"today I learned it comes with 24/7/365 on-call to monitor mission
critical systems. The first time I fail to fix it within 20 minutes, I
will be fired"
Then you have really nothing to lose. That's an absolutely ridiculous and outlandish requirement. No sleep, no vacation, no beer after work, no private life?
Go back to your supervisor and tell them ...
I would focus on her productivity, not her individual actions.
If her productivity is reasonable, then let it go. It's her process of getting more done at other times.
If her productivity is low, whether you think it is a result of her chatting or not, address that directly. Have a talk with her about her lower than expected productivity, what is holding ...
When your manager asks you to perform a task and you don't have time to do both that task and everything else you've committed to, tell him that. You can inform him of your workload and still be respectful. Try something like, "Sure boss, I'd love to do X, but I've already committed to do Y and Z, and I don't have time to do all three. Which tasks should I ...
Let's look at this from a different angle. The laws of the land would classify this time away from your desk as not only lunch, but a lunch BREAK. And a break, by definition, means a separation of joined parts. During your break, this means that you, and only you, direct what you do and you have no obligation to justify what that is.
Your team leader has ...
Simple answer - Move Out
Move out. If you don't want to deal with your parents treating you like a child, you might have to move out to make this happen. It sounds like you have been working FT for several years, too, so are likely old enough this could happen.
If you can't afford it currently start saving money like mad to be able to as soon as possible.
What the hell do I do now? I feel like I just got bait and switched
and I want to go back to my old position.
If that's the case, you should ask for a one-on-one meeting with your manager and express your feelings about going back to your old position. Make sure you first confirm that the flippant remarks you overheard were a real change and not just odd ...
You can make an impact programming and learning outside of your paid work.
There are many open source projects out there that are looking for talented individuals to help out.
Find something that resonates with you - something you believe in. Possibly something that you will learn from (a different language, framework or area of programming than in your ...
Should I do anything further (if so how) in terms of bringing this up
to management, project manager, etc?
They've already paid you in terms of your "expenses" and given you extra time off, so I'd think there's no point other than to vent anger (which is a bad idea).
How can I approach booking any future time off given that this could
happen again? ...
If I understand your question properly, this comes down to a matter of Fairness and Responsibility.
"Everyone should work the same hours otherwise it isn't fair."
By saying this, you are basing your happiness and satisfaction upon the actions of others. Bad news: you will never be happy or satisfied.
Someone wiser than me once told me to look ...
You can just tell your coworkers what you said here.
Of course, most people don't like feeling like as people they don't matter, so there's significant risk associated with this that cannot really be removed, because no matter how you phrase it, people don't like being rejected and ignored socially.
In other words, I don't care about "company culture"
You are entitled to take your holidays, so the issue is with coming to an acceptable timeframe for your holidays.
If the manager will not give you time off, try asking him to provide you with dates where he will approve days off.
If this doesn't lead to an acceptable answer, try asking for money in lieu of leave. Odds are that this won't be accepted, but ...
Buildings where people sleep have different laws than buildings where people work. Buildings where many people sleep, while these people don't live there (most of these are called hotels), again have a different set of laws. This introduces unknown consequences if laws are accidentally broken and can make it significantly more expensive or even ...
When they said they valued get-togethers and game nights I expected the occasional friday afternoon gathering or a game night every now and then.
Did you actually tell them this?
If you decline, you will also get an email or possibly even a phonecall to tell you how sad it is you're not joining, trying to dig up what your reason is in hopes they can ...
My project is related to previous projects (that are resolved), that have many bugs and I fix them along with my project.
Stop paying their debt. When you encounter a bug, write it up. If it doesn't block your work, move on. If it does, ask management for approval to fix.
This does two things.
First, management sees your timeline expand because you are ...
I think there are already answers covering many aspects, but if you're looking for a good response to this emotional manipulation, you could maybe say something like that:
If I am not rested, I cannot work focused, more errors sneak in, and that is irresponsible!
So I take responsibility, go home and try to sleep well!
How do I determine whether the stress is caused by my job, or
something else particular to me?
I am not a doctor, but based on what little I can glean from this post, your work is not causing you undue stress.
I would suggest you try one or all of the following:
Unplug from work outside of working hours. Don't answer or even look at emails after ...
This is one of those times when Gordon England's classic question would have been really useful.
When they sprang the 24/7/365/"20 minutes"/"no backup personnel" story on you, you could have had a lot of fun by sitting silent for about five seconds, then asking "What will you do if I'm in the hospital?", and then SHUTTING UP.
As it stands, I recommend, in ...
Personally I find the whole notion of bringing the family in to the office for a visit deeply weird. I mean having them drop by for a specific purpose (such as meeting for lunch, or dropping something off to you) I get but specifically visiting the work place and having a tour? Sorry I just don't get that at all. I think most people understand that some ...
My wife has a mass in her lung. It's likely cancer.
First of all, I'm sorry about your mom. You're going to continue to be a mess.
You need to tell your boss. It's not a matter of whether it's professional or not. You've got a serious personal issue that you have to deal with and whether it directly impacts your boss or not, it does so indirectly.
I see no problem if your wife and kids comes in once in a while and you show them around.
You need to be certain that it does not disrupt your work and and your colleagues' work.
You can tell your wife/kids to come in just before lunch so you can go out and have lunch with them, or they can come in just before the end of the day so you can leave together.
How could i resolve this without any damage to both sides?
You have been told that girlfriends are not invited to these events, so even if it's a really pretty place, and even if your girlfriend likes it a lot, stop asking if she can come along to this company event - you've already gotten your answer.
Instead, bring your girlfriend on your own time - ...
I think I would have simply responded that:
By allowing them the freedom to use the exercise facilities when they need to, we encourage staff to find positive outlets for their stress – if they have had a tough morning or a long meeting, a workout before they go back to other duties helps them to mentally reset. There’s a good article in Forbes on this.
Is what I'm doing ethical?
(I'll purposely define ethics/morals loosely and interchangeably here, since that is the sense of what I read in your question. As others point out, the terms don't have the same textbook definition. But in casual conversations, it's not necessary to be so strict with the terms.)
Personal Ethics are always individual and ...
The problem with this approach is that the new employee doesn't know your organisation and doesn't know that the first 90 days are considered "special" by you.
What would you think if you started a new job and your workload was so big that it required you to work 11h/day?
Personally, I would think the organisation doesn't know what work-life balance is, ...
It sounds like there are two problems here:
There is little or no prioritization of work
Your coworker (and you) have the mistaken idea that working long hours is more productive.
the tasks he is working on don't need immediate attention.
Steven Covey calls this the "not urgent but important" or even "not urgent and not important". ...
Should I state work-life balance needs in a cover letter?
Short answer NO
Your objective is to get a job, and the people who are looking to hire typically are searching for ways to thin out the amount of candidates that they speak with. By mentioning such a need this early in the game, in my experience as a hiring manager, you are hurting yourself.
My honest advice is to talk to a professional psychologist about it. You show early signs of burnout and anxiety disorder. It could be caused by your work or by something entirely different, but we won't be able to tell you what it is.
The sooner you start treatment, the better your chances are to recover completely.
Taking a break (be it 10 minutes or 10 ...
First thing I'll say is, don't be in a rush to quit your job.
A lot of people on this stack are inclined to respond to almost any major issue by saying that you should start looking for a new position. It may happen that you wind up forced into that, but you have other options to explore first.
As others have noted, you should have a discussion with your ...