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264 votes
Accepted

Fired by an Intoxicated Boss

Why hide it? Yes, your boss was intoxicated, but you don't want to have issues because you didn't mention something you full well knew and they then find out later. Just make sure to explain exactly ...
Draken's user avatar
  • 9,733
198 votes

How to handle a highly productive employee but who reacts extremely emotionally to code reviews?

Let's start by taking about two steps further back: If you have a team that is so deadlocked that a single person can make the headway you've described, you have a dysfunctional team. It just isn't ...
Wesley Long's user avatar
  • 63.3k
190 votes
Accepted

Is there anything better I can say to coworkers after taking a day off for mental health, when they ask?

Usually for me, the following simple phrase suffices: I wasn't feeling too great yesterday, but am feeling a bit better today. Thank you for asking As your coworkers are supportive, the odds are ...
Daniel's user avatar
  • 1,204
148 votes
Accepted

Left a meeting without apparent reason. What to do?

Tell your team lead. If you’re in a place where you can get so disassociated that you think a meeting is over when it isn’t, odds are that self-monitoring isn’t going to work, because the very mental ...
nick012000's user avatar
  • 10.7k
134 votes

How to politely decline my salary due to feeling I don't currently deserve it?

In short, no, you should not remove an account number or refuse pay. You must be doing something right, because if you were really doing a bad job, you would be fired. It is understandable to feel ...
dfundako's user avatar
  • 6,206
112 votes

How do I talk about my health issues with my boss?

I haven't consulted a doctor yet This is the key phrase in what you wrote. You indicate that you are having "health issues" which are severe enough such that you and others see it impacting your ...
Joe Strazzere's user avatar
112 votes

How do I tell my supervisor I have other engagements after my shift is over?

There's a very simple way of conveying that you have an appointment: Hey boss, I often have appointments scheduled for 6 PM. It takes me about an hour to get to them, and so I'd really like to take ...
AndreiROM's user avatar
  • 49.6k
101 votes
Accepted

Should I be talking to HR about my struggles with stress and depression at my workplace?

What's the correct thing to do? Do not continue talking to HR about this, they are not your friend. HR exists to protect the company. Should I tell HR that I am having a very, very tough time, or ...
Neo's user avatar
  • 84.7k
97 votes

How do I explain to my mentor that certain stuff is not possible without sounding negative at the same time?

Slow down. Take a deep breath. You're an INTERN. Use this opportunity to learn as much about this company's environment as possible instead of focusing on a deliverable. It simply makes no sense that ...
Nelson's user avatar
  • 14k
91 votes
Accepted

How to handle (one's own) old self-harm scars (on the arm), in a work environment?

I think Alison has a good answer for this, from a person who was interested in moving into management: If they were fresh scars, indicating that it was ongoing, I think that would be on people’s ...
thursdaysgeek's user avatar
85 votes

Employee barely working due to Mental Health issues

My small firm faced this with an employee. We had (and I hope that you do, too) disability insurance coverage which pays (some of, but it's tax free so it is supposed to work out the same) a person's ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
82 votes

How to cope with an extreme aversion to being yelled at as a professional?

You shouldn't have to cope with this. Yelling at colleagues or underlings is extremely unprofessional. You should never have to bring this up in interviews, and if a colleague (including a manager) ...
Erik's user avatar
  • 35.7k
74 votes

Fired by an Intoxicated Boss

Proceed as though the conversation with your impaired boss never happened. Also, I don't see how you're at risk legally in this situation. (Although I am not an attorney.) If he went out on medical ...
Neo's user avatar
  • 84.7k
58 votes

How to handle a highly productive employee but who reacts extremely emotionally to code reviews?

Have you tried asking him how to make code reviews more tolerable for him? Using the examples you listed above, what if they went more like this? Employee A - This variable X, I think maybe it would ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
58 votes

Fired by an Intoxicated Boss

I would go in a completely different route than most people are saying here: I would set up a separate meeting with HR ASAP. There are two issues here: The way you were treated by your intoxicated ...
durron597's user avatar
  • 856
52 votes

"Ace" engineer deliberately broke his own toe to avoid training replacements during notice period

I could only find one actual question in your post How do I convince the people in charge to just cut their losses? I don't think you can. Senior management has demonstrated repeatedly that they are ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 123k
50 votes

How to handle a poorly performing employee who's potentially suicidal

This is what HR is for, in this case: HR IS YOUR FRIEND This person is suffering from an illness which is affecting his performance. Most HR departments have access to, or can direct an employee to ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
43 votes

Is there anything better I can say to coworkers after taking a day off for mental health, when they ask?

Is there a more tactful route I can take that doesn't involve (as much) lying? It is none of their business, do not lie about it. Lying is never a good idea, and almost always comes back to bite ...
Neo's user avatar
  • 84.7k
42 votes

Employee barely working due to Mental Health issues

Personal issues are exactly that. Personal issues. If they can do their job, great. If they can do their job, but at rather mediocre performance, it might be a good idea to keep them on anyway, after ...
nvoigt's user avatar
  • 141k
41 votes

Should I disclose a mental disorder that's been impacting my job to HR/my boss?

Instead of saying nothing or disclosing the mood disorder, I suggest a third option: Let them know that you have a health condition that you are working with your healthcare team to resolve, but it ...
mhwombat's user avatar
  • 4,780
37 votes

How do I explain to my mentor that certain stuff is not possible without sounding negative at the same time?

Do NOT work overtime on this. 40 hours a week, then you stop. The reasons: One, you don't get paid for it. Two, your performance drops rapidly. Yes, in one month with lots of overtime you will get ...
gnasher729's user avatar
  • 169k
36 votes

How to politely decline my salary due to feeling I don't currently deserve it?

How can I politely ask my employer not to give it to me until I feel that I have improved? Chances are good that's illegal. I'm not a lawyer, or even an HR person, but there are state laws governing ...
BSMP's user avatar
  • 11.7k
36 votes

Should I tell my boss that I'm stopping a medication that affects my mood?

I had TERRIBLE withdrawal from sertraline. SO.... Don't just quit without the supervision of your doctor TELL NOBODY ON THE JOB. It's not their business Be prepared to take a sick day or two if you'...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
36 votes
Accepted

How to handle a poorly performing employee who's potentially suicidal

This is a very tough situation. There are several potential circumstances to take into account, from what if/optics perspectives to local/state/federal employment guideline/law perspectives. Depending ...
Austin759's user avatar
  • 1,341
35 votes
Accepted

"Ace" engineer deliberately broke his own toe to avoid training replacements during notice period

My honest, personal answer to your plight, rather than your question, is to invite the guy for a beer and ask him if his new company is looking for people like you. But your question was how to ...
Tom's user avatar
  • 11.7k
34 votes

Should I be talking to HR about my struggles with stress and depression at my workplace?

Human Resources can't help you with this. That isn't their role. HR's job is to look out for the interests of the company and make sure the employees aren't causing problems. They aren't counselors ...
Seth R's user avatar
  • 12k
31 votes

Why is HR asking for proof of motivation for suicide?

In the circumstances, seeing a mental health professional seems like an action you should take irrespective of your employer's demands. When you find one, discuss with them (not necessarily as your ...
Robert de Graaf's user avatar

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