174
votes
Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ
As an introvert SE, I have my style of doing things and getting things done.
Same here. But an introvert isn't a protected class, nor is it a disability, so anywhere you work isn't going to start ...
- 34.6k
160
votes
Accepted
How to politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network?
If you must decline, I would simply say,
"I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to introduce you."
If you do know them and simply don't want to open up your network...
I'm sorry, but I cant ...
- 159k
140
votes
Can my UK company order me to join a social event?
I said no because I prefer to work.
Your difficulty here is that "work" is what the company defines it to be, not what you define it to be. For this day, they have defined your first ...
- 20.9k
133
votes
Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ
Like it or not, social or "soft" skills are more critical than you think. While I absolutely do not subscribe to the idea that a person's thought and behavior can be boiled down to a few letters, ...
- 982
118
votes
Accepted
Problematic employee that can't be fired
If you're dealing with someone that has problems with social interaction and social cues, one thing to do is ask yourself:
Do they comply with instructions?
The reason I ask that is because... well, ...
- 30.1k
78
votes
I'm elitist: how to avoid being detrimental to my team members and value their contribution?
I once lead a team of misfits up from being a disaster to sub-par, to effective and had to fight this attitude the entire time.
When I took over this group, our goal was $2000 per week in specific ...
- 159k
74
votes
Can my UK company order me to join a social event?
I said no because I prefer to work.
Yikes, that is some serious career-limiting-move energy.
As an associate director I would expect you to be more politically cognizant and realize that you're no ...
- 12.9k
70
votes
Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ
One thing that I like to tell people is that "A diagnosis is not a destiny"
For some background, I am autistic, LD, hearing impaired, and have had a lifetime of ill health, so this is not a "toughen ...
- 159k
66
votes
Accepted
Can I give a book as a present to one of my bosses now he is retiring?
I'm not sure if being given books by random employees can be awkward for him
Certainly not, I think it's a nice gesture if you want to give them a book, so I doubt it would be awkward or frowned upon....
- 81k
60
votes
How to handle accidental embarrassment of colleague due to recognition of great work?
Today, I got feedback from one developer and their reaction was one of discomfort , rather than appreciation as I would have expected. The person felt I was a little overboard with my recognition and ...
- 57.4k
59
votes
I'm elitist: how to avoid being detrimental to my team members and value their contribution?
If you're only communicating expectations to your team such that meeting them leaves you unsatisfied (but the work "done") then you aren't a good team leader - you're doing the bare minimum. ...
- 106k
55
votes
Accepted
Boss lied to me about how much others make
This is tough.
I don't think confronting your boss is likely to lead to a good outcome. He has already shown he is unwilling/unable to be honest with you, and confronting him with his lie is not ...
- 266
53
votes
Accepted
Saying something to a foreign coworker who uses "you people"
As a non native English speaker working in an English speaking company, I’d very much appreciate a comment (in private) when using phrases wrong or phrases that could have connotations that I haven’t ...
- 772
53
votes
Is hugging and handshakes between colleagues in Japan as a form of greeting a faux pas?
As visitors not very familiar with local business norms in Japan, did our side commit a faux pas?
Very likely yes, you did with the hugging, it would feel awkward even in Western Europe where I work. ...
- 13.5k
48
votes
Can I give a book as a present to one of my bosses now he is retiring?
The general rule is that gifts should flow down the organisation chart, and not up it. However, if someone is leaving or retiring, and it's someone who you care about then it's absolutely fine for you ...
- 15.8k
41
votes
Boss lied to me about how much others make
What should I do in this situation?
Nothing, file the information away under 'experience', you just learnt a valuable lesson, you cannot take people at their word. Part of being an intern is learning ...
- 214k
37
votes
Accepted
Is it appropriate to use email to ask a worker to stop backbiting?
No, you never want to criticize or deliver negative feedback via email.
Unless your boss is completely incompetent this is a conversation you need to have with your boss, first. Period. "Hey boss, ...
- 111k
33
votes
Can my UK company order me to join a social event?
I'm an associate director in this company.
The higher up you are in the company hierarchy, the more you are seen as a host of the event.
Even if you insist on merely being a guest: you are a role ...
- 430
33
votes
Is hugging and handshakes between colleagues in Japan as a form of greeting a faux pas?
To play it safely, perhaps, you should go by the phrase 'When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do'. This phrase makes allusion to the relevance of adapting yourself to the customs, traditions, etc., of the ...
- 18.1k
31
votes
How to politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network?
How [do I] politely refuse to put someone in touch with my professional network?
Giving a random stranger direct access to your personal or professional network should feel uncomfortable.
The issue ...
- 1,737
31
votes
How to handle accidental embarrassment of colleague due to recognition of great work?
I have several diagnosed "conditions", including impostor syndrome. And I can tell you that I really hate being given recognition, because I think that I don't deserve it. I don't give my ...
- 1,132
31
votes
Can my UK company order me to join a social event?
They asked everybody if they wanted to join the event. I said no
because I prefer to work.
Building a rapport with colleagues and management is part of work, whether you like it or not. Whether in ...
- 2,972
24
votes
I have a hyper empathetic colleague that I do not get along with that sits accross from me. How do I improve the situation?
It seems that you have the unexpected interpersonal / workplace problem: the one between your colleague and the other colleagues :) And you are uncomfortable, that they have no problem :)
I wish he ...
- 26.9k
24
votes
Can my UK company order me to join a social event?
In conclusion, can a company force/order people to join a social
event?
The company may or may not share your opinion that this is a just a social event, rather than an important team-building event. ...
- 376k
22
votes
Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ
"We want people to chat, that's our new thing now. This is how are collaborative etc." [...] I expected him to bring this up with the relevant people so these conversations would stop
Why did you ...
- 15.3k
22
votes
Is hugging and handshakes between colleagues in Japan as a form of greeting a faux pas?
The faux pas has nothing to do with Japan per se. Any time you go to another culture even a local one you're not familiar with you should check on basic greeting and politeness customs.
Your faux pas ...
- 214k
21
votes
Accepted
How to handle poor social behaviour to a old senior from a colleague?
Why don't lead by example instead of trying to "teach"?
As you mentioned, Jake is junior and still learning things, (maybe both professionally and personally).
Next time you see the senior ...
- 69k
20
votes
How to handle ex-client asking for free advice in social situations?
Lots of friends bounce ideas off of each other. If you feel you're being exploited, the best response would be to keep things somewhat ambivalent.
Friend: What would you use? ElasticSearch?
...
- 22.2k
20
votes
Company indirectly discriminating against introverts, specifically INTJ
Regarding needing quiet time: Whenever you have a problem, stating "solving my problem requires me to do nothing and everyone around me to change" never works. Never ever, not even a little. So you ...
- 45.5k
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible