Episode #125 of the Stack Overflow podcast is here. We talk Tilde Club and mechanical keyboards. Listen now

New answers tagged

0

Should I openly tell my manager what I feel? Am I interpreting the above signals wrong? If you are going to speak to your manager bring up only facts, not what you feel may be happening. Only the first two examples are worthy of discussing with your manager. If the work estimates are incorrect, you demonstrate to your manager why this is the case. If ...


-1

From what you wrote, the time to act is now. Document what you can on the part of miscommunications and other examples, as tangible as you can. Schedule a meeting with your estranged boss, Present it to him as unoffensive as possible. And based on that, ask for relocation to a different team.


0

The problem here is that you haven't been consulted from the get-go. Development is a collaborative process from start to end. Moreover, I find it puzzling that you need ask us how to object to a design choice. Whenever a technical decision is being made there should be a debate as to its validity amongst the team. The way it has always worked out for me ...


3

Should I openly tell my manager what I feel? Am I interpreting the above signals wrong? We cannot say, for sure. However, it's too soon to escalate your "observation" to your manager. There are couple of things you should do before you switch to "complaining" mode. Performance hits by decreasing estimates of my work. For example, if the work will be done ...


-4

I dont think this response from your boss is of one instance, its respond of all mails. As these Dr. goes through lot of hard work, pressure, misery and frustration to get this Dr. title, its abivoius to them get frustrated when you are not referring them as a doctor(not all). Like in your case one should not only apologise but also point out with respectful ...


1

Ask for clarification If you see problems in the design, ask about the desired behavior where the design breaks down. For example: What happens when 5 users access this form at the same time? or How should I handle it when I get an HTTPError in this part of the code? This will serve two purposes: - It will show that you understand the design ...


0

You didn't state either way whether this happened or not, but I would add to the other answers that even if you call her by her first name when speaking to her privately, you should use her title when referring to her in the third person, and when addressing her directly in other group settings when you are not speaking one-on-one. An email is an example of ...


0

Solid answers already. My approach would be to sidestep the whole apology/asking/mind-reading thing and just start referring to the boss as Dr as that's the implied preference. She'll let you know if that's not what she meant, but more likely the issue is fixed. with minimal fuss. This is a written communication potentially accusing you of misconduct,. not ...


6

Ask your boss, ideally face-to-face, what she meant by her remark. As long as the accusation is implied, it isn't possible to answer to it. Make sure it doesn't appear confrontational, but you show that you are genuinely interested in learning what you did wrong. It is very likely that there is another issue. But if it is indeed the situation your ...


51

How should I respond to this? You should tell her that you referred to the male doctor they way you did because he has never introduced himself using his first name. You should tell her that you meant absolutely no gender bias at all, but if she would prefer, you would be glad to refer to her as Dr. as well rather than using her first name. Some (in ...


4

My problem is, what can I do? I don't want to look like I'm not willing but at what point will I begin doing the job I applied for? You applied for Personal Assistant and that is the job that you have. You need to be aware that depending on the company, some assistants will have much more work than others and the tasks can greatly vary. In your case, the ...


1

Your basic answer is that you won't. The job you're doing right now? That's the job they hired you for. It may not be the job you want, but it's the job they expect from you. Nothing's going to change by itself. Right now, you have three meaningful choices. Accept it and move on. Adapt to your new reality. It doesn't sound like this is acceptable to ...


1

As the question specifically requests phraseology, here are my suggestions, preferring words like concern and avoiding words like disagree and insist: If given the task in a meeting where the lead developer may want to save face: I have a concern about it, but I can certainly do it. (this lets them choose whether or not to ask 'and what is your ...


4

Raise the concern - "I have some concerns about the selected solution design. Is this open for discussion, or is it beyond the scope of my responsibility to bring this up?" If they say something like "It is out of the scope of your responsibility, but if you tell me what your concerns are, I can pass them on to the appropriate people" - then that's a win ...


0

How about: "this looks for me not the best way but I will do because you insist" I realise it's what the OP was, but why do people have to make up all kind of ways to put wording between the lines... Maybe it's cause I'm Dutch, we have the tendency to just say how it is.


0

Given that the lead developer has the higher level vision of how this design would fit into the organization. You could only disagree if the lower level details that you are implementing is causing problems. For example, a design that is error prone and increases your firefighting/support workload. Another example, a design that paint yourself into a ...


2

In agile project management and some other fields, there is the fist of five voting technique. A proposal is put to the group and on a starting cue, all show zero to five fingers. The exact definition of the various votes differs from writer to writer, but zero tends to be "no way" or even "veto" while five is "great, I'll organize it." Somewhere in between,...


107

TL;DR You do not agree or disagree, you fulfill your obligation of informing about the potential problems. Providing the solution is secondary and even optional (it is ok to point out a problem that you do not know how can be solved). The tone is that you do not want to take the decisions, you want to help by informing those who take the decisions. Avoid ...


12

If you think there will be future problems or inefficiency the professional thing to do is cover your back and do your best to make it work. You may have the opportunity to be heard before the decision is made, but once it's made you pull with the team and do it professionally. You cover your back by getting the instructions recorded via email if nothing ...


42

It's ok for you to discuss this with the lead developer and ask why this approach was used over another. Treat this conversation as a learning exercise for you - there might well be reasons that you haven't thought about or considered. Can I ask a question about the approach for doing this project? I thought at first it would be better to do <xyz> ...


2

Depending on your role, you don't. At best, you might ask "have you considering something along the lines of design. I was thinking it might be better because of reasons". Be curious.


1

Fact is that as a contractor or consultant you are the perfect scapegoat. Just don't worry about it. You give your best advice. If it is ignored, then you do what you can, take the money (which should be generous) and the blame, and run. Everyone at the company is happy because they were not blamed, and you should be happy about the payment. That's life.


0

Take what enderland said (it's always possible that you stay). But even if you leave, it's always better for you to leave with a promotion and a higher salary; this can only be useful when you negotiate a new contract with a new company.


0

In my experience, this problem can occur for software projects especially those delivered using Agile or Scrum that don't pay sufficient attention to the Design and Architecture aspect. Here are a few recommendations: Ensure customers understand the importance of laying solid foundations. The analogy I use with people is that "we're just about to start ...


-1

It’s a definite maybe. Try to get the support of your bosses instead of this “connection” in getting this new position. Let them know that it’s something that you’re interested in. Best case is that they will, worst case is they will be royally pissed... which is the same spot they will be in anyway if they don’t hear from you first. Since the new position ...


5

You have a duty of loyalty to your employer. Regardless of benefits provided by your employer and regardless of a non-compete agreement, you likely cannot pursue additional employment that creates conflicts of interest (e.g., creating a choice for a client to hire you or your employer for similar services). I suggest pursuing side hustles that are in a ...


4

After going through my internal connections, I was led to the email address of who would be my future coworker. We both would manage a team of developers. Is it ethical/appropriate to send them an email to connect with the intent of potentially applying for the position? If I could get more information from someone who is in the position I am ...


3

I'm concerned that it's going to look bad if I sign a new contract (even one of indefinite time) and then give them my resignation less than 4 weeks later. If your current company wants to give you a raise, they have business reasons for doing so. With at-will employment (and assuming that's what this is), both employer and employee assume the risk that ...


22

Always act as if you are staying unless you are absolutely confident you will be leaving. There are many reasons something like that might fall through: Company runs out of money/hiring freeze Company can't get you the money for some reason Until you quit, you don't have confidence you won't be at your current employer for years You might have something ...


1

For situations where you have some control over the culture of software development - for example, when you're a team lead, or you're a consultant involved in the planning phases of a project, etc., I think it is quite reasonable for you to impose some formality with regards to the analysis and consideration of "risk". For example, I've always liked doing ...


3

Yes, you may back out of this offer. Having two offers gives you some power. It is good to use that power to advance your personal career. The best way to use that kind of power is subtly. To exaggerate, think "iron fist inside velvet glove." You can be polite without being weak. The wise / subtle thing is to give the first employer a last chance to get ...


3

There are several bias that work against your warnings being heard. First, people are often overly optimistic about their ability to carry change, and put on their blinders when it comes to potential obstacles. Second, depending to the way you communicate, if you often warn people about bad stuff, it's also possible they believe you are being overly cautious....


0

Seems like you already tried most of the common advices, and you are even aware of CYA and that you shouldn't just say bad things about everything all the time. At this point, I'm not sure if there is much more you can do, except realize that humans are not perfect and some will take irrational choices and make mistakes again and again. If you are at the ...


7

Unless you signed a contract with a penalty clause, there is absolutely no reason why you should not back out of an offer. A future application to the company may not be looked upon too favourably, but that's about it for consequences.


11

Can I back out of the first offer without consequences? You can back out of a job offer at any point in time before you start the job. The only consequence may be some hard feelings on the part of the employer. In many locales, you can even quit a job at any time without any repercussions.


1

It depends on the environment you have at work. If your coworkers are just casual acquaintances you happen to see on a daily basis, then I'd say no, for reasons others have stated (bragging, etc). However, if your coworkers are more like friends, where you share personal stories, things about your lives, hang out outside of work, and so on, then I see no ...


7

I too am a software developer. The answerers telling you that "if you're actually a domain expert you should be able to explain it" and quoting Einstein are not actually answering your question. The situation you find yourself in is extremely common. I am fortunate enough to have a ratio of software developers to management of 5:1. The managers have been ...


1

Let's say you're working for Facebook or similar social media before they were popular. But you can't be bothered with promoting the very service you're working on? Either: you really don't care about the service, which is bad enough; or maybe the service is so bad that it's going to be a disaster, that's even worse. I'd say the first case is more ...


1

Talk to HR. Without knowing the specifics of what they're doing or saying, that is the best advice we can actually give. If you are a doing the work as assigned, on-time, and without a drop in quality, then there's likely no reason for them to be treating you this way, and HR could get involved in mediation or corrective behavior for the PM and scrum ...


3

To avoid conflict, you can tell your family said no. This does not even need to be a white lie, you can ask your family (and explain the advantages and disadvantages and tell them that they should not say yes to do you a favour) and probably will get a no.


1

Why not? I see colleagues celebrating happy things in their life with their coworkers all the time. Marriages, children, birthdays … You don’t have to mention how much money the mortgage was. You can simply say that you’ve finally payed back your mortgage and because you feel happy and relieved about being debt free you want to celebrate with a cake. I’m ...


5

Two things you should consider: First, CC'ing to one level above is almost always seen as some kind of escalation. You have to decide, if a training is worth this. Second, there's a high chance that your boss's boss won't intervene, because your manager has the financial responsibility and the big boss doesn't want to undermine your manager's authority. ...


0

Which kind of product do you work for that not even your family wants to use? Maybe you should revisit your morals if you are selling a product to other people that you don't actually love to have at home yourself.


4

That your company keeps asking this despite you saying no repeatedly suggests that they are desperately looking for beta users for the product. I'd suggest saying no again, and explaining why on that basis. Look, the truth is my family members would have no value, maybe negative value, as beta users. They're not our customers - Even if I get them to sign ...


26

I've only experienced this once in a workplace, and it was from someone of a more typical age to pay off a mortgage (about 55 as I recall), but it struck all of us as somewhat unusual. [Edited to add: our culture was also that there are "cakes in the usual place" for birthdays etc. I have been in the workplace (various companies) about 20 years.] In your ...


3

No means no. If they asked you once to involve your family in their company, that was pushing a boundary pretty hard. If they repeatedly won't take "no" for an answer to an unreasonable request, that's preposterous. These people are unprofessional weirdos. If they're this desperate to find anybody to try their service, they're almost certainly doomed in ...


1

A few things I would like to suggest here. Keep an open mind. Often people get lost in minute details and makes mistakes, that are basic. If you are challenging someone else's solution, then be ready to be challenged back. Many times explaining things to someone, sharpens the idea. Concealed talent brings no reputation. If you want to be accepted as an ...


16

When I was a beginner many years ago, there was a situation when I understood something, the PM understood it, but the rest of the team did not. My explanations were not very useful. The discussions only closed temporarily until they opened again on the same topic. I was initially confused by the approach of the PM, but I eventually understood it and ...


0

There are two answers right now: yes and no. So I'm going to be contrarian and say: it depends! How did you raise the money? How fast? If it is luck or something out of your control (lottery, inheritance, bitcoin) then you are celebrating "look at how lucky I am" which is not something to celebrate outside your closest family and friends. If you worked ...


Top 50 recent answers are included