248

Why hide it? Yes, your boss was intoxicated, but you don't want to have issues because you didn't mention something you full well knew and they then find out later. Just make sure to explain exactly what happened to the new manager. If I was informed the previous boss, who was sent on sick leave, had told someone, while in an intoxicated state, that they ...


199

Let's start by taking about two steps further back: If you have a team that is so deadlocked that a single person can make the headway you've described, you have a dysfunctional team. It just isn't possible that a single person is so much "better" than a group of talented professionals. Something is seriously wrong there. You either have an ...


183

Usually for me, the following simple phrase suffices: I wasn't feeling too great yesterday, but am feeling a bit better today. Thank you for asking As your coworkers are supportive, the odds are they want to know that you're OK - you don't need to disclose any more than that to them. If you show gratitude for their concern and indicate that you're ...


163

Question: am I supposed to reply to urgent work emails even if I am not fit for work? No. You decided you weren't fit enough mentally to be working, and your doctor and HR agreed to put you on leave so that you could not work, and so that you could spend your time recovering. So stop working and recover. Stop checking emails. Doing anything else risks ...


134

In short, no, you should not remove an account number or refuse pay. You must be doing something right, because if you were really doing a bad job, you would be fired. It is understandable to feel like you aren't doing any good work or you are burned out, but the ultimate decision on how you are performing comes down to the company. If you really need ...


113

There's a very simple way of conveying that you have an appointment: Hey boss, I often have appointments scheduled for 6 PM. It takes me about an hour to get to them, and so I'd really like to take advantage of our flex time policy to come in 10 minutes early, and leave at around 4:50, such that I make it on time. Could we talk about it? If you don't ...


112

I haven't consulted a doctor yet This is the key phrase in what you wrote. You indicate that you are having "health issues" which are severe enough such that you and others see it impacting your work and severe enough that it compelled you to post here. Worry about your health first, then worry about work later. Get yourself to a medical facility and get ...


98

What's the correct thing to do? Do not continue talking to HR about this, they are not your friend. HR exists to protect the company. Should I tell HR that I am having a very, very tough time, or just shut up, deal with it and work poorly? At this point, you have already shined the HR spot light on you, I would not draw further attention from them. ...


89

am I supposed to reply to urgent work emails even if I am not fit for work? If you are on sick leave, you are not supposed to check emails. You are on sick leave, not on standby. As you are not checking emails, you cannot reply, no matter how "urgent" it may be.


87

I think Alison has a good answer for this, from a person who was interested in moving into management: If they were fresh scars, indicating that it was ongoing, I think that would be on people’s minds, and their concern for you would probably get in the way of being able to see you in a management role. But they’re older scars, so I really wouldn’t worry ...


84

Don't worry about writing an apology letter, try and move forward onto other opportunities instead. As a priority, you need to work with your doctor on your health/medication issues and get your health and well-being resolved. When you've done that, you'll have a better platform from which to look for work. Unless you get your health sorted out, you're ...


82

You shouldn't have to cope with this. Yelling at colleagues or underlings is extremely unprofessional. You should never have to bring this up in interviews, and if a colleague (including a manager) yells at you the correct response is to: State, calmly, that they are being incredibly unprofessional and you consider this discussion to be done. (If you think ...


70

Proceed as though the conversation with your impaired boss never happened. Also, I don't see how you're at risk legally in this situation. (Although I am not an attorney.) If he went out on medical leave, what appeared to be drunken behavior may have been some other medical condition. I would put that conversation out of your mind and focus on your tasks....


58

Have you tried asking him how to make code reviews more tolerable for him? Using the examples you listed above, what if they went more like this? Employee A - This variable X, I think maybe it would be clearer for everyone if it was TotalSalesThisWeek. Is it ok for me to rename it? Employee B - [asks questions until they understand the code and grasp the ...


58

I would go in a completely different route than most people are saying here: I would set up a separate meeting with HR ASAP. There are two issues here: The way you were treated by your intoxicated manager and the effect that has on the company. The work that you do and that your team does. The issue with being fired (and the reason given!!) is related to ...


50

I go on holiday at times when I would be perfectly fine to work, and therefore perfectly fine to enjoy my holiday. I take sick leave when I'm not capable of working (or if there is something infectious, if it makes me inefficient and would be bad if passed on to everyone else in the office). By the way you describe it, you were not capable of working. So ...


42

Is there a more tactful route I can take that doesn't involve (as much) lying? It is none of their business, do not lie about it. Lying is never a good idea, and almost always comes back to bite you. I would urge you to simply say "I was not feeling well, but I feel fine today." and then change the conversation with another line like "Did I miss ...


38

I had TERRIBLE withdrawal from sertraline. SO.... Don't just quit without the supervision of your doctor TELL NOBODY ON THE JOB. It's not their business Be prepared to take a sick day or two if you're not feeling right. Even with your Psychiatrist dropping you down slowly, you can still get withdrawal, be very aware of the side effects and if you feel ...


35

How can I politely ask my employer not to give it to me until I feel that I have improved? Chances are good that's illegal. I'm not a lawyer, or even an HR person, but there are state laws governing pay, including how often they're required to pay you. They can't just decide to not pay you. Any decent company would not want their reputation tied to this ...


33

Human Resources can't help you with this. That isn't their role. HR's job is to look out for the interests of the company and make sure the employees aren't causing problems. They aren't counselors and are not able to help you with your mental health issues. If your workload is giving you problems, you need to talk to your manager and work with them to find ...


31

In the circumstances, seeing a mental health professional seems like an action you should take irrespective of your employer's demands. When you find one, discuss with them (not necessarily as your top priority though), what the normal 'back to work' procedure in similar circumstances is in your country. They have been trained in how to discuss their ...


29

You do not have to disclose anything. But, if you just don't tell anything, everybody will suspect their own thing and it can start rumors. So this is one of the edge cases where I would suggest a harmless lie, as it is the best for all involved: One day => terrible headache! There is nothing more to tell about that, there are no after-effects like with a ...


27

The reason the company (HR) is demanding these things is because they're trying to cover their ass and ensure they don't get sued by you or, were you try to commit suicide again and succeed, by your heirs. So they're asking for: "medical report from the hospital" → to confirm what you've told them (that is, it was a suicide attempt and not, say, a ...


27

Back in my old career we used to have an ER nurse at a local hospital who had scars all up her arms that were very obviously self harm scars. The first time I saw them I felt very awkward and tried my hardest not to look at them. After a few times I got used to them and ignored them. I always did have questions in the back of my mind about what caused ...


25

As @snow indicated, a letter of apology isn't absolutely necessary here. That said, it would be a nice gesture and may make you feel more at ease with yourself. If that's the case, such a letter could be very short and simple: Dear Interviewer: Thank you for meeting with me on the date to discuss the employment opportunity. Unfortunately, I could not ...


23

This will depend on local and company customs (and any laws/regulations where applicable). In my opinion: No, do not answer (most) mails. Answering mails (or communicating in general) is work. You are officially unfit to work, so you don't. To address your points: I am sick and all my projects are blocked. These projects all affect the entire company,...


23

As someone who has experienced all of these things, I first want to ask back some questions. Do you still find your work as interesting as it used to be? Do you try to keep your body active? (If your body doesn't work then the brain can become slow and you tend not to remember things) Do you get regular and enough sleep? (Can effect performance/brain ...


23

What are some techniques I can use to reduce the dejection that comes from a "Thanks, but no thanks" e-mail from these positions? A few thoughts: Don't make it personal. A rejection doesn't mean they rejected who you are as a person. It means they didn't think you were a good fit for the position. How you frame this in your mind is incredibly important - ...


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