141

I think you'd best get some kind of professional (medical) diagnosis for this. It is a lot easier to go to your boss with a medical term that they can, to some extent, relate to and appreciate, rather than a vague description that they might just think means "he feels lazy some days, and wants my permission to slack off".


76

Two issues. Your taxes and quitting. ...it's been more than 5 months of overtime money that has not been paid and there are no benefits whatsoever, sometimes the salary can be late. [...] And I did not sign any contract when I was told that I was a permanent employee, only verbal statements and congratulations. If you are in the United ...


50

In this case, feel absolutely free Loyalty demands a certain amount of reciprocity, i.e. the employer must treat you reasonably. Being overworked, having lousy project management (getting that far behind is the evidence of that), not getting paid for overtime, sometimes not getting paid until late, and being unable to sleep all each individually qualify as ...


42

I had the exact same issue you describe for about 7 years. Sometimes I woke up not being able to concentrate at all, and other days I could work hard to catch up. After a few years I discovered what was causing this (and that it wasn't actually normal). One of the symptoms was a pretty heavy depression that would play up from time to time. After discovering ...


38

may I resign in the middle of this project? The answer to this question is always "Yes" There is never a good time to resign, it will always be an inconvenience of one kind or another. However, that inconvenience is not your problem; your problem is that your employment arrangement is no longer convenient for you. The project status is your employer's ...


21

Right now, you should follow the advice in all the other "I'm on a PIP" questions and apply for other jobs immediately. Go get out before you get fired. A PIP is not meant to be helpful for you, it's meant to be helpful for the company in it's attempt to fire you. Take action. Now. what do I do next? As for what you should do in the future, let me say ...


18

You don't need to juggle the priorities, your boss does. Whenever they ask you to do work that wasn't assigned to you by your boss, say I'll be happy to help you with that, but you'll need to clear it with my boss first. If your boss says no,then they can be annoyed with him or her, and not you. If your boss says yes, then he or she will know why you're ...


17

I'd like to take a different tack on this issue (though I do agree with the other posters that you should seek some professional help to ensure you do not have a more severe medical or psychological issue at play). In this situation you are internalizing the problem entirely on yourself - these are your bad days, you are getting no work done. But it sounds ...


16

Hi [name], Although it sounds like a fantastic opportunity, I'm really not at a place in my life that I can join your company right now. I would like to revisit this with you later on. -apcspd7


14

You should try to get it diagnosed. It looks like you have been stressing out, maybe even without realizing it. But it might be physiological as well. E.g. hormone imbalance might manifest as mood swings. Once you have it figured out you can think how to alleviate it. Even if it is "just" stress. I also don't think you should keep it separate from work, if ...


13

I was working in a workplace where my boss was bullying me and it was extremely stressful...how do you deal with it after it has become a thing of the past? I have been there myself, and it just really does take time to heal. You've only been gone two months, so feelings are still pretty recent. It helps to be in a new place, but for a while you will still ...


12

Deal with this yourself outside the workplace. You have done the first and hardest part, admitting there is an issue and that it is yours, owning it is by far the hardest part. Now find something that works to alleviate it. Exercise, a new hobby, something interesting and positive. Buy a boxing bag etc,. DO NOT take it out on your family though, many people ...


11

Based on what you describe, I doubt that he is behaving that way because of your performance or the achievement obtained; this seems more like a personal situation he might be facing. There is nothing wrong in worrying for you colleague's state of mind or mood (even if they are superiors); in fact, perhaps he is having trouble dealing with it and perhaps a ...


11

Generally a change like this means something very bad is going on in his personal life. Someone close to him may have died or been diagnosed with a serious disease, he might be going through a divorce or he might have been diagnosed with something. I bring up these things because that is the level of thing you may have to deal with if you choose to talk to ...


11

No, this should not affect your chances. First off, the background check for a government clearance is pretty in-depth, and would likely only be happening after you are given a job offer. All of this information would be considered private, so the company interviewing you shouldn't know about your medications at all - only the government investigator would, ...


10

So I guess my question is how do you deal with depressed individuals? Ignore them. and how do you stop their mood from getting to you? See above. Now, for a less facetious answer: you should only do something if a colleague's behaviour becomes a distraction to the point where it is interfering with your work. In your situation, those sighs and ...


9

Don't discuss it with your superior unless they personally know you well enough to empathise with you. They have their bad days and deadlines too. I would recommend that you discuss this with your family and friends. They will help you identify and solve the problem before it gets out of hand. If you get mood swings because of your job then you have two ...


9

I was signed off work about 5 months ago In the UK health system, if you are signed off (i.e. your doctor has ticked the box saying you are not fit for work), you should be revisiting your doctor so they can sign you back on (i.e. the line will say you are fit for work as of the stated date). Here is the doctor's line: The doctor will likely have crossed ...


9

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the two seniors running the training really don't want to be, which is manifesting itself in poor behaviour by them. It's a sad reality that many people don't identify that educating others is a specific skill, and it's not suitable for everyone. Yes, you must have strong knowledge, but you also need patience, and an ...


8

First of all: get help from a lawyer I can't give you advice which is legally binding. Keep in mind that you don't want to get rid of him because of his health but because he underperforms and all discussions didn't improved the situation. You already mentioned that its hard to discuss the issue with him. Give him a written warning that his performance ...


8

Sorry to hear what you had to go through. But believe me many people go through worse and come out strong. To start with, let us look at the positives you've got: You have got over the stress and ready to move on. You have got the professional experience. You have got the skills to get the new job. You still believe in your talent and you "know" what you ...


8

You can go one of two ways: Be upfront with the next interviewer about what transpired in the previous jobs and the divorce you had to go through. It would help if you could get former co-workers, who are familiar with what you were dealing with and who have seen glimpses of your quality work, write recommendation letters on your behalf. It is important ...


7

In general, you can't "make" your manager do anything. You've already expressed your desire to leave this project, and people higher up than you have (at least implicitly) said that's not going to happen. Hence the way you leave the project is by leaving the company. This may not be what you want to do, but at this point your options are either leaving the ...


7

I would say if your goal is to ultimately be a coder/developer, keep programming in your free time as much as possible. Coming up with a few projects that you could eventually make available on GitHub would give you some "Dev Cred" you could use as a foot in the door to a programming career. In the mean time, you gotta keep your cool and stick with your PIP....


7

Sounds to me like you need an HR adviser on the team. They don't need to be employed – there are plenty of freelancers out there who will work on a retained or an hourly basis. You can usually find one at short notice, so it needn't matter that you don't have one already. (Get a recommendation from your network if possible.) They really can be worth their ...


7

I originally wrote a comment but felt myself wanting to add more coming from the perspective of someone who has had the same thoughts as your coworker and lives with mental illnesses. I think he may be depressed I wouldn't begin to assume your intern is actually depressed until he starts to exhibit more related signs. The situation doesn't seem terribly ...


7

This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression. I think you should seek help if you ...


6

I find myself going back to sleep if I wake up early. Today I saw a window with no iron bars, I looked out of it and thought of jumping. Even small things like them making fun of me because I can code and they can't start to annoy me. I probably will do something I will regret if I don't do something about this soon. Seek professional help ...


6

if they let me work remotely, then they would have to let everyone work remotely. This is basically equivalent of saying "lol no" to your request. You gave your reasons and your employer could not care less. I would not suggest taking a pay cut in return of working remotely, it will not help you and if anything, make you seem desperate. I would look into ...


5

He kind of jumped us with the disclosure that btw he had anxiety and depression and was receiving treatment for it. We kind of panicked and just accepted the signed contract back. He obviously didn't want to make a big deal about it and neither did we. I'm not sure I understand what "panicked" means in this context. But that was your clue that your ...


Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible