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So I have a company that I interned at for the past year (full time and then part time during school) and I will be joining them for a full time position at the end of a study abroad semester that I'm currently doing right now. It will be over 4 months from now, and the study abroad is not related to my major (just for the experience). My team/manager knows this as well, so they view it as a.. sorta holiday?

Currently, my start date is a month after I finish my study abroad due to the fact that it takes some time for the exchange university to send back my transcripts. I would really like to travel after my study abroad experience and in this time, my mother and I have planned to travel internationally.

However, ideally I would like to extend it for at least another 3 weeks to a month, and possibly do more international traveling/visit my grandparents (that live internationally).

But.. I'm not sure if this is too big of an ask. I know my manager would like me to start as soon as I can (had a conversation alluding to that) and having extra time is more just a favor to me. I could phrase it in terms of "I want some extra time to visit grandparents etc" but that just seems like lying because its not the whole truth.

As my start date is already set to 1 month after graduation, should I just forget about it and ask for like a max extension of 2 weeks or something?

Or would it even be acceptable for me to ask longer? I just don't want to come off as entitled to the time (because I know I'm not) if I ask for too much, but I'm not sure what would be reasonable.

[EDIT] if you are going to down vote, can you please leave a comment explaining?

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Or would it even be acceptable for me to ask longer?

Yes it is acceptable to ask. Whether they agree or not is up to them and then up to you to finally accept or not.

should I just forget about it and ask for like a max extension of 2 weeks or something?

Ask clearly and directly what you need instead of negotiating on your own. Just make it clear to them that you are okay even if the extension is less (or none) than what you requested.

I could phrase it in terms of "I want some extra time to visit grandparents etc" but that just seems like lying because its not the whole truth.

Initially I would simply frame it as

"I request [Not WANT] some extra time for some personal travel I was hoping to do".

You can also add,

"I understand you need me to join as soon as possible and I would understand if you are not able to accept this request. I will be happy to join [assuming you really will be] with whatever date you finally are comfortable with"

  • Thanks, this gave me a clearer idea of how to ask properly! – ocean800 Apr 24 at 7:28
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I'd say, now once you have the offer letter and the joining date planned out already, it's not a very good approach to ask for extension for something that is not critical.

Given that this would be your first time working for an organization and you supposedly had a discussion on your joining date previously which you agreed - chaging that for an international travel plan chalked out later does not present a very good picture of yours to the organization.

If you need the time for something unavoidable (ex. - health issues), then it'd be understandable completely.

If I were you, I would change my plans to join them at the mentioned date, and postpone the travel plan to a later date, but that's my outlook, YMMV.

  • Hmm I see. To be fair, the starting date that was set was a little nebulous/expected to change due to my host university issues, but I understand what you are saying. – ocean800 Apr 24 at 6:13
  • @ocean800 The way I read it, they have already allowed a buffer period of one month,for you to be able to settle back and then join. That shows they are already considerate. :) – Sourav Ghosh Apr 24 at 6:19
  • @SouravGhosh: "that is not critical" - critical for who? For the OP, it might be very critical to have the relaxation time. I was in a similar position, I needed a delay for travel, but for different purpose, not relaxation. For me, it was even more critical than relaxation, even if the company did not care. – virolino Apr 24 at 6:32
  • @virolino I would really like to travel after my study abroad experience and in this time, my mother and I have planned to travel internationally.- you call that critical? – Sourav Ghosh Apr 24 at 6:36
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    this is the correct answer. Always trust Sourav. – Fattie Apr 24 at 10:42
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Honestly I think it's too big of an ask.

Getting some relaxation time in to refresh after the (typically) hectic period leading up to finishing university/school is certainly a good thing but you already have that - you've got a month off after you finish up your studying abroad.

A month.

Using the argument that you'd like some relaxation time to ask for another month would look really bad in my opinion. I realize this may sound harsh but my thoughts would either be "They are BSing and just want to go on another holiday" or "Wow.. if they are really that burnt out maybe they can't hack it?" and honestly unless the position was difficult to recruit for I'd start quietly looking for a replacement candidate.

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    Exactly, it's far too big of an ask. – Fattie Apr 24 at 10:43
  • hmm... honestly I talked to some other interns in the company and they have time off from 1-3 months after their graduation so I don't think that they would look for another candidate lol but its good to hear another perspective so thanks – ocean800 Apr 24 at 12:59
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It is definitely reasonable to ask. Depending on their own situation / plans, they might accept, or they might reject your wish.

Actually, this is a good test, so you can understand how the company will treat you in the future. If they will be nice now, they might be nice in the future too. If they are not nice now, they will not be nice in the future either.

I had this situation, when a company tried to force sh*t down my throat - including the rejection of a small delay of the start date, one week if I remember correctly. I refused without thinking twice, and I never had any reason to regret it.

NOTE: It might work in your favor to provide the reason behind the request. You can invoke the following:

  • you had some difficult time finalizing your studies, and you need some relaxation;
  • you did not mention this previously, being excited about the opportunity presented, and being happy that you were accepted;
  • visiting grandparents is not usually a good argument. However, if the grandparents are very old, or their health is deteriorating rapidly (I hope they are healthy and happy, though) then you can bring this as an extra argument. Otherwise, business is business - the boss might raise a surprised eyebrow about the request.

You might not get the delay you want, but it will improve your chances slightly.

  • Good point about the test. Just a little nervous since I would be asking for 1 month extension vs one week haha. – ocean800 Apr 24 at 5:46
  • I won;t say the situation is tried to force sh*t down my throat . A joining date is not something that's usually forced, rather agreed upon. I read the scenario as , OP is attempting to change the date, not the organization. – Sourav Ghosh Apr 24 at 6:06
  • @SouravGhosh: In my case, it was an aggressive "take it or leave it" - no agreement. I cannot have any opinion about the company under discussion here, of course. – virolino Apr 24 at 6:26
  • @ocean800: no two situations are exactly the same, I agree. However, as long as you ask politely, there is no reason for them to get angry. – virolino Apr 24 at 6:28
  • @virolino Sorry to hear that you had to face that, but that scenario is much different than this one. – Sourav Ghosh Apr 24 at 6:28

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