What I thought was harmless fun ended up showing me his true colors.
I would think very hard about whether this really showed his true colors.
You tracked him down/stalked him.
Singled him out to destroy his fun
When you are fresh out of college you may not know this, but spare time is valuable when you have a job. It's no longer this always available ...
Full disclosure: I am autistic (Asperger's syndrome) and I have fought hard not to be the guy you are describing.
BE BLUNT, BE DIRECT, BE FACTUAL, STAY ON POINT
We have a great deal of difficulty understanding why something that is true (or something we see as true) would cause offense, so trying to make a "how would you feel if..." style argument would ...
Honestly in my opinion if he's not behaving that way at work, it's none of your (or HR's) business. I think it's as simple as that.
Lots of people will curse and shout at home, but at work they put on their professional hat. Unless they're publicly and visibly representing a company there's no problem there.
If you want to be quiet, start describing your problem as a question on stackoverflow. There were numerous times where I started writing a question and found the solution while explaining the problem.
You could also start to write the documentation of your code even before it is finished. I had various moments where I wrote the documentation of some code I ...
I offered to let her borrow my blow up mattress until she could buy
MY boss caught wind of our exchange and told me it was innapropriate
to offer outside help because we are the bosses and she is an
employee. That's it. As if the conversation should have ended with me
saying, "oh sorry, that sucks. Good luck."
Do you think what I did ...
Your former employer most likely used you to settle a possible court case with the person that rented the apartment. They probably did it without telling you and they probably made you sign an NDA agreeing to never disclose the details of the affair. That NDA might be illegal (or you're breaking it by telling us about your situation). I would cease all ...
In the IT world, this is pretty much accepted so long as you aren't interrupting someone else (which is the point of using the duck or teddy bear or whatever in the first place).
I've set it up in some work places I've been at which didn't already have it, and it became accepted and normal almost overnight.
If you are still worried about looking like an ...
He has always been a dependable employee
So, you started with a good man, now what happened.
but since being overlooked for a promotion to principal engineer.
Your company screwed him....
(which would have been a large pay increase)
AND you hit him in the paycheck
Let's stop here for a moment. Your company disrespected a key ...
My usual answer is, "I don't ever disclose my current compensation package, but I can tell you that I need a total compensation figure of $###,000.00 to leave my current role." That statement ends the conversation more often than not (which is what it is supposed to do). If they balk at my requirement, what's the point of continuing talks? Only serious ...
Professionally, I'm a sysadmin. The bane of my life is users who won't take security seriously, those who treat it as a joke, as your colleague does. Many years ago, I used to have an Oracle DBA who took pride in having a one-character password on all the systems he had access to - and on the Oracle account, to boot. It made me weep tears of blood, trying ...
I think you made your own bed, here.
You passed up the ONLY qualified candidate (so far as you have said) for a "Boss's Nephew." You (collective, as in the whole company) need to either go to him, hat-in-hand, and make this right, or pay whatever you need to in order to get a qualified replacement.
I know how hard those qualifications are to come by. I ...
We can not tell you what you did wrong (that sounds odd to me too), but your HR person has given you the hook you need by claiming that the employee handbook forbids it. This means you can (politely) ask the HR person to point out the relevant policy, so you can review it and make sure you understand it.
If you'd thought of this during the meeting you could ...
I don't think laughing it off is the proper approach. They need to learn that they are not in school anymore. That being said, I don't think you should take it too far the other way either.
I would recommend that you be firm with him/her and say something to the effect of:
The reason we went over naming conventions is because they are very
Yes you are in danger.
However, anything your manager does (like printing a new letter over the signature) is fraud, and quite the bad variety too.
As she was doing what she was doing in the capacity of your manager, this is now the problem of your school/company/district or whatever the organisation is where you work.
HR is not your friend but in this ...
Leave the duck at home, put on a phone headset and talk to the duck's voicemail.
Fellow software engineers will understand what you're doing, sales or HR people will think you're on the phone (which you will truly be) and won't be weirded out.
Except in cases of immediate physical danger, it is never acceptable to yell in the workplace. End of discussion.
To answer your secondary questions:
Is it somehow normal?
Not in any company I've ever worked in. Unfortunately, it seems to be "normal" in your workplace, which is going to make it very hard to deal with.
Is there some sensible action ...
Start looking for a new job. As soon as you have found one, put in your notice and get out as fast as possible. It is very unlikely that these people will change anytime soon, and you certainly don't want to work with them until they do.
Your actual question was "how could I keep my job being at the same time honest?". You could, by just trying to avoid ...
Most likely the hiring manager told HR to bring you on board and considered the matter closed. The HR rep then got your information and approached the situation using his standard approach, which is to try and get you on board for as little money as possible.
What I would do is get in touch with the hiring manager and explain the situation. Say that you ...
After graduating I had about 15 interviews at different companies. I was prepared for all of them: I knew the way, I knew what message I wanted to convey.
I still ended up getting lost awfully while going to one interview. It was a short, easy way, so I've no idea how this could have happened. I called them to excuse the delay telling them I would be there ...
My opinion is you should start getting less excited about this new job.
Several red flags:
Lack of an on site interview
A murky breakfast that is really a meeting
A reprimand for your performance when you are not even working there
You did not meet his expectations? - he did not define expectations
It is not reasonable for him to have ...
The incident you described is unethical, unprofessional, abusive and borderline harassment. Irrespective of the facts about the efficiency, technical capability, time management etc or that person's "importance" in the organization (or whatever you are assuming by saying "greater asset").- this is about work ethics.
Time to have a talk with HR, without any ...
I would personally use both her first and her last name, and do the same for everyone else in the raffle. While not bigoted per se, refusing to treat all entrants the same is a problem in the workplace. That her name resembles an offensive word in English should not be a serious consideration in any case, as (hopefully) persons in your business (be they ...
This might be a good reason to consider remote work - that way you won't have to deal with other people working beside you.
You say you don't want to appear to be the person who "causes problems", but that's exactly what you are. Really, you should work on your ability to tolerate other people living around you in a workspace.