Timeline for Dealing with a toxic mentor
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
9 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| May 1, 2023 at 19:42 | comment | added | keshlam | From the example: I'm not sure I agree with him, but I'm not sure that your characterizing this as picking on you is valid either. He has an opinion on something that he thinks might be helpful for your career. Up to you to decide what to do about it. | |
| May 1, 2023 at 9:27 | comment | added | Theo | @Flater I did not think that concrete details are relevant to the question. However there seems to be an interest in that. So I updated the original question and added an example. | |
| May 1, 2023 at 2:43 | comment | added | Flater | @Theo: Your comments are consistently vague to the point of being unable to distinguish whether your mentor is being overly pedantic of if you're being overly sensitive. Without a concrete example, it is impossible to help you navigate towards the right course of action. | |
| Apr 30, 2023 at 23:45 | comment | added | keshlam | Not being there, I can't argue with your perceptions. I can't imagine what they would be getting out of it if so. Seriously, if you can't deal with this individual and it IS this individual, you should be concentrating on moving to a new management chain. Ask your second-line manager whether there's somewhere else in the group that you could be useful. | |
| Apr 30, 2023 at 19:59 | comment | added | Theo | I've listened with an open mind for half a year. Only to eventually realize that the more I accept the input the more "flaws" my mentor finds and the more he picks on me. At the same time I get great feedback from everyone else. Unfortunately even with the upcomming reorganization he most probably will remain my direct line manager. | |
| Apr 30, 2023 at 19:31 | comment | added | keshlam | ASK them if this is career ending. Don't assume. And listen with an open mind; it is quite possible that they are trying to save your career. Performance IS measured to high standards, in the long run and sometimes even in the short run. Or, if you really think they're offbase and you're sure the transfer is coming so you won't have to deal with them much longer, say "Thank you for your input" and ignore them... and hope you're reading it correctly. | |
| Apr 30, 2023 at 17:57 | comment | added | Theo | Thank you for your answer, @keshlam. I fully agree with your first sentence. However this is not my situation. The areas are brought up by me. The "eroding confidence" is downplaying / ignoring / denying any demonstrable progress without even taking any interest in it and at the same time picking on perceived failures of mine for minutes while measuring my performance in minor areas to extremely high standards and scaring me into thinking this might be career ending. | |
| Apr 30, 2023 at 17:14 | history | edited | keshlam | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 125 characters in body
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| Apr 30, 2023 at 17:03 | history | answered | keshlam | CC BY-SA 4.0 |