0

I am just going through a very annoying situation and wanted to know how to respond.

Lately due to COVID-19 we all are working from home and my Manager is at the peak of micromanaging since I believe I am the only one now in the team whom she manages since we have one 1 person in the team and that's me.

Every time business asks to change or add something in the existing process, first of all she only attends the meeting of that requirement change and then doesn't explain all things to back to me even though I have to make the change.

Then she goes into a number of meetings with me and gets my understanding and then, finally collecting all ideas from me, she will ask me do I agree with her.

I am like why do you even ask that question if what you are confirming is 100% what you got from me at the first place? She also does the same thing in a meeting when we go to the big boss: ideas belong to me and then she asks in front of everyone, "Do you agree with me?". I just find it very annoying as I think that what to agree on when I said all these things to you and you are just using all same things to the business. Of course, I would agree on it since I said it but why she keeps asking?

Please let me know how to handle this.

Improve this question
2
  • 2
    I'm a bit confused. On the one hand, you say that she "doesn't explain all things to back to me even though I have to make the change". But then you go on to say that you have a lot of meetings where she explains everything in detail. So which is it? If you'd prefer getting all the information up-front in a single meeting rather than distributed over a lot of them, maybe suggest that to your manager.
    – Llewellyn
    Commented May 5, 2020 at 16:59
  • 7
    What if you said "this will take fourteen hours" and she misheard you and in a meeting said "this will take four hours" and then turned to you and said "do you agree?" You would not agree. Your manager is just confirming that she has in fact repeated 100% what she got from you in the first place. Can you clarify why this is a problem for you?
    – Kate Gregory
    Commented May 5, 2020 at 17:09

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
12

I will address the question directly. OP says:

She also does the same thing in a meeting when we go to the big boss: ideas belong to me and then she asks in front of everyone, "Do you agree with me?"

I do that all the time when working with my boss, or my students, or my collaborators. When I ran the meeting, I ask questions on ideas and plans, present my thinking, then summarize the decisions, and ask everyone: does it make sense? Is that what we are going to do?

That is called double-checking, removing ambiguity, and it is a good thing! Don't be threaten by that question. If anything, that's a sign of respect as your manager assumes that there is a chance she might miss something that you won't.

Improve this answer
1
  • It happens quite regularly that people think they've understood each other, but end up with different ideas. Re-articulating what your manager has understood, and you confirming, avoids this problem. The fact she's asking you "100% what she got from me in the first place" just means she understands exactly what you wanted her to. Pay attention to what she's saying: She will expect you to do what she says, not what you think she should've heard from you.
    – bytepusher
    Commented Jan 10 at 17:38
6

Lately due to COVID-19 we all are working from home and my Manager is at the peak of Micromanaging since I believe I am the only one now in the team whom she manages since we have one 1 person in the team and that's me.

I don't know why you decided to convey you are in a one-person team in this way, but it is too glib for a workplace setting. I know this site isn't a workplace setting, but if this is how you communicate at work then I can see why a manager would want to keep a close eye on you.

Every time business ask something to change or add something in the existing process, first of all she only attends the meeting of that requirement change and then doesn't explain all things to back to me even though if I have to make the change.

Are you involved in these meetings? If not, why not arrange to be in these meetings?

Then she goes into n number of meetings with me and get my understanding and then finally collecting all ideas from me she will ask me do I agree with her?

Hm. If you read this back you'll notice that the way you've described this, it doesn't sound that bad. Your manager has meetings with you to explain the topic, and then asks if you agree (or possibly, understood) her. I'm assuming it is something to do with her mannerism or tone that bothers you, but I'm not sure? On the face of it, a manager asking if you agree isn't unusual, nor problematic.

I am like why do you even ask that question if what you are confirming is 100% you got from me at the first place!! She also does the same things in a meeting when we go to the big boss ...ideas belongs to me and then she asks in front of everyone DO YOU AGREE WITH ME? I just find it very annoying as I think that what to agree on when I said all these things to you and you are just using all same things to the business. Of course, I would agree on it since I said it but why she keeps asking?

This is very scattered, and now I am no longer sure what the system in place for arranging requirements gathering is. I think you might have a communication issue with this manager that is hampering your relationship.

Could you try to re-write this question as an exercise in communication skills, and then potentially apply that effort to any communications you have with your manager?

Improve this answer

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .