Hot answers tagged

150

I think you are attaching too much importance to this, insignificant, event. They probably will gossip a bit. They tell this story as what it is - a funny story to have a laugh about. You can't avoid it. Then they will forget. If they have been working with you for more than a few days, I can't imagine they could start behaving differently towards you just ...


91

I would simply say Doesn't bother me and leave it there. It is not rude to either one and more likely than not Jane should get the hint that you are not interested in discussing Joe with Jane behind his back.


70

Don't dwell on it. Admit to feeling embarrassed and move on. Your colleagues will respect you the same or more than before. Their laughter was likely because the level of embarrassment was trivial enough to make it legitimately funny in the moment. Most colleagues would not laugh at an event that seriously jeopardized your character or authority. Remember, ...


24

Is this slander or defamation? Well, surely this is speaking bad of you, and perhaps seeking to hurt your professional reputation. This could well be because this woman is jealous of you or your professional success. Should I go to HR and explain the situation to them? Absolutely not. This woman does not work in your company (nor is she telling ...


23

She doesn't know where I work or what I do. She doesn't have any evidence to back up her opinion. I think that right there is all that really matters. It is a non-issue. Don't go to HR or even bother mentioning this to anyone at your workplace. All that matters is your comment: I'm known around the office as a competent and trust worthy employee Have ...


22

Don't worry. 90% of your colleagues fall into two categories: Those who have kids, and those who will have kids. What they have all in common: They are relieved that it was your son and not theirs. It's really no problem. I can tell you what a real problem is (happened to a friend of mine when he was 17). He came to school one morning, gathered all his ...


19

I wouldn't worry too much about it. To be honest, I don't think it reflects too badly on you personally, and it says nothing about who you are professionally. As a member of your team, I certainly wouldn't judge you for it. Sure, there are always going to be people that do, but that is out of your control. Your best course of action would be to go to work ...


18

I am surprised that none of the other answers have proposed what I would consider the simplest response to comments of this nature: No response at all. At work, if somebody asks you a question or makes a statement that you find awkward, offensive or otherwise unpleasant, and it has no direct link to or effect upon your work, you are not obliged to respond ...


15

If Fred and George's bickering is directly affecting your ability to perform your job, then you should absolutely bring it up to upper management. By "directly" I mean that the situation has escalated beyond annoying and is making your ability to be professional and work with Fred, George, or Ron hard or impossible. Otherwise, you should really leave it ...


14

This doesn't sound like bickering at all, it sounds like bullying. And advising the bullied person to be less of a target seems a poor way to handle it. It's not like it hasn't occurred to him already, for one thing. Defending Ron isn't working either. The reason they shouldn't pick on Ron is not because Ron's not that bad really it's because picking on ...


12

Rob's answer is quite good and if it comes to some kind of direct confrontation, solid advice, but I have something to add: so far you have actually entertained his questions - you answer them and engage in further discussion about these non-work related questions, which is likely encouraging Tim to continue with this annoying behavior. So as a first step, ...


11

You best bet is not to get involved in other peoples squabbles - the only person that will get hurt in one way or another is yourself Why mention it to your manager? Either he knows or if he does not it does not appear to be affecting his ability at the job. I think you have the right attitude - just walk away.


10

Just stop gossiping in the office and take this kind of discussion out of the office. Assume that you're being overheard while you're speaking and think about the harm that your comments being taken out of context may cause those whom you're gossiping about. Make social plans with your friend and agree to take these discussions outside of the workplace. ...


10

This is actually not too uncommon in some cultures and companies. It's main goal is to avoid overspending or competition in gift-giving. You don't have to make your gift "rude" as in insulting (you can still freely chose, remember?). I would suggest not to jump to any conclusions and ask people for some examples and you will probably find that it's quite ...


9

Your manager has apparently not been properly trained on workplace harassment issues. If you choose to participate, proceed with extreme caution. A "rude" gesture or gift to someone else (who may find it amusing) could be deeply offensive to someone else in your office, giving rise to a hostile work environment claim. Even if person A and person B are OK ...


9

This sounds like a classic case of workplace bullying. When there is a concerted effort by people to cause you distress within the workplace, then this is something that needs to be taken seriously. What can you do? Well, the first thing to do is to approach HR again and use the specific term "workplace bullying". It's not gossip, it is bullying. You ...


6

Something which one has to remember at any WorkPlace is: If you are not comfortable with something, you don't do it and you also make sure you get your intention forward As simple as that. How do I deal with this? You can simply walk up to your manager and tell him that you are not comfortable with the initiative. Has anybody had experience ...


5

I believe there are two problems here which come together: You are too nice. Tim is rude. You can counter problem 2 by solving problem 1: Tim : "Can I try your food?" You : "No." Tim is going through your bags when you buy things: "Tim, I'v noticed that somebody has gone through my bags while I was absent. I find it particularly unpleasant and if it ...


5

I generally will listen to them and figure out if they are venting or need advice. If they are venting, just listen to them and when they are done talk about something else. Ask them questions about their lives, interests, etc. Tell them about yours. Eventually they will get to know more about you and possibly have some more common ground to talk about. ...


5

As long as the jokes are in good taste and don't cross the line, I'd just roll with it. If they do cross the line, I'd approach the person with a witness and ask them if there is anything they need to discuss with me. Afterwards, I would firmly state that I will not tolerate the humiliation of myself, my family, or fellow colleagues at the workplace and that ...


4

I agree with talking to your manager about your discomfort and potential HR fallout from the "rude gift" theme. Offer several suggestions such as going to lunch, "Ugly Elf" exchange of white elephant gifts, gift pass game, etc. Since names have been drawn, it's hard to back out without making it look like it's personal about the name you drew. I'm "that ...


4

Yeeeccchhh, that's a rough one. First of all, you can't tell your manager and not tell him who. The only way he can address the issue (if he's going to) is by talking with the people involved. And, the first thing he's going to say if you come to him without naming people is to ask who it is, then he'll get mad when you don't tell him. That being said... ...


4

Honesty. If it isn't an issue for you or you don't smell it,tell her so. In general, it is good to stay out of interpersonal squabbles and gossip. Is the colleague cycling to work? Good thing to tell her too. It might even be an indication to get communal showers at work. Though that is a whole large can of worms on its own, so tread carefully if at all. ...


4

You don't need to lie, just say you found a better opportunity. You don't have to give any reason why you don't like your current job.


3

You already recognized that this is an issue and you need to stop, therefore there's really no other answer that will make more sense than continual discipline of your habits. Old habits are hard to kill but not impossible. Keep track of what you say and when you get those "urges", you as a person will need to have to strong will to stop it. You will fail ...


3

How to become more resilient to gossips about you in a corporate setting? I think you should listen to your wife and friends and don't let this get onto you. Just try to keep it professional. Try not to get involved in gossips as much as you can. If someone comes to you to share gossip politely turn them down. If you hear or perceive gossip being told ...


3

I think its better to not tell the reason as it might create pre-concieved opinion about the manager and everyone might avoid working under him/her. Let them have their own experience and decide for themselves. You can tell the job didn't worked out for you. If the manager is bad then sooner or later everyone is going to get to know this anyway. Edit: ...


2

I tried to talk to Ron about this, so he could try to stop some of his annoying behavior (of course, I didn't word it like that), so that he wouldn't be the target of Fred and George's behavior, but he seems immature as well in his thinking. "Why would I be nice to people who are not nice to me?", he said. Fred and George shares the same mindset. It sounds ...


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