493

She is not "ghosting" you if she is on sick leave. The whole point of "sick leave" is that the person is not feeling well and cannot work. She might be resting, she might be out for doctors appointments or physical therapy, she might have taken prescription medicine that makes her drowsy and forgetful, she might lie down in a dark room with piercing ...


448

First, there do in fact exist managers who will not fire you just because they think you might want to leave the company, and who will not withhold plum assignments or otherwise mistreat you either. I am such a manager, for example. When I had people who were growing faster than I could help, I didn't blame them for wanting something I couldn't give them. ...


443

I want my manager to know my actual background and areas of expertise and feel guilty that I “stole” a position using someone else's credentials. However, I'd also like to retain my position, if possible. How can I tell my manager that I was hired by mistake? Skip the "hired by mistake" part - that's just silly. Deal with the "my manager doesn't know ...


439

Full disclosure: I am autistic (Asperger's syndrome) and I have fought hard not to be the guy you are describing. BE BLUNT, BE DIRECT, BE FACTUAL, STAY ON POINT We have a great deal of difficulty understanding why something that is true (or something we see as true) would cause offense, so trying to make a "how would you feel if..." style argument would ...


374

Alert HR as soon as possible. This person is going to be disruptive as long as this person is allowed to be. In fact, give this person a taste of their own medicine and tell HR that a hostile work environment is being created by a person being offended on behalf of other staff who have expressed no such discomfort. I would be considered a member of ...


365

My response to them saying those numbers are wrong would be to say that that's the reason I'm bringing this to their attention - their idea of the salary range and my idea of the salary range for this position are apparently at odds. At the end of the day, you're looking for considerably more than you're getting, and you believe others are able to offer ...


364

Just send an email to everybody involved saying that, after hours, you found (and fixed) the bug. "It is so and so in AB." Maybe with a link to something. Don't mention any person. That should be enough. You don't have to point a finger at anybody. The others will look into this and soon they will find out who was/is responsible for that bug, and next time ...


318

What's a work-appropriate way to say "Please stop talking and let me work"? Once they state the request, repeat it back to them and then say: Do I understand the requirement/change correctly? If they say yes: You say “Great, now let me get this done for you”, then turn from them and start working. If not continue the dialog with the person making ...


315

Respond politely by asking them what they need from you. Your co-worker likes to begin conversations with small talk, which is a style of communication that some people prefer. They find it necessary or comfortable to engage in warmup dialogue before stating their intent. These preferences are developed over time and are hard to unlearn. So let's assume ...


312

Be humble. I'm a bit confused here. My understanding was that feature X has property Y. Is there something I'm missing here which means this doesn't work in this case? Much better to start from the assumption that you are the one that is wrong, rather than the other way round. If you're wrong, you'll learn something; if you were in fact right, you've now ...


297

Sounds like your boss has a problem. To my surprise, where I thought I had posted my new phone number (a place where ALL employees could share their new updated contact number) was ACTUALLY where only where the branch supervisors put their phone numbers. I'd have responded to this with a casual apology. "Sorry boss, I had no idea that was only for branch ...


293

Suck it up. You were communicating negatively about a work colleague after 10 PM on a Saturday. You'd have gotten a lot worse from me if you had disturbed me at that time and it hadn't been because the server room was on fire. The boss is within his rights to give the texts to HR in their entirety, and you should never make a written communication that you ...


291

Two things can happen: Your old boss emails/phones you and asks about the lunch date. Go! Tell him how much happier you are now. Don't diss him or the old company but tell him how efficient your new company is, how you like your new job, all that stuff. Also use it to be introspective. Figure out why you stayed at that place. Figure out why the old ...


290

Don't counter. Ignore it, it is irrelevant. "You are the first one to complain about that." "OK. How are we going to solve it?" It is not important that you are the first one to complain. If you engage in the meta-discussion about the complaint (such as if you are the first one to make a complaint), the real discussion about the complaint itself will not ...


288

Stay out of it You should not have even brought this up with your manager. If it turns out Joe is not leaving, and he simply had perhaps some (possibly embarrassing to him) doctor's appointments, you may have done irreparable damage to his career. His managers might shift responsibilities away from him due to the belief that he is leaving, or may simply ...


284

You seem to be taking it upon yourself to fix a situation that is not your problem. TM You're not the boss of either of these people, and no one else seems to think these pranks are a big deal. Rather than take it upon yourself to "fix" their behavior, just laugh it up with everyone else, and let nature take its course. Either the manager will get called ...


280

When this happens to me I usually ask "what search terms did you try?". This way if they did try to search I might be able to help them search more effectively, and if they didn't they sometimes say "ummm..." and go away. Keeping open the possibility of the first is important; even if I strongly suspect they didn't try I will act as if they did. That way ...


280

Most importantly, make it clear that you have a plan for adjusting future workloads so that he hopefully doesn't ever have to do this again. There's a danger here that you seem to have picked up on. Some workplaces celebrate the "hard worker" willing to "do whatever it takes" so much that it becomes a cultural expectation that people will always "do ...


269

I suggested to my boss, to prevent this kind of situation, that he could announce the start of the meeting 2 minutes before time so that we still have time to prepare and gather around his desk. He told me very clearly that he does not want to do that. He expects that everyone be ready on time and that it's not his responsibility to remind people ...


259

Go take a walk around the block while you two talk. That's what we do here and it works pretty well.


255

Honesty is the only policy here. "I saw this file and realized it was something I should not have access to and deleted it". There is very little that you can do to insulate yourself from it at this point unfortunately. Good luck.


255

The best way to do this without being super awkward is to ask one of your coworkers what his name is. Hey Bob, do you know the name of the guy that sits in the corner next to Alice? I talk to him all the time but I don't think I ever got his name! No need to make it super complicated or make a big deal out of it. It happens to everyone.


248

How to respond to request to use a first name? If the individual requested it, just use their first name. You are thinking correctly in most cases, but in this case you will be aggravating the individual by not using their first name. Short answer: Mole hill


247

The idea you don’t understand how an employee being out sick works speaks volumes to your core frustrations. First you say this: “Yesterday I tried to contact her through the usual channels and she did not respond - yesterday she told me that she will call me back through SMS, but she did not.” I think she didn’t contact you because… She’s sick and out ...


241

I would not call it ethical/unethical but professional/unprofessional instead. Your second note is the one I would choose because includes no opinion and provides the relevant information to the next developer. The first note sounds to me as a rant more than a useful comment. As a general rule, I try to provide at least some pointer when writing code that ...


240

'Thanks, you have a great day as well!'


238

Now this in an interesting dilemma. Your legal and moral ethics are conflicting, and by that very nature, this becomes a complex issue. So, I would recommend doing the following. Don't tell the woman you've opened any documents or anything- you can get in trouble for this, even if it's the right thing to do. What you should do, however, as Jeroen suggested,...


237

No, this is not usual. You have run across a fairly common beast, however, the Elitist Super Entitled Developer. He's smarter than everyone else in his own mind and is entitled to be rude for the same reason. He has some ax to grind against Morty. Avoid him when possible and move along. While he's certainly within his rights to want to investigate the ...


237

Accept the invitation if it doesn't conflict with previous plans and go to the dinner. Attending something like this doesn't oblige you to anything at all, but it does allow you to network and to explore your options, if there are any on offer to you. You don't have anything to lose by going. If you don't go, you won't know what you may have lost out on. ...


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