485

Unless you actually have a medical condition (e.g. anxiety) which would mean that going to the event is going to be a serious problem for you, just go. If the company chooses to pay you to go to an event, that's their choice. As I've frequently said: you don't get to choose what to do at work, your employer does. Basically, work out if this is the hill you ...


177

Yes they are. You are to report to work as normal. If your work today consists of a Christmas party than so be it. The reason you need to take holiday time is because This is a team building exercise It's not a day off This is quite common and they are allowed to do it. I would just be happy your employer cares enough to give everyone a paid day of no ...


141

Should I invite a teammate I don't like to my personal function? No, do not invite the creepy dude to ruin your baby shower, it's a personal function. The last thing you need is your partner or one of your outside of work friends noticing him gazing at you. This could lead to some uncomfortable questions, or worse, situations causing you and your partner ...


139

How can an introverted non confrontational individual make this stop? It will stop when you stop reacting to their teasing. Never let jealous, ignorant coworkers (or anyone else) bother you when they lack your knowledge. Be proud of what you know. Clearly, it helped your manager.


133

It doesn't need to be accusatory or confrontational. If your co-workers are not truly over-grown teenagers, you might try something like this: Hi folks, I know that everyone is just kidding around and means nothing by it, but the constant Russian jokes have really grown old. I am politely asking that we please give the jokes a break. Thank you. For ...


132

To me, there are two reasons to object to a publication being in the office. One is that I might feel upset or disgusted if I catch sight of a headline. Since newspapers are often displayed outside in public in the UK, this is probably not an "extra" risk. The other is the effect of that material on my co-workers. In the 70s, pinup calendars were present in ...


131

I know this sounds strange, but ask for something that costs money. Perrier, sparkling water, club soda, whatever it's called where you live, with a lime wedge. Part of the reason people are offering other options to you is that water is free. It also looks less like what they're drinking, and more like something you can have at home any time. So choose ...


127

"Jim" was probably very nervous about the interview, and prepared answers for all the usual questions. It looks like you really got him off guard. If he's on a par with the other interviewees, I'd get him back in for a second interview and see how he performs then. If he doesn't have to meet clients regularly, I wouldn't call it an issue that he isn't ...


126

You can just tell your coworkers what you said here. Of course, most people don't like feeling like as people they don't matter, so there's significant risk associated with this that cannot really be removed, because no matter how you phrase it, people don't like being rejected and ignored socially. In other words, I don't care about "company culture" I ...


114

When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then. Did you actually tell them this? If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can ...


108

Friendly neighborhood autist here, so I know how nightmarish "We just go with the flow" can sound. First change your approach slightly. Where are we going? change that to: "Do they have a venue picked out yet?" How many people are going? Change to: "Who usually goes?" When will it start? For this one, ask someone who you get along with: "How ...


78

The company has no business being interested in what you do in your spare time. As long as you keep this outside of work hours, there isn't really much they can do to stop you. However in the interests of not appearing to be in open rebellion against the company you should probably keep this relatively discreet, by which I mean don't put up posters ...


75

I'm going to be answering this from a different angle. A lot of times when these types of events happen during the workday they are coupled with some talks given by the higher-ups. They might be congratulating the team on a good year, giving out awards, or talking about the plans for the future. It's not clear from your question, but it could be that this ...


66

HR wouldn't be inappropriate to go to, but it wouldn't be advisable on a personal level. This is your dream job. Don't rock the boat. On principle, I think you should just go to the boss and ask for your money back. If he refuses, just calmly walk away. You gave him the chance to make things right. He didn't take it. Don't accuse him of cheating, just say ...


64

I've encountered this in past. I think the spirit of the entertaining and hosting is what matters, not what you're drinking. A good idea would be to invite them to a social venue that has drinks but also food. Offer them drinks if they want, but get yourself a soft drink, "club soda with lime", or some other non-alcoholic drink. You could get water, but ...


64

Keep in mind the attitude of the poster on the question you mention. In that case, the person asking doesn't want to be friends with the other guy. There's absolutely no problem in being good friends with coworkers - particularly if you are of a similar rank in the company. However, like any friendship, it must be mutual. I'm not saying that your ...


61

I bet this Newspaper is there, because someone wanted it there. That may be request from employees, a manager or someone from the committee themselves. Whoever it is, you are going to piss him off, if you go against this. As much as I can relate to your cause, I would recommend to just let it go. You can not win much by getting it cancelled - stupid people ...


60

I usually leave them alone with their grief. The first time they come back from taking time off, the first thing I say is "I am sorry for your loss. If there is anything I or anyone of us can do to make things easier for you, let me know" Then it's back to the work both for them and for me - the idea is to give them some kind of healing through the routine ...


52

Just tell her to put some clothes on, I'm assuming you're both female. Or turn your back and talk. There's nothing wrong with not looking. I've never had exactly the same situation, and I'm male anyway, but in a similar situation I just told the guy in a joking manner. "You going to put some pants on mate? Or are we going to have a sword fight?" It's ...


51

It sounds like the primary purpose is social (and you're interested in that) and the food is secondary -- but it's an important secondary to them. So it's best to find some way to fit into the outing, lest you be excluded in other ways. As somebody with dietary restrictions I sometimes can't find much (or any) food I can eat on a menu. If I know about ...


47

First, you are allowed to decide if you attend a party or not. If you don't want to you don't have to. We understand your feeling you don't want to celebrate a sad event. Since you are the reason for the event make sure you give plenty of notice if you really don't want to be there. However you might consider that your colleagues don't want to celebrate ...


46

Some shops are very aggressive with their proxy servers, using it to ban everything they deem "not work". If they spend enough time with it, they can reasonably effectively lock down their employees' computers. It's not perfect, but it can send a powerful message to employees: we are watching, and we don't want you to ever do anything on our computers that ...


43

Don't discuss personal, controversial issues at work. You're there primarily to work and the last thing you want to do is offend anyone, and certainly not your boss. Always steer clear of religion and politics. If your coworkers are discussing it, stay out of the discussion. If someone attempts to force you into the conversation, you can avoid adding ...


43

I've been in this situation, and if I had to attend I'd just find some quiet side/corner to eat, read, then see if I could head out early. Free food is always handy anyway. But there is always another option, one that won't make you look bad by skipping off during work hours, and might actually give bonus points. One year the Christmas party was coming up,...


41

I'm afraid that yes, you are being unreasonable. a) Quick question - have you ever actually read the Daily Mail? Do you read it regularly, or do you just believe what you read about the Daily Mail in papers like the Guardian? It sounds like you believe all the negative things you've heard about this paper, without ever actually reading it yourself. As ...


41

Any activity that you have to pay for, or takes place outside of normal work hours is by definition optional. When it falls into both categories, the organizers should realize the many will decide not to go. In your question you give two valid reasons: It is out of your budget, and your ill Mom takes up your free time. Don't talk about being forced to ...


40

I think you are overthinking this. "Simon, my boss" is fine. If you dislike "boss" you can try "manager" instead. If you use "CTO" be prepared to explain what that means to people unfamiliar with the term and then you might have an awkward conversation. "Boss" doesn't have a negative connotation to most people. But if you are really worried about this, why ...


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