178

Your manager is not being unreasonable. She asked you to reserve tickets, you reserved tickets, she acquired (and paid for) tickets based on that reservation, and now she expects you to pay for them. That's not an unreasonable position to take. Perhaps she should have double-checked or something, but by the same token, you should have told her once you ...


119

So my question here is: "Would it be unprofessional to go to a team lunch and not eat anything." I wouldn't specifically label it "unprofessional", but some might. But it would likely be considered odd. Check out the restaurant's menu ahead of time. Find something on the menu you can eat - if not an entree, consider ordering an appetizer, salad or soup. ...


58

Pay your boss for the ticket and re-sell it if you are not going to go. By giving your boss $10 to reserve a ticket you essentially told your boss that you intended to attend the game and that it was OK for your boss to purchase a ticket for you. It is not the same as a cruise reservation as a cruise reservation is completely controlled and handled by ...


32

I don't think it would be particularly problematic. It's certainly not unprofessional. You'd very likely be asked a few questions about it, but if you're not worried about that and have a good response I don't think it's a problem. You can either provide a canned minimalist response, or provide more details, depending on your comfort level. My team ...


23

Don't read too much into this. If I had a nickel for every time someone accidentally deleted critical data ... Someone made a mistake and didn't realize it. The first mistake was in allowing anonymous users to edit the sheet directly, but here you are. Bring this up to the organizer. Let them know right away. I bet that they can fix it. Also, accept ...


21

Isn't it more logical to use a working day instead? Certainly it makes more sense to do this during the work week, if you actually want people to attend. A company that isn't willing to have an event on company time sends a clear signal that this event isn't important.


17

They are either genuinely nice, or genuinely in need of a good contractor, or quite possibly both. So you should go to that party, enjoy it, get no more than minimally drunk, and expect that someone will talk to you about contracting for the company.


16

In a perfect world, a smart event planner will nose around and get some help figuring out any serious limitations for the core team, especially for a smaller group event. Often a "we're planning an outing, does anyone have any serious issues?" mail will go around. As a boss who loves planning events, when I have smaller teams, I often make it my subtle ...


12

What should I expect in the event and what preparations I must do so that I don't have too many deer in headlights moments. First, consider what intentions you have about this event. If you're thinking, "I'm not going to look awkward. I'm not going to look stupid." and other similar thoughts with a "not" in them, I don't really see this going particularly ...


12

She should have got confirmation of numbers before ordering tickets- many people can have valid excuses for not attending : medical, family commitments etc etc If the price of the ticket is not too onerous then, just for peace, you might consider to pay... BUT if the tickets are expensive then, in reality, she cannot force you to pay. Paying the reserve ...


11

She followed up once before ordering and I told her I still wasn't sure if I could go. It looks to me as though this is where it all went wrong. The point where she says, "I am following up now before ordering the tickets" is the point where your $10 charge for showing an interest turns into a commitment to pay her for the ticket she's buying on your ...


8

Forget it. Folks who are enthusiastic about what they're doing like to talk about it, and that's OK. The evening hike group sorted itself out happily into subsets: the serious hikers up front, who don't want to talk; the middle group who wanted to talk about work or related topics, and the folks at the back who wanted to talk about anything but work...and ...


8

I think you should pay your manager or see if you can find someone else interested in the ticket. The analogy to the cruise company misses the mark because your transaction with the cruise company is different than your "transaction" with your boss. I think a better analogy would be: Your group of friends decides to go to a ballgame. One of your friends ...


7

There are two separate matters that are semi-orthogonal. Buying the tickets: a money commitment. Separate from Actually attending the game: a time commitment. Look at any game held in SF Giants ballpark. You see a lot of empty seats speckled in the crowd. These are seats that were sold and not attended. Happens all the time, especially in ...


6

You are not comfortable? Fake it. Fake being comfortable and fake it good - And eventually, the fake will become real :) To quote the comment from A_worker_bee: "fake it till you make it!" :) They may be seniors but they are people and as a group of people, they are no better or worse than you :) If they are inviting you, part of the reason is that they ...


6

It will not be a problem at all if your manager and coworkers are civilized. Just make sure to tell them that you enjoy their presence (you may have some starters which are appropriate?). I had a case once (EDIT: twice, I forgot again recently) where I forgot I was having a team lunch and had lunch before. I went with them but did not eat and of course ...


6

Was it a scam or a genuine call? I honestly think the latter because I think I asked the correct questions and I did indicate my willingness to work. You cannot decide this based on your questions but based on their answer/s. As per the information provided, I suspect this may be a scam or genuine company but not ready to spend enough. You can verify ...


5

You're making a lot of assumptions here and it sounds like people are trying to get it right for you. Chances are the person editing the spreadsheet had two open and when you added your name to the last of the list, it got deleted when he saved the older one. Just because your name was deleted, that doesn't mean it was a purposeful action. "Never attribute ...


5

Never say never. You may not see anything future wise at the company now, but things change. Keep what appears to be a positive relationship open. If they discuss contracting, listen politely and state "I will consider it and get back to you". In short if your comfortable with it, go and have some fun. Relax and catch up with your former co-workers and ...


5

I'd discuss this with your manager first. Maybe he/she knows that some tight deadlines are coming up, and attending a conference (especially with the whole team) might not fit into the schedule. If you make the team too enthusiastic upfront, by forwarding the call for participation, it might be an awkward situation for the manager having to disappoint them. ...


5

I'm a long-time vegetarian with relatively recent gluten intolerance so I have some experience of this. The first thing to do is be open about it. With allergies it's relatively easy, as few people will argue with them. With other things, it is IME easier if you have a public reason, but almost always I've been able to get acceptance from my workplace. But ...


4

I go with the flow and with the moment. If a co-worker offers to shake hands, why not? There is a warmth in that handshake that doesn't necessarily get duplicated when you shake a stranger's hand. I have interacted on a business basis with total strangers who were pleased enough with the experience of interacting with me that they offered their hand near ...


4

Ask your boss, inform him of the details and get permission before you do it. I don't see why this couldn't be done at work though, I set up labs all the time. So if I was your boss I would refuse. But you may have better luck.


3

Are there strategies that have been successfully employed to help people focus on topics other than work related matters at these events? Or is it just difficult to do this since it is still a work related event? The challenges here are (1) people have usually come from work and so are thinking about work, (2) sometimes finding the right person to talk to ...


3

The other option is to ask your manager yourself. This conference that you said I could go to. This would also be of interest to my team mates. Could we arrange to all go as a group? The chances are that there's only budget for you to go, or that work will back up if everyone goes at once - it's your manager's call.


3

How should I ask for such sponsorship, who should I be asking and via what method? Or, should I be asking in the first place? If you have an HR rep, you should ask her/him first. Often, they know if a program is in place for sponsorships like this, and if not, they know who to ask. If you don't have an HR group, ask your boss who to talk with. At least ...


3

You just tell those that need to know that you're not able to make it. Exactly like your other coworker did. No need to go into the details of why you don't want to go.


3

Offer to let someone else go in your place who would be held back due to their duties or workload, and then ask someone to live stream the event for you through a Google Hangout or Skype call. One way to participate in team building is by sacrificing yourself for others. Feel free to mention your allergies, but highlight the fact that you're willing to fill ...


3

One should either notify the person putting together the event or their manager with any special dietary restrictions. Some allergies can be rather extreme in terms of reactions so it is worth notifying those in charge to see what accommodations could be made. Similarly, if one has changes due to religious diet restrictions, lifestyle choices,e.g. vegetarian,...


3

Here is a possible way to talk to her, providing that the company actually paid for the tickets, not the manager out of her own pocket. Hey Manager - It's too bad that you ordered the tickets before confirming with us that we could attend. I know I reserved a ticket, and that deposit is clearly my responsibility. But you ordered the tickets, and at the ...


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