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95

It's perfectly fine for you to prefer to keep work and family separated. I think it's also fine for your employer to ask you if you were willing to have your family and friends test the service (but not to force you). You've politely declined, so I don't think there's much more you have to tell them. This, in theory, shouldn't hold you back. What if your ...


88

Although I congratulate you on your achievement, IMO it's not appropriate. The same would apply to winning the lottery, receiving an inheritance, hitting a jackpot in the casino, getting a big chunk of tax-returns or buying a house on the Cayman Islands. Financials should be kept private and shouldn't be rubbed under the noses of coworkers. The reasons for ...


27

I'm going to offer an alternative way of framing your negative It's unlikely it'd bring any value to their lives This statement tells me that your family might not be the target market for the service. I don't have the full context of your service and your family to make it into a nicer, more concrete example, but when asked again, I'd list a few ...


26

I've only experienced this once in a workplace, and it was from someone of a more typical age to pay off a mortgage (about 55 as I recall), but it struck all of us as somewhat unusual. [Edited to add: our culture was also that there are "cakes in the usual place" for birthdays etc. I have been in the workplace (various companies) about 20 years.] In your ...


18

Always act as if you are staying unless you are absolutely confident you will be leaving. There are many reasons something like that might fall through: Company runs out of money/hiring freeze Company can't get you the money for some reason Until you quit, you don't have confidence you won't be at your current employer for years You might have something ...


14

When I was a beginner many years ago, there was a situation when I understood something, the PM understood it, but the rest of the team did not. My explanations were not very useful. The discussions only closed temporarily until they opened again on the same topic. I was initially confused by the approach of the PM, but I eventually understood it and ...


11

Can I back out of the first offer without consequences? You can back out of a job offer at any point in time before you start the job. The only consequence may be some hard feelings on the part of the employer. In many locales, you can even quit a job at any time without any repercussions.


9

It is unlikely to hold you back (in western countries). Companies commonly trial new services or products with so called "friendly users" - quite often employees or families of employees. People who, if something is wrong (which is likely during early trials) won't immediately complain on social media or the press, but talk to - in this case - you about it ...


7

Unless you signed a contract with a penalty clause, there is absolutely no reason why you should not back out of an offer. A future application to the company may not be looked upon too favourably, but that's about it for consequences.


5

Two things you should consider: First, CC'ing to one level above is almost always seen as some kind of escalation. You have to decide, if a training is worth this. Second, there's a high chance that your boss's boss won't intervene, because your manager has the financial responsibility and the big boss doesn't want to undermine your manager's authority. ...


4

I too am a software developer. The answerers telling you that "if you're actually a domain expert you should be able to explain it" and quoting Einstein are not actually answering your question. The situation you find yourself in is extremely common. I am fortunate enough to have a ratio of software developers to management of 5:1. The managers have been ...


4

That your company keeps asking this despite you saying no repeatedly suggests that they are desperately looking for beta users for the product. I'd suggest saying no again, and explaining why on that basis. Look, the truth is my family members would have no value, maybe negative value, as beta users. They're not our customers - Even if I get them to sign ...


4

I'm concerned that it's going to look bad if I sign a new contract (even one of indefinite time) and then give them my resignation less than 4 weeks later. If your current company wants to give you a raise, they have business reasons for doing so. With at-will employment (and assuming that's what this is), both employer and employee assume the risk that ...


3

Yes, you may back out of this offer. Having two offers gives you some power. It is good to use that power to advance your personal career. The best way to use that kind of power is subtly. To exaggerate, think "iron fist inside velvet glove." You can be polite without being weak. The wise / subtle thing is to give the first employer a last chance to get ...


3

To avoid conflict, you can tell your family said no. This does not even need to be a white lie, you can ask your family (and explain the advantages and disadvantages and tell them that they should not say yes to do you a favour) and probably will get a no.


3

No means no. If they asked you once to involve your family in their company, that was pushing a boundary pretty hard. If they repeatedly won't take "no" for an answer to an unreasonable request, that's preposterous. These people are unprofessional weirdos. If they're this desperate to find anybody to try their service, they're almost certainly doomed in ...


3

Different tech companies have very different standards of attire. Some of the more modern companies (or those who pretend to be modern) pride themselves by how lax their dresscode is and that even the CEO comes to work wearing a polo shirt. This trend was set by successful tech company managers like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg who rarely appeared with ...


3

After going through my internal connections, I was led to the email address of who would be my future coworker. We both would manage a team of developers. Is it ethical/appropriate to send them an email to connect with the intent of potentially applying for the position? If I could get more information from someone who is in the position I am ...


2

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. ~ Albert Einstein You need to be able to explain your work in a way that makes sense to someone with no knowledge of your field. The more complicated your work gets the better you have to get at explaining. When you learn to explain your work you mostly get to know your field even ...


2

IT tends to be relaxed. I have had bosses who wore flip-flops and shorts in the day to day office life, dressing fancier to visit clients. It varies wildly from company to company. I would drop the suit and the tie and overdress a little just to get the feeling of the company. You can always go shopping after you leave work.


2

Is this likely to hold me back? We don't know your company culture or your senior members, so it's pretty hard for us to say if it's likely to hold you back. We don't even know what your product is. It is likely that they cannot legally do anything. It is also possible that this may affect how invested you appear to be in the company. This can have various ...


2

There are several bias that work against your warnings being heard. First, people are often overly optimistic about their ability to carry change, and put on their blinders when it comes to potential obstacles. Second, depending to the way you communicate, if you often warn people about bad stuff, it's also possible they believe you are being overly cautious....


2

You have a duty of loyalty to your employer. Regardless of benefits provided by your employer and regardless of a non-compete agreement, you likely cannot pursue additional employment that creates conflicts of interest (e.g., creating a choice for a client to hire you or your employer for similar services). I suggest pursuing side hustles that are in a ...


1

Take what enderland said (it's always possible that you stay). But even if you leave, it's always better for you to leave with a promotion and a higher salary; this can only be useful when you negotiate a new contract with a new company.


1

Fact is that as a contractor or consultant you are the perfect scapegoat. Just don't worry about it. You give your best advice. If it is ignored, then you do what you can, take the money (which should be generous) and the blame, and run. Everyone at the company is happy because they were not blamed, and you should be happy about the payment. That's life.


1

For situations where you have some control over the culture of software development - for example, when you're a team lead, or you're a consultant involved in the planning phases of a project, etc., I think it is quite reasonable for you to impose some formality with regards to the analysis and consideration of "risk". For example, I've always liked doing ...


1

Talk to HR. Without knowing the specifics of what they're doing or saying, that is the best advice we can actually give. If you are a doing the work as assigned, on-time, and without a drop in quality, then there's likely no reason for them to be treating you this way, and HR could get involved in mediation or corrective behavior for the PM and scrum ...


1

It depends on the environment you have at work. If your coworkers are just casual acquaintances you happen to see on a daily basis, then I'd say no, for reasons others have stated (bragging, etc). However, if your coworkers are more like friends, where you share personal stories, things about your lives, hang out outside of work, and so on, then I see no ...


1

Why not? I see colleagues celebrating happy things in their life with their coworkers all the time. Marriages, children, birthdays … You don’t have to mention how much money the mortgage was. You can simply say that you’ve finally payed back your mortgage and because you feel happy and relieved about being debt free you want to celebrate with a cake. I’m ...


1

Let's say you're working for Facebook or similar social media before they were popular. But you can't be bothered with promoting the very service you're working on? Either: you really don't care about the service, which is bad enough; or maybe the service is so bad that it's going to be a disaster, that's even worse. I'd say the first case is more ...


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