244

Start looking for a new job. As soon as you have found one, put in your notice and get out as fast as possible. It is very unlikely that these people will change anytime soon, and you certainly don't want to work with them until they do. Your actual question was "how could I keep my job being at the same time honest?". You could, by just trying to avoid ...


221

I would personally use both her first and her last name, and do the same for everyone else in the raffle. While not bigoted per se, refusing to treat all entrants the same is a problem in the workplace. That her name resembles an offensive word in English should not be a serious consideration in any case, as (hopefully) persons in your business (be they ...


219

Is this discriminatory? No, probably not. Is it inappropriate to put in a job ad? Yes, most definitely. First, I'm going to assume that your colleague just wants to include the "bonus" section for flavor and doesn't actually want to judge hiring based on SNES skills, because to do so would just be moronic. Second, unless you are hiring a video game tester, ...


200

Stick to the facts. How do you know it is their religion that is causing the issue? It could very well be some form of issue with their home life, or maybe they lost "the spark" and are not happy with their career. As long as you don't focus on the religion I don't see how it could be related. Don't comment on when these issues have been happening, just ...


163

If you want to keep your job and don't want to lie, your last remaining option is basically not getting involved. Engage with them professionally, make sure to communicate a lot about your actual job and show passion towards your work, but whenever they try to pull you into a discussion that makes you uncomfortable, respond only with "I'm sorry, that is not ...


146

As long as you kept your feedback limited to the things she did, what the effect of those things were and what she could do to get a better outcome I don't see how anything you have said could be construed as being related in any way to her gender. She has tried to make it about gender, not you because she has taken it personally and to be fair as you are ...


141

Suppose the hiring manager was a woman and she announced that she thought the ideal candidate for the IT role was someone who had worked needlepoint as a hobby. Oh, and scrapbooked. It would fit the "corporate culture" she was trying to create. And she'd done those things herself as a younger person and felt that they contribute greatly to the person she is, ...


127

You should talk to your manager or HR contact to make sure that they understand your situation. In many cases, if you are in good standing and a valuable (potential) employee, they will work with you on accommodations for this. I do disagree with one of your claims though, and it is important that you represent yourself accurately. None of this affects ...


125

How do I handle this conflict between Helen's religious freedom and Mark's sexual orientation? There is simply no conflict here. Religious freedom doesn't mean you are allowed to "insult" or "talk shit" about coworkers. Helen can think those thoughts, but she cannot vocalize them to coworkers and thus harass them - such harassment simply has nothing to ...


116

If you're dealing with someone that has problems with social interaction and social cues, one thing to do is ask yourself: Do they comply with instructions? The reason I ask that is because... well, some people are just jerks. It's not that they can't understand interpersonal aspects - they simply don't care. However, from the sounds of it, your coworker ...


98

Here's a simple solution (for you): pass the buck. You can just follow through on the original plan of the promotion and name the conference room after her. I'd expect management to object to the name for the same reasons you gave, and now it's their problem to appease the employee. And if they don't, then maybe you were wrong in thinking that most people ...


96

You need a lawyer What you have experienced is sexual harassment. You are being further victimized by having your career damaged by this person. You need a lawyer HR will not be your friend here. They will do their best to protect the company, and as a male, you will have great difficulty going forward. You need a lawyer Everything you have done before, ...


90

Although I doubt if this is discrimination in a legal sense, that question is most properly asked in a legal forum, or with an attorney, not here. As far as discrimination in a professional sense - yes. According to Wikipedia, discrimination is "treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the ...


89

No, it's not. Discrimination laws are written without regard to which group a party belongs to. Meaning that if a perceived minority discriminates, it's just as illegal. You've specifically stated that you don't hire or consider people who are not chinese. It would seem to me that this fits directly under the laws prohibiting national origin discrimination....


87

I think you should mention your name change in the resume or something like John Doe (Formerly Known as Jane Doe). I understand the risk of possible discrimination but if your potential employer is discriminating type, they will discriminate at any stage once they find out (and that can happen even AFTER you get that job). You will save yourself great ...


86

I think you should not touch religious ground here at all. One, because it is totally irrelevant, two, because you can get yourself into all kinds of legal difficulties. Why is it irrelevant? Because all that is of interest to you is the performance of the employee. Why the performance is not adequate is not your problem, that's your employee's problem. ...


84

As you move to more senior roles, those for people with over 10 years of experience, it's common for the roles to require significant soft skills, such as leading others, managing a relationship between two firms (vendor and customer, for example), co-ordinating tasks and priorities without anyone feeling slighted, and so on. It's possible that you either do ...


83

How can I defuse this situation without seeming insensitive or intolerant? What am I doing wrong? Unless you are willing to follow through on the terms of your fundraiser, you're going to have a very difficult time appearing sensitive and tolerant. Not having support from HR and management makes that outcome unlikely. If you are truly correct about how ...


79

(It is in dispute if this answer is suitable for Germany) Are children a reason to be rejected for a job? Yes. Are children a VALID reason to be rejected for a job? No. How can I prove they rejected me for this invalid reason? You cannot. Remove the personal information from your CV. You may want to take a close look at your CV to make sure there are ...


74

From your point of view, this seems to be a clear case of harassment. You don't mention the country - in many countries this would be a huge problem for the harasser, and it could become a problem for the company if it doesn't act to solve the problem. I can understand that a manager wants to keep this quiet. Doesn't mean they are right, but I can ...


68

You are completely misunderstanding what religious discrimination is. A law against discrimination means you can't treat people differently for being religious (or make rules that conflict with a faith just for the sake of it). It does not mean religious people can do whatever they want. A good litmus test for whether something is religious discrimination ...


66

If a person changes their name from "Jake" to "Richard" then they expect to be called "Richard" from then on. If you insist on calling this person "Jake" because he's just "a Jake pretending to be a Richard" then that would be considered quite rude. You may not understand the reasons for the name change or think they're silly, but it's their name. Not yours....


65

No discrimination. Yes, you're overreacting. ...and you diminish a very important protection mechanism with banal nonsense ! In fact employers are free to chose their employees' suitable qualifications and personalities as they please and they deem fitting into their company. Discrimination is to reject because of race, gender, religion, age etc. Check ...


63

Standard caveat - I'm not a lawyer and therefore can't even begin to advise on any potential legal outcomes (speak to a lawyer or ask on Law.SE if you need any guidance there). It's a very, very tricky situation - anything that carries even the barest whiff of religious discrimination in the UK is a minefield of potential HR and legal issues. The way to ...


56

I'm in a very similar position and also work in a management position with responsibility for hiring. From my experience, the fence sitting of employers is a real thing so what I did: Inform previous employers by letter including documentary evidence and ask them to update their records allowing them to answer the question of "new name". CV / Professional ...


54

Yes gender bias can be a problem. But if you hide your gender until they meet you for an interview, the bias will still happen. Further, working for someone who doesn't want a woman working for him can be a truly miserable experience (Yes I know this from personal experience.) So it filters out the jerks you don't want to work for. However if you are not ...


51

First of all, understand and convey this: You have no objection with the setup, you're just not happy about the male co-workers missing out a chance to learn and grow. You don't need to necessarily fight the decision, you can also take the alternate route. If you're not OK with going to the VP of HR directly (which you need not anyways), you can have a chat ...


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