Timeline for How should I accept hurtful feedback from a colleague?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
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| Dec 13, 2021 at 13:55 | comment | added | gnasher729 | First response should be "Are you talking to me?". It indicates that you are not accepting what they said, gives them a halfway decent way to backtrack, and tells them that if they repeat it, they'll have a fight on their hand. Another possibility: You say loudly to another colleague something like "Hey Joe, Jim says that you find me embarrassing. Is that true?". And if Joe says "Not at all, first I've never said this, and second, there is no reason why I would say that. " | |
| Mar 5, 2013 at 21:03 | comment | added | TRiG | As you say, "vague allegations backed by vague references" should be ignored. +1. | |
| Aug 7, 2012 at 23:07 | history | edited | kevin cline | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Jul 5, 2012 at 20:36 | history | edited | kevin cline | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| May 11, 2012 at 18:57 | comment | added | Jonathan |
+1 I consider this statement to be emotionally abusive. The colleagues statement is designed to get the OP to self-attack and doubt themself which is a common tactic of an abuser. The abusers aim is to make the other person feel small to bring them down to their level because they themself feel small. If the colleague was truly interested in helping the OP learn something he could have expressed emotions without conclusions as this leaves an opportunity for the colleague to process their own emotions, maybe the statement is projecting how his parents reacted at an "embarrassing" behaviour.
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| Apr 10, 2012 at 22:51 | comment | added | HLGEM | Yes, exactly, this reeks of a person who is out to get you politically and to make you look bad to others. Do not trust this person, document everything and make sure to be the one who takes the high road. Talk to others to see if they feel the criticism was valid, but well over 90% of teim when it is presented like this, it is to make you look bad. Be very wary of this person in the future. | |
| Apr 10, 2012 at 21:13 | history | edited | kevin cline | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
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| Apr 10, 2012 at 21:08 | history | answered | kevin cline | CC BY-SA 3.0 |