Skip to main content
317 votes

Manager wants to hire me; HR does not. How to proceed?

Continue to work for this company as a consultant. Conspire with that friendly manager to enlarge your contribution until it is essentially full time or even more. Charge three times what you ...
A. I. Breveleri's user avatar
259 votes
Accepted

How can I stop harassment about my medical condition by the boss's friend?

Don't bother going to the event. It won't help. Save the emails from Betty, probably by printing them out and storing them at your house. This sounds like workplace harrasment and if you're fired over ...
Glen Pierce's user avatar
  • 9,042
251 votes

How to handle incompetent/aggressive customers incapable of describing a problem?

One of the most useful phrases I ever learned in my hellish time in a helpdesk role was "show me". People suck at describing their problems, but they're generally pretty good at showing what's wrong. ...
HopelessN00b's user avatar
  • 10.8k
247 votes

I snapped at a co-worker, apologized, but now HR wants me to meet with her

Email from HR today requiring me to sit down and discuss with HR and the person I snapped at. Am I required to go? I'm not a fan on conflict (who of us are), but I'm not too happy that HR is forcing ...
enderland's user avatar
  • 111k
237 votes

Retaining ambitious employee with rare skill set

the only real option might be to write her a good letter of reference and let her go. This. Then six months after Alice has left, get back in touch with her and see if she'll put in a good word for ...
Philip Kendall's user avatar
236 votes
Accepted

Complaints from (junior) developers against solution architects: how can we show the benefits of our work and improve relationships?

During last year HR and some managers informed us of a relative high number of complaints from junior and middle level developer about our way of work: in particular they say that we “impose from ...
nvoigt's user avatar
  • 141k
234 votes
Accepted

How should I approach a boss that keeps hiring temporary workers, only to have me finish something?

You might want to take some arguments from the book The Mythical Man-Month by Frederick Brooks. Although it was originally written back in 1975 (overhauled in 1995), it is still one of the most ...
Philipp's user avatar
  • 40.2k
202 votes
Accepted

Accused by the team of "stealing" my role from a colleague: all team members are against me

Whatever you do, keep the evidence of decisions made, changed and overturned, by who and when. Sure as eggs are eggs, they will try to blame you ehen there is an error. – Solar Mike 2 hours ago ......
BSMP's user avatar
  • 11.7k
192 votes

Managing difficult employees

View this from your tech lead's side. You've just joined the company, have given him a bunch of tasks that he's clearly unhappy with, complained that he's taken annual leave that he's entitled to(*), ...
berry120's user avatar
  • 34.7k
180 votes

How to handle incompetent/aggressive customers incapable of describing a problem?

Most people with IT problems are experiencing the problem more emotionally, rather than technically or logically. Working on an IT help desk is surprisingly and challengingly closer to therapy than ...
Todd Wilcox's user avatar
  • 1,692
173 votes

I snapped at a co-worker, apologized, but now HR wants me to meet with her

Go: No two ways about it. Be suitably contrite and unflappable. No matter WHAT this person says, do not show your temper. Express your deepest regrets and make the reason for your initial reticence ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
173 votes

How to respectfully refuse to assist co-workers with IT issues?

What can I say to my co-workers so I'm not the bad guy sending them off to the IT group? "I'd love to help, but I'm under direct and specific instructions to refer everything to the service provider ...
Wesley Long's user avatar
  • 63.3k
160 votes
Accepted

Brother-in-law earns same salary for a much simpler job in family business

Your salary is between you and your employer. Someone else's salary is of no relevance. If you are being underpaid, you should negotiate your salary raise. However, your issue is evidently not about ...
Masked Man's user avatar
  • 47.3k
152 votes

Managing difficult employees

Managing IT people is like herding cats. Make them mad enough, and you'll get the claws. Another analogy is that managing IT projects is like holding water, the tighter the grip, the more it escapes ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
151 votes
Accepted

How to handle a coworker pretending to be my boss?

This sounds like bullying or teasing behavior, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. First, talk to him directly (if you haven't already). Tell him that although you think he's just joking around,...
Caleb's user avatar
  • 6,634
129 votes
Accepted

How should I answer "Tell me about a time you had a conflict at work" if I've never had conflicts?

You might be misunderstanding the question. Conflict doesn't necessarily mean "having a row", actually it should never mean that, especially at work. It's hard to believe you've never: had a ...
BigMadAndy's user avatar
  • 22.9k
113 votes

Manager wants to hire me; HR does not. How to proceed?

At this point I do not know what to do next. The manager wants me to get on board and I have a strong track record of references that can prove I can do what HR in a 3 hours evaluation deemed me ...
Joe Strazzere's user avatar
102 votes

Retaining ambitious employee with rare skill set

You've got a number of things that you should do. Sell to upper management that Alice is a great productive employee and that replacing her would cost the company a lot. Give them details about how ...
DJClayworth's user avatar
  • 86.2k
101 votes

How can I stop harassment about my medical condition by the boss's friend?

Do not defend your illness or try to prove it in any way. You are in no way obliged to eat whatever a coworker offers to you - illness or no illness. And you certainly have completely no work ...
mathgenius's user avatar
96 votes
Accepted

Am I being ethical or annoying in refusing to 1:1 copy another company's UI for our own?

TL;DR You were right in asking the question about copyright, and you can raise more question if the answer is not satisfactory, but after you received a clarification which you seem to agree with, but ...
Sourav Ghosh's user avatar
92 votes

When should you go to HR vs. your manager with regards to an issue with another employee?

Simple rule of thumb: always talk to your manager first. I know you didn't mean it in this case, but by going directly to HR, you're implicitly saying to your manager "I don't think you would ...
Philip Kendall's user avatar
91 votes
Accepted

How to remedy a false accusation in small open office setting

This situation is a mess from start to finish. I, like the others, believe this is 110% a scam. AirBNB highly recommends not to send any payments or credit card information outside of their platform ...
kioleanu's user avatar
  • 1,136
90 votes

Accused by the team of "stealing" my role from a colleague: all team members are against me

I disagree with the suggestion that you should try to take a hard and firm stance with your team over with this. If your manager and the International Division VP don't have your back before taking ...
Wipqozn's user avatar
  • 757
88 votes
Accepted

Employees working around team member due to his personality

How do I go about getting the end users to communicate directly with the programmer? Subject: RE: Question Hi End User, Mr. X is in charge of the product now. Please contact him directly. Best ...
nvoigt's user avatar
  • 141k
88 votes

I'm being "forced" to put a company magnet on my personal car

I'm assuming this is essentially just there to ID the car as belonging to a contractor in order to allow the client to manage parking? If so, would it be feasible to display the magnet inside the car?...
motosubatsu's user avatar
  • 108k
88 votes

Complaints from (junior) developers against solution architects: how can we show the benefits of our work and improve relationships?

We do not have direct (in person) or indirect (mail/phone/chat) contacts with developers (we are even in a different office than them): all interactions are through managers. That's the root of ...
teego1967's user avatar
  • 22.5k
87 votes

Brother-in-law earns same salary for a much simpler job in family business

As others have already said, your chances to negotiate a salary change are slim. The office policy is to provide everyone with the same salary, and you pining for more would probably lead to other ...
BgrWorker's user avatar
  • 3,222
85 votes
Accepted

Invoices (owed to me) always late; also late on deliverables (me to them); past monies disputes; being strongarmed

No you don't strongarm or anything like that. You just politely send your invoice and ignore anything that doesn't include payment. Don't enter into a dialogue, they already know the issue. This puts ...
Kilisi's user avatar
  • 222k
84 votes
Accepted

As a manager - how to handle a conflict between team members that reached a boiling point

If my reports are in conflict, and unable to resolve it themselves, I'd step in and mediate the conflict. More specifically, I'd call for a meeting, have each explain their point of view, moderate a ...
meriton's user avatar
  • 5,155
77 votes

I snapped at a co-worker, apologized, but now HR wants me to meet with her

I work in IT, and gracefully managing users who misunderstand tech and misunderstand IT's role is a key part of the job description. Even if her claim was "totally unfounded", as you claim, it is ...
BradC's user avatar
  • 3,090

Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible