Timeline for Talking to colleague with short skirt - how do I not come off as a creep?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Mar 8, 2017 at 7:25 | comment | added | Stian | Holy moly this is bad advice. You open a can of worms by telling her to dress differently, there is no way this improves anything. It either makes the coworkers self confidence go down the drain, or she fights back, going to HR, or she could very well cause a scene right then and there and in either case someones day got worse and tomorrow doesn't look good either. Do not comment on her skirt, especially not if he suspect she noticed... If he had been a stone statue, never even glancing at her skirt, then maybe he could have taken the high road with more chance of making her day worse than his | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 22:35 | comment | added | user70848 | @KyleStrand I agree. If the outfit violates the dress code, that is an objective measure of inappropriate dress. It's definitely appropriate to tell a co-worker that their clothes aren't suitable, particularly when it's due to safety. Ex: flip-flops in a warehouse or construction area is unsafe. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 22:03 | comment | added | Kyle Strand | This seems like a salvageable answer--if (and only if) the outfit in question is actually in violation of an existing company dress code, then it is entirely appropriate to bring it to a manager's attention. | |
| S Mar 6, 2017 at 20:04 | history | suggested | donjuedo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
spelling, inserted missing word
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| Mar 6, 2017 at 19:53 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Mar 6, 2017 at 20:04 | |||||
| Mar 6, 2017 at 17:43 | comment | added | armatita | @zabeus I was merely trying to argue how unreasonable it is to ask someone to change their choice of clothing due to a personal perspective. The OP expressed a physiological response to an event and asked if it should have the initiative of apologizing. He/She is looking for advice which is laudable. Suggesting the other person involved that she dressed inappropriately is (even if inadvertently) putting the blame on the other side. The biggest problem with this answer is that it completely shifts the OP intentions to a very gender biased conclusion. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 17:09 | comment | added | Z. Cochrane | @armatita This isn't a helpful answer, but they clearly aren't suggesting the OP say it's inappropriate if he "simply dislikes it". | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 17:03 | comment | added | BЈовић | @Cruncher "You are allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for you." If you want to disrespect your work and employer... | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 16:33 | comment | added | Jonast92 | Controlling what people wear at work where a uniform or dress-code suitable for customer relations is not a part of the job? Where are we, in the 1900s? | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 16:25 | comment | added | Cruncher | @BЈовић "Coming to work wearing flip flops, mini skirt, or similar shit, is simply inappropriate" Except flip flops, and super casual work attire is an integral part of the culture of many work places. Especially in the tech industry | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 16:10 | comment | added | Neo | This is way too sensitive for a co-worker to bring up, her manager or an HR person needs to handle this conversation. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 14:28 | comment | added | enderland | This would benefit greatly from an explanation as to how to tell the colleague. Especially considering how sensitive of a subject this often is in many cultures. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 14:07 | comment | added | MissMonicaE | I mean, employers can "forbid t-shirts, eccentric haircuts, piercings, tattoos, sandals," or whatever attire they like. If someone is violating whatever dress code your office has, their manager should tell them. Whether or not they are, it's not for a peer to tell them. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 14:06 | comment | added | BЈовић | @armatita Coming to work wearing flip flops, mini skirt, or similar shit, is simply inappropriate. That has nothing with individuality or whatever you call it. A woman can dress nicely, without having to show her "attributes". This woman in OP's question obviously crossed the line. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 13:49 | comment | added | armatita | The thing is: "inappropriate" is largely a matter of individual perspective. Following that notion you could also forbid t-shirts, eccentric haircuts, piercings, tattoos, sandals, or any other feature of a persons right to individuality. Simply disliking something cannot be a valid motive to forbid it. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 13:40 | comment | added | BЈовић | @armatita Assuming OP is not working in police, where people wear uniforms, but in a company. Regardless whether a company has a dress code or not, coming inappropriate dressed to work is not acceptable in most places. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 13:36 | comment | added | armatita | I don't think this answer is helpful or fair. "Appropriate" dress code could depend on the job type (ex: police person) but it should certainly not depend on arbitrary opinions from a colleague at the office. | |
| Mar 6, 2017 at 13:04 | history | answered | BЈовић | CC BY-SA 3.0 |