225

Personality traits are often observed and confirmed through subtleties in your behavior, and I suspect you're oblivious to those subtleties. Just as an example, I'm going to dissect a single sentence from your question: my boss, which I consider a really capable and smart manager, has a system for measuring developer performance, in which I constantly get ...


192

I don't think a call is required to debug this. Could you please send me the error message and tell what exactly you are trying to do? I'll have a look at it and get back to you. I think you're on the right track. The only thing I'd recommend to do differently would be to change the phrasing of the first sentence: to eliminate any suggestion that there is ...


141

While it may be that you have to go to your boss and announce you're not getting anywhere, I wouldn't give up until I managed to try one more thing. About an hour spent together with this other person. In the same room with both your laptops if covid permits, otherwise on a voice and share-screens platform. You do a test. You say "I'm expecting to see ...


93

As I see, relying on the internet for gathering info is not the problem, blindly believing everything seen on internet is. You need to make them understand, unless the info is backed by some trustworthy source (ex: official channels of OEM etc.), the authenticity of the info is always doubtful. It can be personal opinion, it can be one-off case, it can be ...


91

I send an email to all my colleagues a few days before going on vacation (also setup an auto responder, and a similar worded one for external contacts (clients)). It says something similar to: I will be on annual leave from start_date and returning on the return_date. If you need me for anything urgent please contact the project_manager. Please re-send any ...


86

Over the years I have learned that the phrase "walking on eggshells" is a fantastic tell, a way to know that someone actually is arrogant, as you have been told you are. Let me explain why. You're being careful, right? You don't want to upset your coworkers. That's great. But you are not even noticing what it is you're being careful about. You're ...


75

Speaking as somebody who was once where you were, and now occasionally fits your description myself, here's some things that I think would work on me: He gives you the feeling you are stealing his time Commit this to heart: Their time is far, far more valuable than yours Respect that fact. And demonstrate that you respect it. Assume it's worth at least ...


74

Your boss is responsible for making decisions that benefit the company, not ones that benefit you personally. Your boss doesn't need your permission. You are leaving the company, your boss informs staff so they can prepare. It's not your decision at all. I don't know what else to say. It's pretty common for a boss to let managers know immediately and get ...


58

I think he's managed to move your focus away from the issue, and now you're looking at how to teach critical analysis of internet sources. The real problem is that he has a pattern of contradicting you. It's hard to break these patterns because egos get in the way. Make him work with you, not against you. This might mean broadening your tolerance for ideas ...


48

An angle that is not well touched on in the other answers is culture. Israeli culture and company culture will both come into play here. If the regional and company culture is such that you are expected to behave in a certain way, failing to do so is an obvious risk in terms of relationships (regardless of how things work in America or western Europe). ...


38

As someone probably closer in age to your colleague than yourself, my perspective: If it exists in a book, it probably exists on the internet. If it is "folk wisdom" and is valuable, it probably exists on the internet. If it is not useful, it also probably exists on the internet, but also there are probably counter-articles explaining, on the ...


32

Saying to their faces "I am not going to work during my vacation" will make me appear too full of myself, as this is not the norm in this workplace. That's it. You can do it politely. Most e-mail system have an automated reply feature for that exact purpose. "I'm currently out of the office with limited access to e-mail and messaging. I will ...


30

As a fellow "smartest guy in the room," who also struggled for years with this, I would suggest that you follow a few simple rules. When someone suggests something that you think is wrong, never immediately stop them and disagree. Always, instead, take some amount of time to think about the situation. Do you have all of the information? Are you ...


29

Maybe the problem isn't so much with him but with you? For example, take the freezer trick article that you talk about found here: That old 'freezer trick' to save a hard drive doesn't work anymore. If you actually read it in detail, it explains why it could work sometimes but the author still didn't recommend it. But the point was, it might have worked ...


27

I'll take the contrary answer on this: they may be wanting to avoid long feedback cycles. There's a very good reason to debug on the phone - it gives immediate feedback. Now, maybe you're right. They'll send the error message, you'll construct a single email reply, and they'll be able to take your email and solve their entire problem. Or, it might work out ...


25

Assuming that this is the first (and expectedly last) time this happening, I don't see it as a very big issue. However, the way you handled it is sub-par, and needs fixing. The wrong was not done when you did not get a chance to read/ respond to the email - people miss emails all the time, universe is not going to end for not reading an email / taking action ...


24

Your colleague could just as easily have posted a question titled, "How to deal with an older coworker who is too reliant on folk wisdom?" The problem with online sources and the problem with folk wisdom are the same problem: they both risk being too anecdotal. The way to counter that is to provide actual justification, and not just anecdotal ...


23

This is exactly what your manager is for. Tell him what you have done. Tell him EXACTLY what you need. Ask him if you need to continue working on this, or write the project off as "Unable to achieve due to insufficient information from Team {X}." and shelve it. The reason you are frustrated is that you are trying to work above your grade.


21

Is my boss allowed to tell my coworkers that I have resigned, before I even got a chance to tell them? Yes. You don't own the news of your resignation. It really doesn't seem fair Maybe not. If you had asked them not to share the information until you personally told your coworkers yourself, they may or may not have agreed to do so. What happened might ...


20

First make sure it isn't you Work out by hand (if feasible; else use Excel) one of the cases for which they say their formula works. If you get the same result as them, there is a bug in your code. If you know how to fix it, fix it. If you don't, walk them through your code, explaining each step in terms of their formula. Hopefully one or both of you will ...


19

Unwritten rules are learned in a few different ways. By experience. All workplaces are different but they some share culture, domain, and socio-economic commonalities. If you've worked in one finance firm, others will likely be similar. If you've worked in one laboratory, others will be similar. If you've worked in one factory... you get the idea. By ...


18

It's important to understand why people behave like this, as it can reflect a failure in training, communication, corporate culture, or software design. There are a couple of common reasons. One is that people don't have the technical expertise to explain a problem in an email or fill out a bug report; all they can do is show it to you and have you comment ...


16

If you've already made up your mind to find a new job, do that. In the interim, do what you're told. You gave your advice and you were overruled. That happens - make sure you've documented the disagreement so you can avoid blowback if it blows up in your managers' face. There's no point worrying about something that will no longer be your concern some time ...


16

That is a tricky situation. You are asking for the right things: setting clear goals, requirements, metrics and schedule is absolutely best practice and your manager's refusal to do so is worrisome and unusual. If possible, find out WHY that's the case. Could be harmless (stress, incompetence) but could also be nasty: you are actively being managed out the ...


13

The problem here is not the email which you hadn't yet responded to. The problem is the "Uh OK" response to the follow-up phone call. Obviously the matter was urgent if you got a follow up call in such a short time. But the "uh ok" response dismisses the urgency of the problem and that can easily make anyone red-hot angry. It seems like ...


12

Here's the key: My team lead has advised me to direct any questions to a very experienced senior developer from another department. It's important to make sure that the senior dev understands that this comes from higher up the food chain than you. You may be able to diffuse the senior dev's irritation by simply being honest: "Sorry, I know I don't ...


11

It can really be both. On the one hand, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down. If you're the best one, this can provoke a lot of bad blood among your peers, no matter how inclusive you are. On the other hand, if you know you're competitive, maybe you're showing too much of it for the culture you're now working in. Some tips: Ask people what they think ...


11

I have only been with this team a few months but I'm already looking for another job. Is this a problem with my communication skills or should my team be more accommodating? It's a bit of both. You need to speak up and be more assertive. If someone attempts to answer but moves on before providing you with the info you need, don't be afraid to interrupt and ...


9

How to refuse to work when on vacation while keeping relationships as best as possible? You want to establish a boundary with your boss and management that while you are on holiday you should not be reachable about work. Your problem is that you are expected to be, and that's expectation from both your management and teammates (with the business benefiting ...


9

While many answers already give great advice on how to better deal with this person and get more value out of your interactions - I'd like to give some additional perspective that may (or may not) be relevant to you, but could possibly help you with similar interactions in the future. Early in my career, I found myself in a similar situation - there was a ...


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