Episode #125 of the Stack Overflow podcast is here. We talk Tilde Club and mechanical keyboards. Listen now

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7

It's hard to unravel the social aspects of your question, but I think that's as much because of how you are personally mixing the social and professional aspects as it is a sign that the two are actually interwoven. In other words, don't get hung up on social skills as a way to create trust. In fact, trust created purely by way of social prowess is probably ...


1

Did the manager/boss think I'd gone behind his back? That I shouldn't even have recommended the new colleague for that role? There's no way to divine what the manager/boss actually thought at the time. I know how I would have felt. Usually the manager/boss hands out tasks/roles. I'm guessing this particular role was given to you by your boss. Instead of ...


3

Without knowing the whole sequence of events and internal culture of the organisation, it seems unlikely that you would have been fired for this without it even being mentioned to you by your boss. It sounds like your colleagues were in agreement (and aware of) your assigning the task to the new employee, so it looks like the reassignment of the duty was ...


0

From a programmers perspective: This answer isn't really an "on its own" answer, but too big for a comment: You say he runs into a dead end, quits and wants a new task. If I'd do that, I would get fired pretty fast. Part of the job is fixing those issues, we get paid to fix exactly those kinds of problems. My view on what I think the relation between a ...


-1

You'd first have to comprehend what anxiety disorder means for someone who has it - which should already explain why he refused two of the proposed jobs right away, no matter the excuse he may have presented... while there are ten different kinds of (which the OP does not specify). Also "not knowing how to call a colleague listed in the directory" likely was ...


3

I've never answered an SE question before, but I felt I needed to do this. I recognise what this person is going through, and with high confidence. I have gone through similar stresses myself, and can strongly relate to the described person's issues. As one answer mentions, although buried hence warranting a second look, the issue is: Fixed Mindset Here'...


1

You are mixing 2 things: being supportive of an employee letting him dictate what he wants to work on Despite what recruiters say work is no Disneyland. The sooner the employee learns that better for him and you. And if he does not want to do that better for you to find that ASAP. This is your first failure as a leader. Second failure is the belief ...


13

My son has anxiety, among other things, and exhibits many of the same behaviors as your employee. I have some insights I think will help. His self esteem is largely because he isn't finishing things. When you let him not finish something, it reinforces that you also think he isn't capable. He is probably capable, he just needs a strategy for getting past ...


2

It sounds like it is time for you to start The Process. You need to talk clearly about the issue with the employee in a frank and open manner. The usual stuff: "I" messages, objective observations and such; no emotions. Google "radical candour". Whatever you do, at the end of the meeting, the employee should really be aware that there is an issue here, and ...


18

I think you need to involve HR (am I really saying that? :-) ) in a formal review process. A manipulator is at work here. A few serious red flags here (and not your fault at all). he'd tried to deliver the work package we'd agreed upon, but that he'd hit a dead end and was giving up. That's not his choice. You agreed a goal and he can't just opt out (...


1

Some remarks/ideas: Ask him about if he has some hobby he is really good at, such as playing the guitar. Then ask him how he got there. Did he play it perfect from the beginning or was it lots of practice? Anytime he is about to give up remind him it's like playing the guitar, he needs to try more and practice. Ask him to write down a checklist. Every time ...


25

There's one thing that seems to be missing in the steps you said you did: Evaluate his skills, and based on that, what tasks he can do. If needed, if his skills include some that you're not proficient at, find other employees, senior ones whom you can trust, to evaluate his skill level. Based on that, estimate whether there is a place for him at all, or ...


7

Helping other people become successful is the true hallmark of a leader. Your goal to help this person when he is down in the dumps (per your description) is laudable indeed. You will need a number of ingredients to give yourself a good chance of success: Patience: For a person who has regular panic attacks, it is a long road ahead to get back on track. You ...


98

It sounds to me like you're coddling an underperforming employee. Anxiety and lack of self esteem are not reasons to allow an employee be unproductive and picky with their tasks. You aren't equipped or trained to treat self-esteem issues. Sit down with him, discuss what the road blocks are, and brainstorm ways to move forward. You should not allow him to ...


38

"I know I'm failing him as a leader" I think you are doing really great according to your actions and go further than a lot of managers I've experienced in my last 20 years in the IT-industry. "..and what did you do to get things back on track?" We once had this issue with a long-term intern in our company working on minor tasks of our flagship-product....


2

What is a successful strategy in commercializing internal products like this? Depends on the product, but basically the same, find a market and sell it to them. With or without customising it every which way. My main bread and butter started as an internal product. If you are an C-level executive, have made these kinds of decisions? What is the basis of ...


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