Timeline for Coworker made unsolicited comments about appearance, how should I handle it?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
7 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Feb 21, 2021 at 9:15 | comment | added | nvoigt♦ | @mxyzplk You seem to not have read the other guys answer you commented on and you sure did not read mine to the end. I don't know how to answer your comment, other than to say "please read my post 'till the end until you comment" | |
| Feb 18, 2021 at 21:39 | comment | added | Edwin Buck | In my state "well it's good to see you're still making an effort" is an awkward "let me back out of this conversation phrase by complimenting you while acknowledging that you aren't on your best today" That said, I've been in many other states. I can easily see how a person might read this statement as "you should do something different" As another person said, it's all about context. Make sure they know that in your context, such comments are not wanted, and then if there's a pattern of you still getting them with these complaints, it's clearly harassment. | |
| Feb 17, 2021 at 21:03 | comment | added | mxyzplk | -1. The OP doesn't say "this was sexist," they say that it made them feel uncomfortable, and the entire extent of this answer was "well I guess you need to learn to take it." | |
| Feb 17, 2021 at 12:20 | comment | added | nvoigt♦ | I'm not sure what you comment means. "If the inappropriate comment that was said, wouldn’t be said to a coworker of the same sex, then it can be sexist" isn't that my point? That we'd need to have knowledge about the environment to say whether it was okay or sexist? | |
| Feb 17, 2021 at 12:12 | comment | added | Donald | Something can be sexist and not be sexual. If the inappropriate comment that was said, wouldn’t be said to a coworker of the same sex, then it can be sexist. “oh good you still make an effort” is the inappropriate comment. Many females in my life have commented about using less makeup or no lipstick due to masks. The “you are making an effort” is the inappropriate comment IMO | |
| Feb 16, 2021 at 12:44 | comment | added | musefan | I think this is the best answer and is along the lines of what I was thinking of writing myself (but just couldn't be bothered to do). This situation isn't something you can transcribe and expect others to answer for you. The OP should be evaluating the conversation by herself, in her environment. Accent, tone and emphasis will all play a part in understand what was actually meant, something we here do not know and should not assume. I will also say, anybody giving advice to punish that person when they have such little understanding, should never be asked for advice again! | |
| Feb 16, 2021 at 10:35 | history | answered | nvoigt♦ | CC BY-SA 4.0 |