I have led a department within a large US company over the last 10 years. About a year ago, I got a new boss, who is #2 in the company and has the power to make whatever decision he wants. He is from Germany and is extremely hard to read. He says he supports me and my department but his actions and comments say otherwise. It has gotten to the point where the stress of my perceived lack of support has made me look for another position.
I have found another opportunity that seems like a good fit if I decided to leave my current employer. The role would be a slightly elevated role with a larger company. The pay is almost double but this really isn’t about pay. I am so miserable that I need him to be firm and vocal in his support of me with my peers (who seem to be piling on). I am ready to walk without significant changes. I realize this may all be a communication issue since the Europeans have a much different management style. He will tell me directly how valuable to the organization and I’m doing a great job. On the other hand, he will be extremely critical of me in front of my peers. It does not appear to me that he does this to any of his other direct reports. I feel like I could be asked to resign any day, but this also may just be a misunderstanding based on his style.
I would want several changes to stay. Basically he could say all the right things to keep me - which he probably will, but I would want some type of employment contract to ensure he is serious when he says he supports me and is pleased with my performance. This is not an unreasonable request for someone at my level, although it is not standard. I really don’t want to leave, I enjoy the company, people and area, but I can’t live thinking everyday might be my last. My kids are at a horrible stage to move, which my new position would require. I can’t hurt my promotion chances since I am already as high as I will go in the company.
Does anyone have advice on how I should resign, while leaving the door slightly open to discuss what it would take for me to stay? If he is unwilling, I am 100% ready to move to the next company. I would want to do this in a way that if he is willing to work with me, it would not jeopardize our future relationship. I also don’t want to leave the company on a bad note. This is a tough situation but I feel I have nothing to lose versus just turning in my resignation. Any advice?