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How can I ask my boss to stop constantly "outing" me at work?
151 votes

You need to tell your boss in no uncertain terms that she should not be outing you. Try something like: I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention my sexual orientation to other people. It's a ...

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How do big development teams learn from their mistakes?
103 votes

The moment people realize that there is blame being handed out they will obfuscate and hide their mistakes as best they can, scapegoating others and generally making it impossible to learn anything ...

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How to handle (one's own) old self-harm scars (on the arm), in a work environment?
23 votes

One trick I've used is to wear a very light long sleeve top, made of thin cotton or synthetic. It can be semi-transparent and allow plenty of air flow. I found that just wearing it signalled to ...

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How can I handle 'no promotion this year' in a performance review?
18 votes

With COVID a lot of companies are looking to avoid increases and promotions this year and will use it as an excuse. You should be reasonably understanding that with the uncertainty it is hard to make ...

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Motivate coworkers to use strong passwords
18 votes

A demonstration may be the most effective technique. Try suggesting they test their passwords against this database of stolen passwords: https://haveibeenpwned.com/Passwords They can also check their ...

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Should I tell my employer I have ADD?
17 votes

At the performance review put a positive spin on this. You had a problem, you got it diagnosed and are fixing it. You expect things to improve due to the treatment and have ideas for changes you could ...

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What should I do when I am demotivated by unprofessionalism that has affected me personally at the workplace?
14 votes

Try not to be so invested in your work. Work is a lot like a relationship, you can get a lot out of it but you must risk being let down by the other party. In this case work let you down but you don't ...

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My manager (with a history of reneging on bonuses) is offering a future bonus to make me stay. How can I make sure I'll actually get it?
13 votes

Tell your boss that you require payment of past bonuses first. If they pay then leave anyway, the chances of them honouring the salary increase and future bonuses is too low. Just be sure to phrase it ...

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My current job follows "worst practices". How can I talk about my experience in an interview without giving off red flags?
12 votes

I have been in this situation and framed it as me having suggested many better practices but not having been allowed to implement them, which is part of the reason why I want to move on. That ...

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Deeply specific, undocumented framework
11 votes

Unfortunately this is quite common. There are some things you can do to help. Firstly I suggest keeping a journal of questions you have. Often just writing out the questions will help you find the ...

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Employees quitting soon after being denied promotion/raise
10 votes

@Kayndarr's answer is good but misses an important category of people: People who have noticed that their pay is below market rate. All they have to do is check some job sites to see that they are ...

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My colleague is constantly blaming me for his errors
10 votes

One option is to bring up the last few incidents when he blames you the next time. Say something like "Are you sure it's my code? The last few times you said that, it turned out to be your bug. ...

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I got fired on my last day; is that possible?
9 votes

I shouldn't worry too much about it. At 17 it's not going to affect your career and there is no way other employers will find out unless you tell them. What is more concerning is the sexual comments ...

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Bad performance review despite objective successes and praises
9 votes

Let's just review. The company was in chaos when you arrived. The company doesn't seem to recognize good work or effort. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do except move on. Trying to raise this ...

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Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
9 votes

Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at ...

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How should I approach my boss about working from home while pregnant?
9 votes

As you are in Ireland you are covered by EU protections for pregnant employees. The relevant directive is Directive 92/85/EEC. A more readable summary is available. In particular, your employer is ...

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Job offers - how to negotiate higher salary due to higher costs of living at the new location
7 votes

The issue you are probably having is that these places are expensive to for an individual. If you had a partner who was also earning 45-50k Euro you would be fine living there. I get this a lot in the ...

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Departing senior engineer refuses to introduce replacement to open source community/peers
7 votes

Consider offering to pay the open source contributors. Clearly Gust had a good relationship with them, but you don't. So now any requests for help are not coming from a friend who has contributed to ...

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Employer planning on making a change that I'm prepared to quit over. How should I tell manager?
7 votes

You should check the legal position. If it's not legal then you can simply refuse to use it and they can't fire you for it. There is also the Health and Safety aspect to consider, if it's not safe (...

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How to tell your boss that you don't want to use the expensive MacBook he bought you, as you are used to Linux/Windows
7 votes

It is worth considering make an effort with the Mac because although Mac OS itself can be a pain, underneath it's Unix and that's increasingly worth knowing. Linux is also a type of Unix, for example, ...

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What would be a professional response to “unfair” testing methods during a job interview
7 votes

The professional response would be to tell them that you have graded them F for their interview process and that you will be withdrawing. Then leave and count yourself lucky for having avoided such a ...

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Neurodiversity-friendly employers in Berlin
Accepted answer
7 votes

Unfortunately it can be difficult to determine before hand what the company's reaction will be, and especially in larger companies it can depend which department you are in. One useful technique is ...

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How to respond to an insistent recruiter's cold email?
7 votes

If they are particularly obnoxious I sometimes reply with a simple: unsubscribe Costs you minimal time Clearly indicates your disinterest in further communications Clearly states your desired ...

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Laid off and can't find job
6 votes

You have relevant skills, the problem is nobody is hiring at the moment. With the global pandemic causing recessions and anticipated economic shocks from events like brexit and the US presidential ...

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"I'm not telling you to work nights and weekends, but I am expecting that to happen" - what does this mean?
6 votes

Your boss is saying she intends to steal your wages. You will have to work for free sometimes. Unfortunately this is not uncommon. You can only decide if you are willing to accept the level of wage ...

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How to prove that I have worked on complex product design in the past?
Accepted answer
6 votes

The only proof you need is that you can talk in detail about the design and the issues that you encountered with it. At the interview you should be using previous projects to provide examples of how ...

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As a developer; Not getting time to test, receiving extreme deadlines and not being listened to by the manager
6 votes

Unfortunately there is no good way to handle this that isn't going to cause you some pain. First, cover yourself. Make sure you send your boss emails explaining that the timescales are unrealistic ...

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Boss is telling me to download software but they didn't provide me a work computer so I'm using my own. Can I refuse?
5 votes

This would be illegal under UK law. If they want you to install monitoring/tracking software on the computer you use for work then they need to provide you with said computer. However since you ...

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How do I overcome an unsatisfactory background check?
5 votes

Unfortunately you may need to see a lawyer. Normally if you are fired then a previous employer won't do more than confirm you worked there, but it sounds like the fact that you signed something is ...

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Senior Developer applying to junior positions
Accepted answer
4 votes

If you were doing the senior job then you were qualified... For that job. The issue seems to be that your qualifications for that senior developer role do not transfer to other senior developer roles. ...

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