Leaving a Job and worried about being viewed as a liar

Question

I'll start off by staying that this is my first post and I'm on mobile so sorry for any formatting problems.

Shortly after graduating college I found work at a company. During the interview process I said that I was interested in starting a career with the company and sticking with them for a long time.

After being hired the manager expressed that what I said played a big role in the decision to hire me. At the time I said this I truly believed in what I said.

Well, 2 years later I find myself far more antsy and homesick than I thought I would be. I genuinely enjoy the work I do and I can't speak highly enough of my team but I don't feel happy with where I am.

What I'm trying to ask is would it be disingenuous of me to leave the company after working for 2 years considering what I said during my interview?

I don't want my team or my manager to feel like I lied during the interview in order to get the job or feel cheated because I didn't keep my word. This is the first real job I've had and I don't want to ruin my career before I even really start it.

Answer 1

Every company wants you to stay for a long time for their own self-interest of being cost-efficient. However, you need to consider your own self-interest as well; if your life changes and it is no longer good for you to stay at that company, you owe it to yourself to leave, and you don't owe anyone an excuse or an apology. You are not bound to them as a slave simply because you said so years ago. Situations change and you need to look out for yourself.

As for the possibility of ruining your career, that is highly unlikely. For one, many companies don't consider 2 years to be too terribly short anyway - maybe it's not as long as they expected, but it's not nothing either. Furthermore, whatever opinion they have of you, for better or worse, is probably far more based on your time and work there over the last 2 years than of your hiring process. If you made a good impression as a worker there, that is almost certainly what will color the opinion they share as a reference.

Answer 2

It is not like you signed a contract saying you would stay there for at least a decade. People and their circumstances change. Worst case the management might be slightly annoyed at having to find a replacement but at the end of the day, there is no reason they should hold a grudge against you.

In fact there is a good chance that manager might have forgotten that conversation. They were likely planning that position as a long-term, low-turnover one so that's why you saying that played in your favor. Now they might need to spend all that effort again which they were hoping not to because your circumstances changed. That's just cost of doing business, not something on you.

Answer 3

Two years are a long time. Things change in two years. Attitudes change in two years. Personal circumstances change in two years.

No decent employer will be surprised if you change your opinion after two years.

Answer 4

This is a bit of a frame challenge, but I think it's appropriate as you indicate enjoying the work you do and the company you're with. That is not nothing. You indicate that you are homesick, but don't indicate what you've done to address that before taking what you perceive to be the 'easier path'.

While I don't disagree with the answers provided thus far, I would encourage you to ensure that you've seriously addressed the causes of your homesickness and try to alleviate that.

I think my personal experience on the matter is relevant as I moved from New Jersey (home for 24 years) to Florida out of college. I was crazy homesick for the first 2 years and did not conceive that this was a real thing (I felt a bit physically ill); especially during autumn as it was my favorite season.

Things that helped me quite a bit included:

1. Making it a point to visit home at least once or twice a year (this was easy as I could fly between major hubs);
2. Keeping in touch with friends and family via phone calls and social media;
3. Making a deliberate and concerted effort to develop a new social net;

Undoubtedly the hardest of these items is number 3, but it's the most important. If you don't start creating a new social network you're always going to feel lonely and isolated. So whatever your interests are there's probably a Meetup for it, or join a bowling league, or whatever you have to do. Find people you like, invite them to your place, feed them food (learn how to make like one thing and you're pretty much good), and play Mario Kart or whatever; it sounds silly to say but this has consistently been one of my most effective means to promote someone from an acquaintance to an actual friend. All relationships are built on shared experiences, so if you're not sharing experiences with other people then you're not building new relationships and you'll constantly find yourself yearning for the ones you've lost.

If you haven't found yourself doing at least the items on this list, I would STRONGLY urge you to try them before leaving a company you like doing work you enjoy; that can be a very hard combination to get. I know in programming it's pretty normal to jump between careers regularly, but other industries typically like to see longer tenures so if you can address the sources of your homesickness, I think you'll be for the better.