Timeline for Found a co-worker on a dating website. How do I approach them?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
19 events
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| Jun 9, 2020 at 9:38 | comment | added | Chris | @FrankHopkins We agree there, it is culture-specific. I was looking at it from employer perspective. Most companies in Europe don't care about it and normally it won't have any work related consequences. Still it's awkward for the people involved in it. | |
| May 27, 2020 at 12:05 | comment | added | Frank Hopkins | @Chris but even within countries there can be different cultural norms. If you're sure if your local norms and/or observe people around you behaving one way, then sure, go for that, but if you don't the online dating site would be the safer option. | |
| May 27, 2020 at 12:02 | comment | added | Frank Hopkins | @Chris that depends in Europe also on what and how you want to go at it and where in Europe you are. If she's in a different department and barely knows you directly asking for a date will come across as quite awkward in the European workplaces I know (central, north). Slowly getting to know her as a colleague, start having chats at work, slowly growing this into more and then eventually maybe go on a date, yeah that might work and is acceptable (as long as you recognize her potential signals of no interest), but then this takes way longer for a concrete result than another approach. | |
| Feb 16, 2020 at 18:15 | comment | added | Chris | @gburton In USA it's a no-go, in most countries in Europe it's no problem at all (as long as you're not her/ his boss). | |
| Feb 14, 2020 at 14:57 | comment | added | speciesUnknown | The question is not culture specific so I would err on the side of caution. | |
| Feb 14, 2020 at 14:16 | comment | added | guest | @gburton: In the US, maybe. Probably everywhere else people get asked out all the time at all situation and wihld not be uncomfortable if done respectfully and when a "no" is accepted. | |
| Feb 14, 2020 at 13:03 | comment | added | speciesUnknown | Making her work awkward is one issue. But the big one is that by using a dating site she is creating an environment where she is comfortable being contacted in a controlled manner, and having control over who she deals with - in person this falls away. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 16:57 | comment | added | guest | @gburton: No problem. But I would find it great if you could state the reasons (or what exactly you are objecting to.) | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 16:50 | comment | added | guest | @PlayerOne: I do see your point. I do think the appropriatness of this varies between different locales and white/blue collar jobs. But in all cases, asking at the work place is not the optimal solution. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 11:47 | comment | added | speciesUnknown | BAD idea. For a litany of reasons. Had to downvote, sorry. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 9:49 | comment | added | Bernhard Barker | "it would be fine to ask out a person in your workplace" - if you've actually spoken a bit with this person before (which may or may not be in the same conversation). Simply asking out a stranger with no build-up would be weird at work as well as everywhere else. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 9:14 | comment | added | Player One | I'd like to upvote this (I married someone from my workplace who asked me out), but making the approach at work is not the right place to do it. Find a pub that everyone goes to after work, or something like that, and do it there. Not actually during work hours. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 5:34 | comment | added | Developer63 | I say find some plausible excuse to interact in some way at work and see if this person is someone you would even be interested in getting to know further. Pros: you know she is a real person, and know her actual appearance. Cons: It's the workplace. I personally avoid all dating of coworkers, well, except for that one night stand. I got lucky and she's still a friend. Anyway, IF your interaction reveals positive qualities and potential mutual compatibility and interest, you can decide where to take it from there, whether to approach via the dating site or in person. | |
| Feb 13, 2020 at 4:38 | comment | added | jwenting | @dbeer work location is largely irrelevant depending on the company and job. I've worked in companies where my direct superior was situated in a building on the other side of the country and we only ever met once or twice a year except through email and/or phone calls. I've also worked in companies where I had a desk in the same room as the CEO. | |
| Feb 12, 2020 at 20:38 | comment | added | guest | @Donald: They do not work together but work in the same company (say, a office worker and a janitor in different buildings, but payed by the same boss). | |
| Feb 12, 2020 at 19:36 | comment | added | dbeer | @Donald OP specifies that they do not work in the same building and implies they do not interact at work. | |
| Feb 12, 2020 at 18:50 | comment | added | Donald | "it would be fine to ask out a person in your workplace with which you do not work together" - The author does work with this person, do what is your advice, if that is the case? | |
| Feb 12, 2020 at 17:52 | history | edited | guest | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 3 characters in body
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| Feb 12, 2020 at 16:47 | history | answered | guest | CC BY-SA 4.0 |