New answers tagged

0

You seem to put too much emphasis on unverified personality/behavioural tests. You mention Myers-Briggs. From Wikipedia Myers-Briggs - Criticism: Many of the studies that endorse MBTI are methodologically weak or unscientific. That's a nice way of saying Myers-Briggs is rubbish. You also say: Some tests even suggest slight Asperger, combined with ...


1

Is home office an option? I'm a dev just like you and I spend only a single day every week at the office. It works great for me in terms of productivity yet I'm still regularly available for meetings, discussion and general chat. In my particular case this arrangement had been thrown off the table as unfeasible the first time I had asked for it. It was ...


4

Build trust with the new managers. The fact that there is so much separation between your team and the rest of the company is most likely creating uncertainty for the new managers. With uncertainty come fear and fear leads to unwise decisions, like injecting teams into your team to diffuse your independence. By showing willingness to include them you ...


1

Given that you are the 3rd person to join the company, I'd assume a good relationship with the CEO, and go direct to ask about the raise. Then make up my mind what to do after that. In the normal course of things you're definitely entitled to a raise. A lot depends on the type of startup, if it's a funding mine then they won't care. Usually you don't ...


1

I understand and agree with your concerns, the extrovert agenda can be really frustrating, but you also have to understand the other side as well. Culture is important in the workplace and having coworkers openly communicate and be friendly with one another is considered a positive almost universally. Some people even make a career out of being friendly to ...


2

This could be me posting something similar when I had my first consulting job, though you have the benefit they are not lying to you, as they were to me. As for people hanging out talking all day around your desk (why?), in my previous job, I would tell them to go otherwise when I had critical things to attend (for instance, a big failure). Here I usually ...


7

Any suggestions on what I should do moving forward? Find a new company to work for. If the person responsible for giving you a raise became angry at the idea of giving you a raise and refused to give you a raise, that is a sign that you should not be working for your current company. Also, the fact that over the years you have been given additional ...


11

You have to change job Sorry, I know you said "no job changes advise" but there is no another option for you. This is the culture of where you are, it won't change, its much more probably that you end up fired at first lay offs and that will happen, soon or later. Such companies like that are very often inefficient and won't thrive because people just talk ...


4

This answer assumes your manager is acting in good faith but there is possibly a communication issue; essentially you need to: Clarify exactly what he wants and action it appropriately, while Mitigating the personal difficulties you face. 1. Manager's Requirements Soft Skills - these are important and if your manager believes they need improving, then ...


3

Studies going back to Jung and the formation of the concepts of Introversion and Extraversion describe the amount and type of energy we expend in pursuit of social goals. Introverts typically are required to expend energy when surrounded by large groups or a great deal of stimuli. As an introvert (INTJ no less) myself I use to believe this made me ...


3

I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but software engineering is one of the most introverted professions. The vast majority of your colleagues you are complaining about are also introverts. So why does their behavior seem so non-introverted? Because they are adapting to their environment instead of futilely hoping for the environment to adapt to them. ...


1

At the next performance review, forget that you are an introvert for a moment and complain to your boss as loud as you can. Tell him how by not accepting and accommodating you as an introvert, the workplace is exclusionary and prevents diversity. Tell him that you want your unique contributions to be respected and reflected in your ratings and in your next ...


2

I hesitate to suggest this, but could you try malicious compliance? It seems like you've pretty much been told that collaborating (i.e. chatting) with colleagues whenever they want, socialising more, and getting people to talk about you is more important than the work you're doing.  So why not actually apply that, concentrating on all those things even at ...


8

Your office is doing things wrong. I thought before that there is no "escape" to these wrongdoings of the usual way people work, but now I learned that specially for software development, there are some mandatory conditions that should be met to work properly. I will explain my two experiences and why I learned that. BEFORE: I worked for the IT department ...


2

My advice would be to simply ignore the drama and chow down on work. If your manager starts giving you a hard time for that, you start documenting about her behaviour towards you... That way, it can show that you're interested in the work and that you're able to fight through office drama like this. It can also get you "the long end" in any discussion - you'...


19

Regarding needing quiet time: Whenever you have a problem, stating "solving my problem requires me to do nothing and everyone around me to change" never works. Never ever, not even a little. So you are already off base here. You don't have to blast music into your head to reduce noise; conversely, you can get headphones with noise-cancelling features, or ...


66

One thing that I like to tell people is that "A diagnosis is not a destiny" For some background, I am autistic, LD, hearing impaired, and have had a lifetime of ill health, so this is not a "toughen up, buttercup" speech from someone who hasn't lived through it himself. In fact, as a quintessential outlier myself, I heartily understand what you are going ...


133

Like it or not, social or "soft" skills are more critical than you think. While I absolutely do not subscribe to the idea that a person's thought and behavior can be boiled down to a few letters, being an INTJ or an introvert does not preclude you from being a good workmate. Promotions always come with an increase in responsibility and almost universally ...


1

Ironically I am the most active communicator This is in contrast with you claiming to be an introvert. Collaborating with other people is essential to success of the project, so if somebody has bad social skills it is a good reason for not promoting them. Be very honest with yourself and think again about your social skills - are they really not lacking? ...


22

"We want people to chat, that's our new thing now. This is how are collaborative etc." [...] I expected him to bring this up with the relevant people so these conversations would stop Why did you expected him to make people stop if he clearly stated that this is part of new company policy? You expected him to read your mind that you are not happy with it ...


169

As an introvert SE, I have my style of doing things and getting things done. Same here. But an introvert isn't a protected class, nor is it a disability, so anywhere you work isn't going to start running to make special considerations for you based on the fact you "just prefer to work in the zone". There's two angles I'd take here. Firstly, if any kind of ...


4

I've just joined the firm a month ago and... I realized there's a mismatch in skills and expectations... I've come to the realization that this job isn't for me. It's been a month. Don't draw this conclusion based on your gut feel just yet! New jobs/environments often feel uncomfortable - you should even expect it. Push through this, and in a couple more ...


27

How to deal with team lead who keeps recommending you new jobs? Ignore the recommendations. Focus on getting an excellent referral after your two years. Don't get roped into anyone elses career moves. You owe this company some loyalty, they haven't done anything I can see that warrants you leaving them after the investment and trust they have placed in you. ...


0

A little personal experience being that employee X myself: I've worked at a company where I too signed a 40-hour week contract, I too am in the software business (with all the implied "productivity hours" that many other answers have already brought up). Due to commute issues I regularly came in the office 10-15 minutes late, daily, or about one-hour ...


0

Just say "Yeah sounds good! We'll catch up in the future for sure." and then never talk to him again like most normal people do when they leave a job.


2

First of all - management is almost always unreasonable. The one reason for the continued popularity of the comic strip 'Dilbert'. Document everything. When given direction by management at least get an electronic copy of the instructions. If accused of anything don't be defensive. Instead ask for clarification of the 'mistake'. Again, the request ...


4

“Without sounding controversial”: You calmly state the facts. For example “You accuse us all of doing X. None of the people present here has ever done X. One person who is not here has done X once, but this is a very minor problem compared to other problems that we have.”


-2

I have been in 'senior management' since 1988 and as a consultant in a lot of 'huge' corporations/conglomerates/multi-nationals and also small businesses. What your mid-manager is doing is NORMAL in most work places, sadly. Mid managers are usually afraid of young people coming up the ladder, and sadly, top management condones this... So, what your mid (or ...


1

Yup, totally unprofessional and in many cases consideration for constructive dismissal - in that he expects you to find out and resign, saving the company the trouble of firing you or his personal preference to get rid of you without any means of firing you. So, start keeping a diary of all the times he has been like this, all the things you've heard or ...


3

You might be right, and many companies have this practice, of not promoting the people which really deserve promotion. Also, of course, the "easiest" way to get a position you want is to find one elsewhere, already available and advertised. If you want to get the promotion at your current job, you need to plan it ahead, and be patient. I present below some ...


2

I feel that I outgrew my current position about 2 years ago, and that I really need to be doing more advanced, higher-level work in order to continue my professional development. Given that you want to do exclusively high level work, but your team isn't big enough to warrant that sort of role, you're not likely to win that battle. And I would argue the ...


27

While I agree with some of the other answers that depending on the situation it would be wise to start looking for other work opportunities, I would like to address another point that you have in your question. Keep in mind this will depend on your organization's culture and structure, so you will have to judge that for yourself. You say he has been ...


0

Who is supposed to be running the stand ups? Usually it's a scrum master. Do you have a designated scrum master? Who is supposed to be delegating work? Is that not happening? Seems to me like they are motivated and want to get stuff done. Use that to develop their leadership skills.


7

It's hard to tell if they are taking over because there is a power vacuum, because the team is functioning well, or because your employee doesn't understand that self-directed teams don't need managers climbing all over everything. You have to answer that question. If there's an actual vacuum and you need to step in, click the "Accept" checkbox on dan.m's ...


12

Trying to take charge of delegation, trying to run meetings and standups If this is occurring it is only because there is a vacuum with regards to someone being in charge of delegation, running meetings, and running standups. If you want to lead that team, if you want to be a manager, you need to fill that vacuum. Otherwise, other people will, and very ...


7

What is the best way to approach this ? Outline and define their role so that you're both clear on the issue. Then take charge of your team and manage it, don't allow your responsibilities to be eroded in future.


3

Is this misconduct on his part? Surely he shouldn't be saying that.. This all depends on whether or not your colleague will be taking on your responsibilities after you are let go. I have seen many cases where managers will speak to employees directly affected by a firing before the soon to be fired knows. Sometimes it is to get ahead on knowledge ...


40

Is this misconduct on his part? Yes, it is. He most certainly should not be discussing that with his subordinates. But at this point does it matter for you? Surely you will be fired regardless if the information being shared with you is accurate... My advise to you would be to ask your line manager directly, without revealing your source. If you are ...


120

Is this misconduct on his part? Surely he shouldn't be saying that.. Don't know if "misconduct" is the word but surely this is something unprofessional to do. However, I fear that the point here is that you were hinted that you may be getting fired soon, so I would be preparing my resume and start applying to jobs ASAP.


9

he wants to be e-mailed first everytime before I can talk to him because he has a busy schedule. It looks like a practise that he follows to keep his day organized, so an e-mail asking for some time should be enough here (as a direct report you don't have to be 100% precise). What would I need to put in the Subject line and how should the body of the ...


3

First off, you should never tell your boss you are resigning (or may resign) in an email unless you have no other option. If at all possible this should be done in person, or over the phone if that's not feasible. Since you don't have regular one-on-one meetings with him and he requires an email to set up any other meetings, you'll have to say something. In ...


0

Many companies have rules regarding contests or gambling. Fantasy football with a money buy in might be a violation of rules at your company. Some companies have relaxed rules about this such as doing a limitation cap on how much you can contribute (usually $5 at the most). My guess is that you're all in violation of company policies. Most companies will ...


1

You obviously have to do this in a way that doesn’t make you look bad. That person wants to know everything, doesn’t actually anything to help, and you suspect they try to take credit for your work. Forget the third part. Focus on the first and second part, which would look strange to anyone. Go to the company owner and just ask what the role of this ...


3

I'm going to assume by being "the company manager" you hold the highest managerial position of the company, and the "manager" you refer to is the owner of the company. If by "tell the company owner what's really happening" you mean that you'll explain to the owner that credit for your work is being stolen, you can expect to get called childish and ignored. ...


1

I don't know where you are in the world, but i have seen sick days taken used in redundancy matrices. So even if it is not immediately apparent it could have detrimental long term effects. What happens if you do catch an illness that requires lots of sick days, you will now be over and HR will be on your back, with a possible warning.


12

Your boss is messing with your professional reputation I don't know if that is their intention, but it is certainly the end result. Taking sick leave straight after a planned holiday generally carries a negative connotation - it is not a good look. Your boss might think they're doing you a favour, but it could give other people in the company the impression ...


19

Just because this has not been mentioned yet, Assuming your company is larger, I have seen organisations where the budget for paid vacation comes directly from your team / manager's budget, but sickness comes from a central company medical expense budget. It could be that your manager is trying to manipulate such a system to have a little more money for the ...


5

Honestly I'd guess there's a greater than average chance that what's happening here is not legitimate. I think you probably realise that it would take some extraordinary reason for it to be. Key seems to be this line why waste it when other types of leave are available Well, because the different types of leave are for different purposes. There's ...


1

Going to propose the social route here: Talk to Bob. If you have any kind of personal relationship with Bob, then just have a word with him. Hey, so this is a confidential conversation as your friend, but the other day I noticed your CV on the PC...Are you thinking of leaving? Then, if they say yes: I understand how you feel and will be sad ...


3

You should always be prepared for new hires. People can leave your team for many reasons, some suddenly and beyond your control. Your responsibility to the product owner isn't necessarily a particular set of people but the resources to deliver. From your question, I don't see where you've simply asked Bob what's up. It's certainly not unusual to hate ...


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