Timeline for Talking to colleague with short skirt - how do I not come off as a creep?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
26 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mar 8, 2017 at 8:56 | comment | added | Weckar E. | @M.Mat If someone potentially behaves inappropriately and thereby elicits equally or less inappropriate responses - who is truly to blame? It's like saying colleagues shouldn't laugh at me if I come to work wearing the ugliest sweater in the world. | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 6:41 | comment | added | M.Mat | ...Management is responsible for enforcing dress codes and appropriate workplace behavior. And all people are responsible for their own behavior in any given situation. | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 6:40 | comment | added | M.Mat | @jpmc26 First and foremost, we do not actually know how the woman in the OP is dressed. We can have wildly different opinions on what is appropriate or 'provocative' attire. Any comments on what is or is not appropriate in this instance are subjective. Regardless of how a woman is dressed, men in a professional setting (or any setting) have the responsibility to behave in a respectful, decent, civilized manner. If a man crosses the line of decency, he is responsible. | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 6:25 | comment | added | jpmc26 | @M.Mat "a man is still responsible for WHATEVER he does just as a woman is" That is exactly what I said. "is neither implicit or explicit 'permission' for men to behave badly" I implied this as well. But that doesn't answer the question: why does a woman get a pass for dressing provocatively? Why is this even considered as candidate appropriate behavior in the workplace? | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 4:29 | comment | added | M.Mat | mic.com/articles/141781/… cnn.com/2014/10/06/opinion/… dailydot.com/via/chrissie-hynde-victim-blaming-rape | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 4:28 | comment | added | M.Mat | @jpmc26 No, a man is still responsible for WHATEVER he does just as a woman is. You are confusing culpability for responsibility and your statement comes dangerously close to the old saw of blaming female rape victims because of how they were dressed. Not to mention, two wrongs don't make a right. Whatever a woman is wearing--or not wearing, is neither implicit or explicit "permission" for men to behave badly. | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 2:42 | comment | added | B. Szonye | The best advice I have seen for eye contact is to generally let your gaze wander around the triangle between eyes and shoulders, occasionally looking away entirely for space. | |
| Mar 8, 2017 at 1:22 | comment | added | jpmc26 | @M.Mat Yes, if a man gazes, he's responsible for gazing. But if a woman wears provocative clothing, she's responsible for doing something provocative. Neither one is okay in the workplace. Why does a woman get a pass for choosing not to dress modestly but the man can't be excused for an inappropriate response? This constitutes a double standard. Either they're both excusable or they're both not. | |
| Mar 7, 2017 at 20:44 | comment | added | SethWhite | @M.Mat To a degree, but if a man or woman came into an office naked, they'd probably get lots of stares. The level of staring will decrease in proportion to the amount of clothing worn. I don't think there's a man in the world who could stop his gaze from flicking to the hemline of a woman in a short skirt two feet away from him, even if it's just for a moment. Most women would probably be distracted by a well toned man in a muscle shirt. It's just biology at play, not the end of the world. What's inappropriate is letting that gaze linger, and that's where the self control comes in. | |
| Mar 7, 2017 at 14:43 | comment | added | Anwar | Upvoted...For the last sentence. | |
| Mar 7, 2017 at 13:14 | comment | added | Neo | @GrimmTheOpiner Noted, answer updated. | |
| Mar 7, 2017 at 13:13 | history | edited | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
added 652 characters in body
|
| Mar 7, 2017 at 10:31 | comment | added | Grimm The Opiner | Constant unbroken eye contact is unusual and unnerving, whether real or "feigned" (ie: looking at the top of their nose). It's normal to continually make and break eye contact during a conversation. | |
| Mar 7, 2017 at 5:39 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| Mar 7, 2017 at 8:38 | |||||
| Mar 7, 2017 at 2:29 | comment | added | Neo | @MissMonicaE Noted, answer updated. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 20:10 | history | edited | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
deleted 3 characters in body; deleted 190 characters in body
|
| Mar 6, 2017 at 20:07 | comment | added | MissMonicaE | @MisterSortOfPositive It doesn't help the asker, though, and it's distracting from the rest of your answer, which is helpful. | |
| S Mar 6, 2017 at 19:53 | history | suggested | donjuedo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
minor clean up
|
| Mar 6, 2017 at 19:51 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Mar 6, 2017 at 19:53 | |||||
| Mar 6, 2017 at 19:11 | comment | added | Neo | @M.Mat I mis-spelled a word, and it was too late to correct it, so here goes: Well, if a person ( forget about gender ) decides to wear provocative / revealing clothing, you are going to generate more glances your way --period. I don't see how my last sentence implies any blame -- its just reality. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 19:07 | comment | added | M.Mat | This content is really much more of a conversation but I have a question: What do you mean by 'proactive?' 'Revealing' is clear but proactive indicates positive action in a particular, progressive fashion. In any case, this ought to be continued in chat. Also I think we should have a new topic heading: SEXISM. I notice it comes up frequently in different areas here on the site. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 18:57 | history | edited | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
deleted 18 characters in body
|
| Mar 6, 2017 at 18:50 | comment | added | M.Mat | I'm not your down-voter but your last sentence is troublesome in that you place responsibility on the woman for how men will behave. One is responsible for one's own behavior and response to others in every situation. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 16:09 | history | edited | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
deleted 3 characters in body
|
| Mar 6, 2017 at 15:26 | history | edited | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
deleted 8 characters in body
|
| Mar 6, 2017 at 12:43 | history | answered | Neo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |