157

If you must decline, I would simply say, "I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to introduce you." If you do know them and simply don't want to open up your network... I'm sorry, but I cant think of anyone in my network who would be able to help you. Of course, that is the truth, as once you told anyone of your misgivings, they wouldn't be able to ...


114

If you're dealing with someone that has problems with social interaction and social cues, one thing to do is ask yourself: Do they comply with instructions? The reason I ask that is because... well, some people are just jerks. It's not that they can't understand interpersonal aspects - they simply don't care. However, from the sounds of it, your coworker ...


55

This is tough. I don't think confronting your boss is likely to lead to a good outcome. He has already shown he is unwilling/unable to be honest with you, and confronting him with his lie is not going to make him any more honest. At worst you might lose your position, and my guess is at minimum you well get some new runaround that will be equally if not ...


41

What should I do in this situation? Nothing, file the information away under 'experience', you just learnt a valuable lesson, you cannot take people at their word. Part of being an intern is learning social facts in the workplace as well as your job and how to judge people. Nothing positive will come out of confrontation, so don't do it.


36

No, you never want to criticize or deliver negative feedback via email. Unless your boss is completely incompetent this is a conversation you need to have with your boss, first. Period. "Hey boss, coworker seems to badmouth everything. This is really distracting and demoralizing, do you have any suggestions for what I should do?" Passively aggressively ...


31

How [do I] politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network? Giving a random stranger direct access to your personal or professional network should feel uncomfortable. The issue isn't just that your reputation may be on the line by implicitly supporting this stranger, whom you know nothing about; the issue is also that you've not ...


24

It seems that you have the unexpected interpersonal / workplace problem: the one between your colleague and the other colleagues :) And you are uncomfortable, that they have no problem :) I wish he would either not socialize with coworkers Of course, the first thing that you MUST do is accept things: the social skills of other people are not your concern ...


20

Lots of friends bounce ideas off of each other. If you feel you're being exploited, the best response would be to keep things somewhat ambivalent. Friend: What would you use? ElasticSearch? You: Sure, ElasticSearch could work. Friend: Or redis? Your: Yeah, redis could work there, too. If the friend persists in trying to get your ...


14

You are discriminating against your employee because you think he is autistic (you don't mention that he has been diagnosed with any documented disability, so this just your armchair diagnosis to begin with). As an autist and a manager myself, you have to treat your autistic employee the same as your neurotypical employees. Instead, you appear to be giving ...


11

In your place I would simply say that I respect privacy of my contacts and I'd suggest the person who's asking to use LinkedIn or another website/event. The main concern (moral or even legal) is sharing personal information of your industry contacts.


10

Noise complaints in an office are very common. I'd tread lightly if I were you. If the person is using a mechanical keyboard, and there is a medical reason for it, you can get into trouble quickly. Offices have noise, be they ringing phones, conversations, et cetera. I wear earplugs, and sometimes sunglasses for the light, which makes me uncomfortable. ...


10

would it be acceptable to put a camera while I go to a job interview so I can review myself later? Without asking? Absolutely not. It's never appropriate to video people without asking. (Even if it's legal, it's still not appropriate). You can of course ask, and if they give permission, you can do it. But don't wait with asking until you are in the room ...


9

Disclaimer I deleted my Facebook. This is what LinkedIn is for. Add them on LinkedIn instead of Facebook. In your LinkedIn invite explain that you like to keep your personal social media account separate to your work-life. If they would be offended by you not regarding them as a friend I would say something like I only use Facebook to stay in contact ...


9

You do not want to address this person in mail, the last thing you want to do with a back-biting, double-crossing coworker is to give them a paper trail. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING Before you say so much as "boo" to this person, have a log of all the times she has acted out including what was said, to whom it was said, and when. You want to have an established ...


7

Here's a thought experiment: how would those young juniors treat you if they were scared of you? Would they look down when you approach, move aside in the hallways, scurry away the moment their official reason for talking to you is over? I think they would. https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/683/why-is-a-shy-or-reserved-person-often-perceived-...


6

Trust me I'm a manager and I have received many noise complains including loud speaking on phone, music, phone rings... I would pay attention to that if as manager I find it hurting to team performance, I have even asked staff not to type aggressive on their keyboard! after all I don't know how reasonable is your manager but that would ruin your relationship....


6

If your boss is really comfortable with lying to his people (demonstrating poor social skills), then confronting him with the situation will either produce other lies or righteous indignation, potentially terminating your employment. You have to decide for yourself whether you can put up with the situation and finish your internship (maybe you can re-...


6

Short version: if you don't trust your boss, look for another job. Once you've got other options, then you can decide if it is worth a confrontation, but be aware that the chances of a confrontation being beneficial to you are slim. Many years (and jobs) ago, my manager offered me a promotion with no pay increase until after 90 days in the new position, ...


6

You can ask them what specific aspect of the industry they are interested in, which normally would catch someone who is underprepared. Then tell them the best way to network is to keep on attending industry events, because they're the best way to really understand the industry and the impact you can make in it. Finally apologise and say you don't refer ...


5

This isn't something we can truly answer; we're not your CEO (unless, perhaps one of us actually is!), so we don't know their intentions. However, if you want to go kitesurfing, go kitesurfing. There likely isn't any malicious background to doing this, and besides that, having a good relationship with the CEO is something to be proud of. Keep that ...


5

I discuss data and databases with Australians pretty regularly. Also beta release of software (which I say Bayta and they say Beeta.) And I discuss schedules with English people. I also send emails or write documents that refer to colour, behaviour, and plenty more. And we all figure it out. Where the difference is due to an accent you can totally ignore it....


5

I would talk to your manager about it. It does not sound like a face to face conversation will work with her, in which case email most definitely will not. If she is being this way across different groups, perhaps you are not the first to notice or report her unproductive, negative behavior.


5

would it be acceptable to put a camera while I go to a job interview so I can review myself later? Acceptable is whatever the other party will accept. I suppose it's possible that some potential interviewer would allow a video recorded interview. But I don't know of any hiring manager who could consent to that. Certainly I never would. There is no upside ...


5

This depends on what your exact goal is. Because from this situation arise several goals, some of which conflict or interact with each other. Do you want to minimize rocking the boat and resolve this as quickly and quietly as possible to help the engineer in question not make similar missteps in the future and educate him about not sabotaging himself ...


4

Is a mail (just with her as recipient) appropriate since a normal talk won't work out or should I approach the situation differently? First I have to say that I wouldn't recommend too much on this whole idea of confronting her. Some people just happen to be rude and a PITA all day long; I doubt that one can easily change that kind of people. Secondly, if ...


4

Just ignore it! Lot of people send each-other Facebook friend request without having intentions to be "buddies". That includes your ex-colleagues, and other peoples. Most of the time, they don't remember if they ever sent you a friend request after 1 hour, or if they remember, they don't take it personally. Most people understand you don't want to be ...


4

In the following I assume that you want to help him to improve. Say this explicitly in terms like "Your code is fine but there are things that are unacceptable to others that we need to do something about together as your work is important to us." Peer review all his deliveries. Modern version control tools make this easy. Make it absolutely clear ...


3

Good answers already, I'll hit it from an angle. I'd just refuse unless there was something in it for me. Information and contacts are things you've worked for quite often. No sense giving them away unless you can see an advantage to yourself in it. I wouldn't be rude, but direct 'Sorry, but I don't do that'. Up to them how they want to take it. If ...


3

I have encounterd this many times. Sometime I am fortunate enough to be in an evironment outside my profeission. For example, I was at a social gathering of medical professionals, doctors mostly. When they found out what I did, I immediately got bombarded with questions about how to solve this problem or the other. My response was simply: Thats a ...


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