are the one that is wrong, rather than the other way round. If you're wrong, you'll learn something; if you were in fact right, you've now ...


200

I think the crux of the situation is: There is no template even though my boss asked her to provide one. Next time she stops by, beat her to the punch and insist that you need the template to do your job before she even asks for the next iteration of request. When she derails the conversation with specifics of what she wants wholeheartedly agree that ...


170

Hi Bob - just so you're aware, seems like you haven't hit reply all there. No need to dress it up any more than that.


168

First of all, Congratulations!! That said, I believe your superior made his intentions very clear with the statement "I will review and determine the best way to move forward but this is not a democracy." You did your job, without having been asked, twice. Don't sweat it anymore, let them manage. You anyways have the proof that you tried helping. Your ...


138

How can an introverted non confrontational individual make this stop? It will stop when you stop reacting to their teasing. Never let jealous, ignorant coworkers (or anyone else) bother you when they lack your knowledge. Be proud of what you know. Clearly, it helped your manager.


134

It doesn't need to be accusatory or confrontational. If your co-workers are not truly over-grown teenagers, you might try something like this: Hi folks, I know that everyone is just kidding around and means nothing by it, but the constant Russian jokes have really grown old. I am politely asking that we please give the jokes a break. Thank you. For ...


76

The situation is complicated. This is certainly something unprofessional that happened here. There can be unforeseen problems that needs to be handled, but communication is the key. No one should expect support from others in a workplace without providing a context first. You mentioned your manager asked all of you to contribute towards the party fund out ...


72

When she talks to me my anxiety goes through the roof. I have to use controlled breathing while imagining murdering her in a variety of ways. This is bad. You should be discussing this part with a mental health professional. They can advise strategies and/or medication to help you cope with your anxiety, since you find it so severe. What do I do ...


71

We learn not to yell at other people at our mother's knees. This is not acceptable behavior anywhere in public, let alone in a professional setting, and she's probably well aware of it. Anyone older than 6 or so should be. Your coworker seems to be accustomed to getting a pass on this behavior (for various reasons not worth discussing here), and speaking ...


67

The lack of prior communication may be because the organizers assumed the company would pay, but did not actually have the right authorizations and budget. After the party, when they found out they were not going to be reimbursed, the organizers started a campaign to get everyone to chip in. You don't need to begin with a position on whether you are going ...


65

The worst thing you can do is keep it to yourself as she's already started badmouthing you to colleagues. Bring her behaviour to the attention of your manager. This may be paranoid, but it might be a good idea to start writing up your interactions with her, either in hardcopy or emails. Perhaps even avoid being alone with her in order to avoid a literal he-...


57

Be straightforward. I'm assuming, in this case, you were the last sender and by clicking the "reply" button, you are the only one who got that email. Then, One way could be, reply to the email which was only sent to you and inform them about the mistake like Hey, did you mean to reply-to-all? That should do just fine, no need to overthink it. ...


53

His response to me sending the recommendations for the second time was "I will review and determine the best way to move forward but this is not a democracy." Not only do I feel like this shows a level of disrespect as my colleague who left on maternity leave prior to me told me that he had asked her for a list of suggestions and had held ...


50

Are you anticipating talking to the candidate as part of the interview process? If so, then you should answer his questions honestly. You could make him aware of specific problems that he may come across, but don't badmouth the company. Ultimately it's his decision and his responsibility to do due diligence. If not, and you're proposing contacting him ...


38

It sounds to me as if your coworkers are jealous of your wonderful ability. I feel knowing another language, let alone being fluent in it, is a great asset. I'm sorry you have to deal with childish adults who don't appreciate how cool that really is. Don't react to their comments and continue to do what you do. I'm personally impressed that you speak ...


25

Here are some things that won't work wait until no-one is teasing you, approach them, and start a whole thing about how you're fed up with this teasing and it needs to stop variants of the above involving having someone else (your boss, HR, one colleague you trust) approach them and tell them to stop over-reaction at the time of teasing that can be ...


24

You can simply "ask for more clarity" and show willingness to change but subtly indicating that his concerns are not valid. An email to this effect may help: You have requested following changes in the code because of so and so reasons. However, my understanding of this language is that this problem will not occur because it instead works this way. I ...


24

If you are quite confident they simply made a mistake, save them the time and effort of resending. Just reply-all yourself, and say something like Copying everyone else in on this message


22

Is there a professional way to tell my supervisor (who does not work as closely with these people as I do) that he is making a mistake in assignments and that I really think he should take my recommendations under advisement? Or, is it better to just let this go and hope for the best while I am gone? Let it go. Deciding who gets to do what and when they ...


21

In one of your comment you say: "it is trivial to conclude that the requested change has no effect" Based on this, the easiest way forwards would be to keep the change and spend your energy on something more important. Obviously this is only applicable if the change is indeed harmless.


21

1. Do not misrepresent your company. Important part of the interview is when you ask the candidate about his expectations of the new job and give him the overall idea about the work processes in your company. One of the points here is to make sure that your company doesn't, by any chance, have the same traits that were getting on candidate's nerves at his ...


19

Say no, politely and firmly. They're not likely to fire you over $5, and if they do you can consider that a good thing. You don't actually owe this money, and if you pay you've taught them that they can abuse you and you'll take it. It might be a small thing now, but the next time it will be a little bigger, and the next time a little bigger still, ad ...


18

What is a good way to reply to an email that states they are not hiring anymore but they still have their ad up? Not to reply (and delete the email, should you choose). You already wasted some of your time, not worth to waste any further. I would like to find a politically correct response to let them know that they should take their ad down. Not your ...


18

This is from some advice I read about dealing with people telling racist jokes, but I think it's applicable to many other brands of low wit humour: Ask them to explain exactly why it is funny. Not in a confrontational manner, just express a genuine interest in understanding the underlying joke. Then for every answer they give you, ask them to explain that ...


18

What's a simple, honest, but firm way to state that I don't want to take part in this hackathon - even for the daytime? Sometimes simple, clear statements can go a long way. No need to give detailed explanations, a simple "I do not want to participate in this year's Hackathon" should do the trick. If someone asks (which they shouldn't, as it's not their ...


17

I end up debugging with them for extended periods of time. At some point, they dictate me what they're trying to test, and I run (manual) tests for them. Please discontinue doing that immediately. It seems somehow they want to depend on you are you are (unknowingly) helping them to be dependent on you. Occasional chat / help is understood and appreciated ...


17

Putting aside the legal and ethical problems, charging underlings, weeks later, for a party for a superior that, most likely, none of them wanted to throw or attend is just plain rude. It would be the same as asking guests at a wedding to pay for the wedding, after the wedding, and after gifts have been collected. A well-mannered person does not respond to ...


16

Let me get back to you... This implies you're actively working on the issue and that it'll take time. The nature of our work sometimes is we often have to deal with known knowns, known unknowns and unfortunately, unknown uknowns... that last one there is the real challenge and I think it's best to not sugar coat or mislead. Be straight. You don't know now, ...


15

If your manager gets this part of the language wrong, is it possible that other developers will also be confused by it? Bear in mind that maintainability by other people should be a goal. So: if this feature is confusing, there's an argument to be made for not using it. With that in mind, you can go to your manager and -- being humble -- state that you ...


15

In the UK, a P45 is a document an employee is given when leaving a job or being fired (for those who missed the explanation in the comments. For US readers, this is not "pink slip", but a final payslip; the termination is implicit). You're basically in sales and you're not meeting targets, so, yes, you can be fired for this. It's harsh and unfair, but that'...


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