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174 votes

Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ

As an introvert SE, I have my style of doing things and getting things done. Same here. But an introvert isn't a protected class, nor is it a disability, so anywhere you work isn't going to start ...
berry120's user avatar
  • 34.7k
159 votes
Accepted

How to politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network?

If you must decline, I would simply say, "I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to introduce you." If you do know them and simply don't want to open up your network... I'm sorry, but I cant ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
140 votes

Can my UK company order me to join a social event?

I said no because I prefer to work. Your difficulty here is that "work" is what the company defines it to be, not what you define it to be. For this day, they have defined your first ...
Fiora the Ferret's user avatar
133 votes

Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ

Like it or not, social or "soft" skills are more critical than you think. While I absolutely do not subscribe to the idea that a person's thought and behavior can be boiled down to a few letters, ...
goat_fab's user avatar
  • 982
118 votes
Accepted

Problematic employee that can't be fired

If you're dealing with someone that has problems with social interaction and social cues, one thing to do is ask yourself: Do they comply with instructions? The reason I ask that is because... well, ...
Kevin's user avatar
  • 30.1k
90 votes

How can I repair my relationship with management after accidentally getting access to a confidental document?

Good, but too long (IMO). It's typically better to keep this type of thing short and to the point. Tell them that You accessed a document to learn about performance evaluation You realized that this ...
Hilmar's user avatar
  • 123k
78 votes

I'm elitist: how to avoid being detrimental to my team members and value their contribution?

I once lead a team of misfits up from being a disaster to sub-par, to effective and had to fight this attitude the entire time. When I took over this group, our goal was $2000 per week in specific ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
74 votes

Can my UK company order me to join a social event?

I said no because I prefer to work. Yikes, that is some serious career-limiting-move energy. As an associate director I would expect you to be more politically cognizant and realize that you're no ...
MonkeyZeus's user avatar
  • 13.7k
70 votes

Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ

One thing that I like to tell people is that "A diagnosis is not a destiny" For some background, I am autistic, LD, hearing impaired, and have had a lifetime of ill health, so this is not a "toughen ...
Old_Lamplighter's user avatar
69 votes

How can I repair my relationship with management after accidentally getting access to a confidental document?

If your skip skip level manager hasn't contacted you directly, do not send them any messages. There's a reason that they spoke to your manager - delegation. They've passed this on to your manager, so ...
Dancrumb's user avatar
  • 2,853
65 votes
Accepted

Can I give a book as a present to one of my bosses now he is retiring?

I'm not sure if being given books by random employees can be awkward for him Certainly not, I think it's a nice gesture if you want to give them a book, so I doubt it would be awkward or frowned upon....
DarkCygnus's user avatar
  • 83.2k
59 votes

I'm elitist: how to avoid being detrimental to my team members and value their contribution?

If you're only communicating expectations to your team such that meeting them leaves you unsatisfied (but the work "done") then you aren't a good team leader - you're doing the bare minimum. ...
motosubatsu's user avatar
  • 108k
59 votes

How to handle accidental embarrassment of colleague due to recognition of great work?

Today, I got feedback from one developer and their reaction was one of discomfort , rather than appreciation as I would have expected. The person felt I was a little overboard with my recognition and ...
Stephan Branczyk's user avatar
54 votes
Accepted

Boss lied to me about how much others make

This is tough. I don't think confronting your boss is likely to lead to a good outcome. He has already shown he is unwilling/unable to be honest with you, and confronting him with his lie is not ...
user74108's user avatar
  • 266
54 votes

How can I repair my relationship with management after accidentally getting access to a confidental document?

You don't mention your location but from my UK perspective, your message is terribly brown nosing. Sure, you got access to a doc you shouldn't have seen but you don't need to make such a fuss about it....
Philip Kendall's user avatar
53 votes
Accepted

Saying something to a foreign coworker who uses "you people"

As a non native English speaker working in an English speaking company, I’d very much appreciate a comment (in private) when using phrases wrong or phrases that could have connotations that I haven’t ...
g3rv4's user avatar
  • 772
53 votes

Is hugging and handshakes between colleagues in Japan as a form of greeting a faux pas?

As visitors not very familiar with local business norms in Japan, did our side commit a faux pas? Very likely yes, you did with the hugging, it would feel awkward even in Western Europe where I work. ...
L.Dutch's user avatar
  • 13.8k
47 votes

Can I give a book as a present to one of my bosses now he is retiring?

The general rule is that gifts should flow down the organisation chart, and not up it. However, if someone is leaving or retiring, and it's someone who you care about then it's absolutely fine for you ...
Gh0stFish's user avatar
  • 19.3k
41 votes

Boss lied to me about how much others make

What should I do in this situation? Nothing, file the information away under 'experience', you just learnt a valuable lesson, you cannot take people at their word. Part of being an intern is learning ...
Kilisi's user avatar
  • 222k
37 votes
Accepted

Is it appropriate to use email to ask a worker to stop backbiting?

No, you never want to criticize or deliver negative feedback via email. Unless your boss is completely incompetent this is a conversation you need to have with your boss, first. Period. "Hey boss, ...
enderland's user avatar
  • 111k
33 votes

Can my UK company order me to join a social event?

I'm an associate director in this company. The higher up you are in the company hierarchy, the more you are seen as a host of the event. Even if you insist on merely being a guest: you are a role ...
user24582's user avatar
  • 430
33 votes

Is hugging and handshakes between colleagues in Japan as a form of greeting a faux pas?

To play it safely, perhaps, you should go by the phrase 'When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do'. This phrase makes allusion to the relevance of adapting yourself to the customs, traditions, etc., of the ...
Job_September_2020's user avatar
31 votes

How to politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network?

How [do I] politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network? Giving a random stranger direct access to your personal or professional network should feel uncomfortable. The issue ...
zzzzBov's user avatar
  • 1,747
31 votes

Can my UK company order me to join a social event?

They asked everybody if they wanted to join the event. I said no because I prefer to work. Building a rapport with colleagues and management is part of work, whether you like it or not. Whether in ...
Neil Meyer's user avatar
  • 3,065
30 votes

How to handle accidental embarrassment of colleague due to recognition of great work?

I have several diagnosed "conditions", including impostor syndrome. And I can tell you that I really hate being given recognition, because I think that I don't deserve it. I don't give my ...
Doliprane's user avatar
  • 1,112
28 votes

How can I repair my relationship with management after accidentally getting access to a confidental document?

Too long and too much "fluff". Here's what I would suggest: [Skip Level Manager Name or Preferred Salutation], My name is [my name]. I'm a new Senior Software Engineer. My manager is [my ...
joeqwerty's user avatar
  • 47.9k
24 votes

I have a hyper empathetic colleague that I do not get along with that sits accross from me. How do I improve the situation?

It seems that you have the unexpected interpersonal / workplace problem: the one between your colleague and the other colleagues :) And you are uncomfortable, that they have no problem :) I wish he ...
virolino's user avatar
  • 27.1k
24 votes

Can my UK company order me to join a social event?

In conclusion, can a company force/order people to join a social event? The company may or may not share your opinion that this is a just a social event, rather than an important team-building event. ...
Joe Strazzere's user avatar
22 votes

Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ

"We want people to chat, that's our new thing now. This is how are collaborative etc." [...] I expected him to bring this up with the relevant people so these conversations would stop Why did you ...
SZCZERZO KŁY's user avatar

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