In short I've been a developer for just over a year and a half now including my course time, I got assigned a pretty big project at work, something I'd consider a little bit past the scope of a junior to handle without supervision at least.
I have someone checking up on the weatherwhether I'm working onor not but there's no one who actually understands the code I'm working with, or someone who'll take a minute to even try and understand.
I was giventold at the start or at least told "You have until August of 2020 to finish". This was in November 2019, so of course I wasn't too worried.
I spent the first 2 weeks trying every framework I could get my hands on, And ended up settling up with Xamarin because I'm most familiar with C#.
Now at the start I was struggling a lot:lot; things just didn't work no matter what I tried. But one day my brain clicked and I started to understand almost everything, the. The only thing that I still can't seem to be able to work is IOS push notifications.
So obviously they kept checking up on me, the usual thing you know not understand somethings take time, or just aren't possible. SoSometimes they'd ask crazy things and I'd do my best to replicateimplement them when possible.
At
At the end of November I had the bare bone-bones system working and showed my work to the CEO, when all of a sudden things went south. I started getting asked for updates twice a day, Andand if the response wasn't "it's done" I got these disappointingdisappointed eyes and tone. I eventually decided to put a progress wall, having "Planning|"Planning | In Progress | Testing | Done". Lets say I had around 50 cards: 5 in Planning, 5 In Progress, 35 In Testing and 5 in Done and was told everyday "why is there so little in done", Andand whenever I'd try to explain that testing aan e-commerce application on 2 devices does not mean it's going to work correctly when you have hundreds of orders going at once, I'd just be ignored.
Before we closed in December I got told they want it in February so already I was like "okay thats"Okay, that's a huge push up from the old deadline" but just decided to push on.
During the holidays I was forced to work on a personal laptop due to the works Macs being too out of date for Visual Studio and the IT guy just never fetching my machine). My laptop broke a week ago. I started today and told my manager that it broke and I can't continue working on the application as I'd have to retrieve it from my laptop's drive which is under warranty so I'd need to send it to a repair centre. Now they are only open from 8am - 5pm m-f (my working hours) and it's an hour-long drive. Collection costs way more than I have at the moment, so I asked if there's something my company can do to help get it there so that I can get back to working on it as soon as possible, but just got ignored again.
Now about a 3 hours ago I got told that the CEO wants results and the clients want to see the app next week Monday, and I've in all honesty been made to feel like it's my fault the laptop broke (Note: I have no backups as they didn't want me to use Git and I have no external drives whereas I've askeddespite asking for manythem).
I'm not sure what to do. These deadlines are just getting pushed and there's nothing I can do. I was genuinely proud of what I achieved with the little experience I have; I've been working my butt off on this thing, having sleepless nights, but I'm getting it done. I just want to be given time. For instance, I mean there are bugs where the app just crashes on random pages and I'm not getting time to resolve these kinds of things (not to mention I've been handed the company's website redesign, as they want it to be up to a top 10 CSS websites of 2020-10-CSS-websites-of-2020 kind of standard. The other developers have designers giving them things like animations, footage, icons etc. I have to do all this myself without any Photoshop experience.
Firstly I want to say thank you to everyone for the extremely Insight full responses, Thisinsightful responses; this is getting alota lot of great answers so I feel like I should give a tiny bit more information as to my situation.
So Thisthis is my First "Real" Job and I've been working here since August, The money from this is keeping me and my Girlfriendgirlfriend and our Littlelittle one afloat. (I'm 25 justand before now always just worked in small sale'ssales jobs, contract work ect, etc)
I've come to a kind of realize that it might be that i'mI'm being given these projects instead of my Managermanager so there might be tension because of that, The No Git is-Git issue is that they do not want the project on the "Internet", (Please Knowknow I understand how silly this all sounds) Asas they fear I might leave and Use that application as a "Get in" foran easy ticket into another company. Now I have yet to sign another contract after my Probationprobation so Yesyes, there isare more people coming to help, I have asked but have yet to hear, Apparentlyso apparently I just continue on the Probationprobation contract which I have not agreed to,. The college I went to study at was more of a Lecturer gives u Material and Leave's the Halllecturer-gives-you-material-and-leaves-the-hall type arrangement, Soso I would say I'm self taught I lack any Guidanceguidance, Andand with that I get to my main problem.
I want to be a Developer Peopledeveloper people can acknowledge. I want to be Proudproud of what I do, I want to Understandunderstand the Rootroot of the problems of my applications, I want to Learnlearn Design Patterns, Why Thingsthings are the way they are, I dontdon't want to understand Syntax on a 50/50 Basesbasis and Just googlejust Google and Re purposerepurpose, Not that Theresthere's anything wrong with that, I just want to work in Stack I want tostack and write Complex applicationapplications. I live for the Thrillthrill of figuring out something I never thought my Brainbrain could even Comprehendcomprehend.
In Short Anyshort, any and all Requestrequest are denied, They've under highhandedly made it very apparent I can be replaced in a Week, So yes I do plan on finding a proper junior Positionposition In augustAugust when I have a years Experienceyear's experience.There There is no Mentoring NOmentoring, no senior toto tell me that Hey"Hey you know that run of 300 Striplines you just wrote lets cut that to 10 :)".
Essentially I can deal with the work amounts but I want to understand why it is this works , Andand why I would rather use something elselse.
Small note: the Clientclient is a million time's worse thenthan anyone, they have hated everything iveI've done,. They're never happy., and what breaks me, Is is I never get told its Crap"it's crap" or Great Id"it's great". I'd prefer that, It's always It's fine or its weird its"it's fine"; it's always a weird, middle answer
As for machine's at work The OS is out of date for Visual Studio Andand Xamarin as far Asas I know only functions on Visual Studio.
I just want to again Saysay thank you to you all.