193

You have, I believe, more options than this. Go as originally planned, and ask the company to give you an advance on your PTO, or work some weekends, so you can take a full vacation with your family. Use your possible losses as an argument to let you do this. Check if the company has cancelled the hotel booking you were going to use (Tuesday to Sunday), and ...


165

Does this request seem wrong? It makes me uncomfortable but I'm not sure it's really crossing a line. What do you think? I think the request is foolish. As a long time manager, I would never impose on anyone on my team that way. If the company was having financial difficulties, I'd just say "No" to the request to attend the conference, and not try to pass ...


151

I am a fellow parent and manager. I had to un-stick Lego, wipe little bottoms (off-cam) and stop fights during professional presentations. Or tell my 5 years old to put on some trousers before he comes into the camera. Other answers talk about ignoring it if it doesn't affect work performance. Having to take care of children while trying to work does affect ...


110

Your best bet would be to act as if the child isn't even in the room. If it's not having an impact on either their or your performance it's irrelevant. The professional thing to do would be to continue on about work business. It's a tough time for a lot of people, many I imagine are finding childcare hard to come by. There's a good chance that your ...


105

How do I politely decline the going to event C, without getting asked (for the second time) why I’m not going, Politely decline and let the company know that you cannot attend because it interferes with your education. This is a perfectly legitimate reason for not attending such an event and anyone who sees it as anything other than an employee trying to ...


90

Since you are a supervisor of one of the teams, you can tell everyone on the call that you can't hear a team member's status update when someone else on the line is talking or there is noise on the line. You could ask that all team members hold their comments and responses until a team member has finished giving their update. You could go as far as having ...


88

Any ideas as to how this situation should best be handled? If you are genuinely interested in the material at the conference and want to listen to all the talks then by all means take full advantage of the conference experience. If your manager or other coworkers decide to skip, you should feel no pressure to join them. If asked why you attended the talks,...


72

I have gone to plenty of developer conferences and not attended sessions. They aren't all interesting, believe me! I don't think it is that unusual to miss some for various reasons. To skip ALL the sessions definitely sounds unethical to me, assuming your coworkers truly did goof off instead. (I've done that, too!) Consider the possibility that your boss and ...


65

Unfortunately, your employer isn't liable for the costs of your family's trip or the extra nights. The firm is only responsible for the costs of travel (and the cost of cancelling reservations) that is directly related to your time at the conference, as directed by your manager. However, you might consider having a discussion with your manager about your ...


57

It would be one thing if the conference was mandatory and your manager said your coworker must stay at your house, however it sounds like it's optional and he's trying to compromise with you. He wants to let you both go, but they aren't interested in paying hotel fees for your coworker. So it seems like it's the type of situation where you're asking for a ...


57

Take this experience as a lesson learned. In the future don't plan family vacations at work events. In this case the CEO canceled the event, but this is no different than if you had been laid off for whatever reason. While you were given assurances that the conference would happen, things changed and you should not assume that things will never change. ...


44

How do I politely solve this? This person is just trying to show they are engaged with the call. They don't realize they are causing an issue. I suggest you try something like this: "Ok, from now on, we are going to alter the call a bit. Please keep all comments until the end." The other approach you could take is to have everyone mute their line until ...


32

I agree with @sf02's answer that you should simply and politely decline to attend based on your previous education commitments. However, I'd like to take the chance to point out that - apart from the educational/time constraints - I find your general attitude to the issue rather strange, and I suggest you should have a hard look at it. Your company pays you ...


30

Your manager's request is unusual in my experience and puts you in an awkward position. It would certainly make me uncomfortable. Additionally, it seems that maybe the boss is setting you up as his fall guy - your co-worker's attendence at the conference is your responsibility, instead of his. While I don't travel to many conferences, I work with people who ...


26

Do you know as a fact that they goofed off? Many attendees at these conferences, especially at the management level, use conferences not for the talks, but for networking. What might seem as "goofing off" to you may be creating new connections or refreshing existing contacts. If they actually just went to the bar by themselves, the other answers ...


23

I am hotel liaison for a small science fiction convention. Often, our hotel arrangements involve a commitment for a certain number of rooms under the convention code. That is more likely to be the case if they are using other hotel facilities, such as meeting rooms. We expect any rooms that we are covering to be booked under our code and count towards our ...


21

It's difficult for me to believe that HR would endorse this type of request of an employee. All kinds of potential HR nightmares could result. Is there any way you can get some HR input? What if the "other guy" falls down the stairs at your house? What if he/she has too many drinks and punches your wife? In over a decade as and IT Manager, you wouldn't ...


21

I would not agree that making an indirect comment about "Holding comments til the end" or "Please keep the line quiet" are good ways to handle this situation. Both of these indirect comments would also keep someone who has a positive contribution to the call or someone who needs clarification from asking. Certainly that's not the intended result. The person ...


19

As a parent working with no child-care and a lot of meetings, I've needed to navigate this a lot, and I'm not really satisfied with any of the current answers. The problem is that the current answers all make assumptions about what the parent would want. Instead, I recommend a simple, adaptive heuristic: match the parent's level of talking about the child. ...


18

I have been in a similar situation. My employer was sending me to a conference that began Sunday morning; no Sunday-morning flight would get me there in time for the start and no Saturday-night flight left late enough after the end of Shabbat. I explained the difficulty to my manager and asked to travel on Friday afternoon. (They'd assumed I would travel ...


15

As someone who does this in real life (I don't do it on the phone as much but I still do sometimes), the idea is the difference between "active listening" and "passive listening". If I am "active listening", which you should be if you are listening to something important like an update, I just do this reflexively. Speaking personally, what I would respond ...


15

I'd assume that having the child visible in the video / present in the room does not affect the work. If so, then: If you're in the middle of a conversation and your colleague apologizes, don't stop or interrupt, just nod / say "absolutely fine" (or any variant thereof) and carry on with the normal flow. If the other person is apologizing at the ...


12

At the end of the day, promoting ethical conduct is not going to have a 100% success rate. We can all wish that people would act with decency, but in the immortal words of Tom Lehrer: There are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that. As you mention, you can set a code of conduct. In fact, you can use ...


12

At companies where I've worked, development team members get a lot of leeway on schedule. HR rules like PTO are just a suggestion. The HR rules were only written so they could be used rigidly against people in less valuable positions/departments or against people who the company wants to get rid of. I'd go to your manager asap and tell him what you planned ...


11

I would run it like this. Step 1, submit your talk. Do not mention a possible sponsorship; do ask if the conference covers any costs Step 2, interview for new jobs. Be sure to mention that you have submitted the talk. In my experience (spoken at hundreds of conferences) this is something to brag about. You also need to ask if the company will consider ...


11

Start small with local events. Build a reputation there and then you will have something to show the larger confernces that you can sucessfully do a conference session. Or: Pick some topic to do that is new enough that no one has decades of experience.


11

Since you work for a state government (according to a now-deleted comment), you really should contact someone in your organization, whether it's an ethics department or even HR, but you need to be really careful about accepting any gift when you work for the government. But states (and in particular, your state) may be different. Look at a flyer for a ...


11

If I were an/the organizer of this event, and I had accepted your application, and then you tried to send someone else, I would rescind the entire offer. Your "team" is believing they are in charge of managing this engagement. They are not.


11

They probably can't "force" you to do it, but the question is: Do you really want to be that guy? The addition of the webcam is to make things feel more like your in the office and in some cases people are more effective when they can interpret body language. I know myself, I have a hard time telling if someone understands what I am explain over the phone. ...


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