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Rephrased to avoid XY problem - https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/66377/what-is-the-xy-problem
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Bernhard Barker
Bernhard Barker
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Should How should I ask my friend to resign from a job a vouched for himhandle an unreliable coworker that I recommended?

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and they are aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before. I feel that when my manager realizes this coworker is unreliable, my reputation will be tainted.

How should I handle this? Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? 

This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

Update

My manager was aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before.

Should I ask my friend to resign from a job a vouched for him?

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and I feel that when my manager realizes this, my reputation will be tainted. Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

Update

My manager was aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before.

How should I handle an unreliable coworker that I recommended?

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and they are aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before. I feel that when my manager realizes this coworker is unreliable, my reputation will be tainted.

How should I handle this? Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? 

This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

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kev
kev
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I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and I feel that when my manager realizes this, my reputation will be tainted. Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

Update

My manager was aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before.

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and I feel that when my manager realizes this, my reputation will be tainted. Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and I feel that when my manager realizes this, my reputation will be tainted. Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.

Update

My manager was aware that he is my friend and that we had worked together before.

Source Link
kev
kev
  • 935
  • 2
  • 6
  • 8

Should I ask my friend to resign from a job a vouched for him?

I vouched for a close friend of mine to get a job at my current workplace. 2 weeks in and I've noticed some weird behavior.

  • He has missed some important meetings
  • He has lied (twice) about a personal emergency to get out of the office
  • On a typical day he just seems to disappear from the office for 4 or 5 hours
  • He sometimes states that he is working from home but no work is getting done.

I strongly suspect that he did not actually quit his former job which was a bit relaxed and allowed him to work from home most of the time. So he could be disappearing to deal with other commitments at his previous job.

I have realized that I made a terrible mistake vouching for him especially since he is my friend. We had worked together for several years in a previous company and technically he is very good. I feel like he has made a fool of me, betrayed my trust in him and and is not taking the job seriously.

We report to the same manager and I feel that when my manager realizes this, my reputation will be tainted. Should I confront him and ask him to resign if it turns out that he had not quit his former job? This issue has really angered me to a point where ending the friendship is an option because it feels like he took my job as a joke and is risking my reputation at work.