837

What I thought was harmless fun ended up showing me his true colors. I would think very hard about whether this really showed his true colors. You tracked him down/stalked him. Singled him out to destroy his fun When you are fresh out of college you may not know this, but spare time is valuable when you have a job. It's no longer this always available ...


439

Full disclosure: I am autistic (Asperger's syndrome) and I have fought hard not to be the guy you are describing. BE BLUNT, BE DIRECT, BE FACTUAL, STAY ON POINT We have a great deal of difficulty understanding why something that is true (or something we see as true) would cause offense, so trying to make a "how would you feel if..." style argument would ...


432

You just ignore that sort of thing and eventually your colleague goes to bug someone else. Don't feed him and don't let it impact your morale; it's not important.


424

Honestly in my opinion if he's not behaving that way at work, it's none of your (or HR's) business. I think it's as simple as that. Lots of people will curse and shout at home, but at work they put on their professional hat. Unless they're publicly and visibly representing a company there's no problem there.


412

As a gamer of more than 20 years, your behavior is abhorrent, and a shining example of what types of behaviors toxic people/players exhibit; the type that should be purged from the community. tl;dr No, you should not bring this to HR. You should not bring this to anybody. Why: You didn't mention whether or not the name or logo of the company was ...


404

If you want to be quiet, start describing your problem as a question on stackoverflow. There were numerous times where I started writing a question and found the solution while explaining the problem. You could also start to write the documentation of your code even before it is finished. I had various moments where I wrote the documentation of some code I ...


377

There is no ethical dilemna here. The simple fact that experience allows you do something more efficiently has nothing to do with ethics.


361

I offered to let her borrow my blow up mattress until she could buy one. MY boss caught wind of our exchange and told me it was innapropriate to offer outside help because we are the bosses and she is an employee. That's it. As if the conversation should have ended with me saying, "oh sorry, that sucks. Good luck." Do you think what I did ...


352

Your former employer most likely used you to settle a possible court case with the person that rented the apartment. They probably did it without telling you and they probably made you sign an NDA agreeing to never disclose the details of the affair. That NDA might be illegal (or you're breaking it by telling us about your situation). I would cease all ...


323

In the IT world, this is pretty much accepted so long as you aren't interrupting someone else (which is the point of using the duck or teddy bear or whatever in the first place). I've set it up in some work places I've been at which didn't already have it, and it became accepted and normal almost overnight. If you are still worried about looking like an ...


302

Professionally, I'm a sysadmin. The bane of my life is users who won't take security seriously, those who treat it as a joke, as your colleague does. Many years ago, I used to have an Oracle DBA who took pride in having a one-character password on all the systems he had access to - and on the Oracle account, to boot. It made me weep tears of blood, trying ...


290

Don't counter. Ignore it, it is irrelevant. "You are the first one to complain about that." "OK. How are we going to solve it?" It is not important that you are the first one to complain. If you engage in the meta-discussion about the complaint (such as if you are the first one to make a complaint), the real discussion about the complaint itself will not ...


283

We can not tell you what you did wrong (that sounds odd to me too), but your HR person has given you the hook you need by claiming that the employee handbook forbids it. This means you can (politely) ask the HR person to point out the relevant policy, so you can review it and make sure you understand it. If you'd thought of this during the meeting you ...


279

I don't think laughing it off is the proper approach. They need to learn that they are not in school anymore. That being said, I don't think you should take it too far the other way either. I would recommend that you be firm with him/her and say something to the effect of: The reason we went over naming conventions is because they are very important. ...


273

Yes you are in danger. However, anything your manager does (like printing a new letter over the signature) is fraud, and quite the bad variety too. As she was doing what she was doing in the capacity of your manager, this is now the problem of your school/company/district or whatever the organisation is where you work. HR is not your friend but in this ...


251

Except in cases of immediate physical danger, it is never acceptable to yell in the workplace. End of discussion. To answer your secondary questions: Is it somehow normal? Not in any company I've ever worked in. Unfortunately, it seems to be "normal" in your workplace, which is going to make it very hard to deal with. Is there some sensible action ...


250

Leave the duck at home, put on a phone headset and talk to the duck's voicemail. Fellow software engineers will understand what you're doing, sales or HR people will think you're on the phone (which you will truly be) and won't be weirded out.


245

I think you made your own bed, here. You passed up the ONLY qualified candidate (so far as you have said) for a "Boss's Nephew." You (collective, as in the whole company) need to either go to him, hat-in-hand, and make this right, or pay whatever you need to in order to get a qualified replacement. I know how hard those qualifications are to come by. I ...


244

Start looking for a new job. As soon as you have found one, put in your notice and get out as fast as possible. It is very unlikely that these people will change anytime soon, and you certainly don't want to work with them until they do. Your actual question was "how could I keep my job being at the same time honest?". You could, by just trying to avoid ...


239

Most likely the hiring manager told HR to bring you on board and considered the matter closed. The HR rep then got your information and approached the situation using his standard approach, which is to try and get you on board for as little money as possible. What I would do is get in touch with the hiring manager and explain the situation. Say that you ...


237

After graduating I had about 15 interviews at different companies. I was prepared for all of them: I knew the way, I knew what message I wanted to convey. I still ended up getting lost awfully while going to one interview. It was a short, easy way, so I've no idea how this could have happened. I called them to excuse the delay telling them I would be there ...


235

My opinion is you should start getting less excited about this new job. Several red flags: Lack of an on site interview A murky breakfast that is really a meeting A reprimand for your performance when you are not even working there yet You did not meet his expectations? - he did not define expectations It is not reasonable for him to have ...


234

If you want to report this behaviour, then use the in-game/platform abuse reporting tools and leave it at that. Separate this incident from the workplace and do whatever you would do if you saw this guy online and didn't know him: Report and block/ignore Taking this into the workplace will only create ongoing problems in real life. Unless this guy ...


227

Key points: He has always been a dependable employee So, you started with a good man, now what happened. but since being overlooked for a promotion to principal engineer. Your company screwed him.... (which would have been a large pay increase) AND you hit him in the paycheck Let's stop here for a moment. Your company disrespected a key ...


226

The incident you described is unethical, unprofessional, abusive and borderline harassment. Irrespective of the facts about the efficiency, technical capability, time management etc or that person's "importance" in the organization (or whatever you are assuming by saying "greater asset").- this is about work ethics. Time to have a talk with HR, without any ...


222

I would personally use both her first and her last name, and do the same for everyone else in the raffle. While not bigoted per se, refusing to treat all entrants the same is a problem in the workplace. That her name resembles an offensive word in English should not be a serious consideration in any case, as (hopefully) persons in your business (be they ...


221

This might be a good reason to consider remote work - that way you won't have to deal with other people working beside you. You say you don't want to appear to be the person who "causes problems", but that's exactly what you are. Really, you should work on your ability to tolerate other people living around you in a workspace.


210

Speak to HR immediately, you signed a blank piece of paper - make sure it stays blank Normally advice around speaking to HR is "HR are not your friend". However, this is in the context of bringing up general workplace greivances - as HR's remit is to protect the company, not the employees. In this case, you have a manager who plans to break the law - by ...


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