Timeline for Is there a polite and professional way to decline answering personal question?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
12 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Oct 24, 2022 at 9:35 | comment | added | Stuart F | Just answering "All over the place", "Lots of places", or "I moved around a lot as a child" without giving the life story would suit the OP better. It's common if you've got a complex personal history and can't really be bothered to explain it. "Where are you from?" "Lots of places, but I've lived in LA for 10 years." "What's your accent?" "It's a mix, I moved around a lot." Done. | |
| Oct 17, 2022 at 20:38 | comment | added | user3067860 | @user71257 "Not owed" is not "not rude". You don't owe someone holding the door open, but if they are on crutches and you are just standing around then not holding the door is pretty rude. Likewise you don't owe your colleagues conversation on any particular topic, but acting like they've committed a sin for accidentally stumbling on a topic you don't like is just rude. It's a common misconception but being introverted doesn't make you bad at small talk or mean that you can't understand the social value of it. In this case the value is "showing new coworkers that you don't hate them". | |
| Oct 17, 2022 at 9:58 | comment | added | MikeB | That his accent is noticeably "foreign" may not be in doubt, but the majority of people will NOT be able to accurately place any accent. | |
| Oct 15, 2022 at 14:06 | comment | added | FeRD | @DavidS Yes, but at the same time, the OP literally opened this conversation by telling us exactly that. And since, as they say, they have a noticeable Russian accent, arguably the cat's already out of the bag. I honestly feel like not answering the question, especially in a pointed/standoffish manner, "seems weird", which is another thing the OP expressly wanted to avoid. But I think the question can be answered while making it clear that it's not something that should be discussed further. | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 20:57 | comment | added | David S | Describing his nationality in any context, even mentioning the country, is the point being avoided. He's attempting to avoid bringing the conversation towards Russia to avoid related conversations. | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 19:38 | comment | added | user71257 | @134121, you are welcome to equate conversations with interview. I will speak with less intrusive people when I take my coffee. | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 19:29 | comment | added | user134121 | @Nohbdy Since this is Workplace SE, interviews starkly stand out as counter examples. | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 18:48 | comment | added | user71257 | Only extroverts think declining to converse about personal matters is rude. You aren't owed anything personal by anyone. Ever. | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 18:43 | comment | added | user3067860 | @Nohbdy The OP doesn't say they want to avoid conversation in general, just that they want to avoid the specific conversation about Russia. If you just say that you don't want to talk about X then people are sort of stuck because now they don't know what topics are OK for you. Providing some other topic which is acceptable to you is basically a conversational minimum. (Of course you're not required to converse with your colleagues at all, but they would be correct in judging you to be pretty rude which is probably not what the OP intends.) | |
| Oct 14, 2022 at 18:16 | comment | added | user71257 | Inviting a continued conversation is the opposite of the question's desired outcome. | |
| S Oct 14, 2022 at 17:38 | review | First answers | |||
| Oct 14, 2022 at 18:52 | |||||
| S Oct 14, 2022 at 17:38 | history | answered | FeRD | CC BY-SA 4.0 |