"What do you mean by that?" works when someone is trying to be subtle, or thinks they are being subtle. In this case, I don't think she's trying to be subtle at all

@gnasher729, while that might be satisfying, it won't resolve anything. The reviewer would just suggest "person" again, as they did before.

@Fattie He's had 3 "needs improvement" reviews now (so a year and a half of not improving sufficiently despite improving). In May, if he still hasn't improved, I will be able to fire him. Until then, I have to try everything and document to show I tried. His previous manager told me about all of these problems and they persist.

@Anthony All from the same culture (US)

It starts when his "mannerisms" interfere with his job.

He does come across as highly sensitive, while, of course, claiming that everyone else is overly sensitive.

He is older than the rest of the team, but has less experience than some (he was out of work for several years). He is not an especially high performer because he is in a collaborative role where he has to communicate with other departments and really struggles with that. His technical skills are good, otherwise he would have been fired under his previous manager. I haven't had a review with him yet, but he has consistently "needs improvement" reviews.

You remind me of Bob!

In that case, I can just tell Bob to grow enough self-confidence to overcome his fear of disagreement. It's not everyone else that has the problem here. "They don't blieve they might actually take a bite out of his head or start a fire and rake some coals?" - You seem to have misread the question: Bob is the one who pretends to believe this, not the rest of the team. It's bizarre to tell everyone else to accommodate Bob's sensitivities, when Bob is the one causing the problem.

Thank you. Ironically, I feel I have to walk on eggshells when giving him feedback. But this is a good start for me.

It's not harmless. As I wrote, other team members have told me (during 1:1 meetings in private) that they are uncomfortable expressing their opinions after Bob has expressed his because they fear that if they disagree with Bob or criticize some aspect of his ideas, he would interpret that as having his head bitten off, being raked over the coals, etc. and become irritated or angry towards them. Three team members told me that they felt Bob was trying to pre-emptively squash disagreement even before speaking. The rest of the team largely feels they are walking on eggshells around Bob.

Well, what I wrote was that he has the capacity to change his behavior in response to feedback. I wouldn't say he responds well to feedback. He tends to react negatively when he receives it and takes several weeks to see some positive change in his behavior, which is more than others.