Refusing a business trip of an indefinite length for personal reasons

Question

My company partnered together on a project with another company, located in another country. In the near future, there may be need to have co-location to expedite debugging of issues that may or may not come up.

The other company wants me to travel to their site and stay there until the potential problems are resolved. This may be a week or could be months.

I don't want to travel to this other country for many reasons. Among these are my safety concerns (this isn't a country known to honor women's rights exactly), the fact that I have a dog and a cat and plants that need to be cared for, the fact that I have a medical condition (MS) that has a tendency to flare up in times of stress, and the fact that I plainly don't want to be away for an indefinite amount of time.

I have no one to leave my dog with. Yes, I could board him, but that's expensive and I think a little cruel. He's still a young pup.

I think it's probably possible to have someone from the other company come here. I am also willing to shift my working hours to better match the other company.

I will speak with my immediate supervisor about this further, but I was curious what a polite or politically correct way to approach this is?

Answer 1

I will speak with my immediate supervisor about this further, but I was curious what a polite or politically correct way to approach this is?

You can always politely say that you aren't willing to travel. Something like "I'm sorry my personal situation is such that I feel I can't travel at this time. I'd like to work together to find an alternative." And then listen. If asked, you can suggest having someone come to your office and/or changing your hours to match theirs. And if your boss digs in and you are willing to do so, you can confide your reasons and counter any objections and proposed workarounds.

But be prepared for whatever repercussions might arise from such a declaration. Many companies feel that they can ask an employee to travel when business needs dictate and expect the employee to comply. And refusing can often hinder your situation within the company. Sometimes it means you are simply not a good fit for the job.

I've done that at several companies. At certain stages of my life, I traveled when it was required even though I would have preferred not to do so. At other stages, my family situation dictated that I not travel. In the latter cases, I simply told the company that I couldn't travel. I know that I burned up some personal capital in doing so, but for me it was worth it.

I also left one job where I felt that regular travel would be required after a re-organization left me with a boss in a remote location and team members half way around the world. Again, for me that was a deal-breaker.

Either way, decide ahead of time how rigid you wish to be and how far you are willing to go to avoid this travel. Knowing that will make your discussions go more smoothly.

Answer 2

I think you need to look at this as "how can I justify this from a business point of view".

It's going to be costly for your business for you to be living in a foreign country for an indefinite period of time. The fact that you have a physical medical condition that might require traveling home for treatment would also be a business reason to not travel indefinitely. And of course being remote would mean that your co-workers would have more difficulty contacting you if they needed any information from you. You can make a cold hard case that it makes more sense for your employer that you remain home.

Being willing to adjust your work hours to match the partner company sounds like a reasonable approach: it saves money, and makes it possible for you to collaborate with your partners immediately, instead of playing the "email-tag".

If the partner company tries to insist that you travel, turn the discussion around. Instead of trying to come up with reasons why you can't travel, make the partner come up with reasons why working remotely wouldn't work. You've already taken care of the major issue by saying you are willing to adjust your hours. Ask what the other issues are and come up with solutions.

Answer 3

I will speak with my immediate supervisor about this further, but I was curious what a polite or politically correct way to approach this is?

Yes, a meeting with your supervisor is surely needed.

However, instead of phrasing it like "I won't/can't go" approach the situation by exposing your difficulties planning the trip (your pets, medical condition, etc.), so you can then work out how to coordinate and overcome them together.

Try to have this meeting as soon as you can, and consider starting with something like this:

Hey Mr. Supervisor. I need to coordinate and plan on the possible upcoming trip with Client X, as I have some concerns about leaving, like ...[list and expose all your doubts and difficulties here]... I want to have your feedback and discuss how we can achieve a solution which would allow us to work closely with Client X.

Chances are that you will come up with a compromise and a solution that works for both parties. Be sure to prepare in advance and know exactly what difficulties you need to sort out, as well as what alternatives you propose or what are you willing to commit to make this work.

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Edit: Seems you are really not willing to go. In that case, I still suggest you approach it in a more constructive way, by exposing the difficulties and issues you have on going.

Be sure to have your medical letter indicating your condition ready, so you can back up your claims.

Also, I'd suggest that you update your resume and start considering other job options, in case this doesn't seem to reach a consensus or compromise that works for both or if they start pushing you or "forcing" you to go.

Answer 4

Adding my perspectives relative to the discussion on @DarkCygnus' answer:

1) Most of the things you are taking issues with are resolvable; you can board your dog (or have a friend dog-sit, or possibly take them with you if you like). I don't know the specifics of MS, but I do know that MS is a well-known condition around the world and would expect that any first-world country should have some way of treating MS if you have issues abroad; your company might allow you to bill them for health expenses if you can provide documentation of your condition beforehand. Most of your problems are not likely to be seen as problems by your boss/employer (not to invalidate your personal claims that they are your problems, but your employer won't see them that way).

2) The main problem you are likely to have is the one concerning your safety. This might be a problem of perception or a problem of a cultural gap. I would suggest approaching it as the latter: "I am uncomfortable going to country X because I believe I would not fit in well there". Your employer could take this one in a few directions. The best one (for you) would be to just find someone else. However, other options might include the old "grin and bear it or you're fired", or the "it's not really what you've heard in the news". These are a bit more difficult to get around, and if you get these sorts of responses then it's really up to you as to how to proceed.

If you are adamant about not going, I would refrain from using the examples of your dog and your cat and your health condition to back up your argument, because your employer is not likely to listen to those concerns. To them, your dog and your cat are less important to them than their business (and realistically speaking, as a non-pet owner, my perspective would be the same; I'd rather have a job than a dog), and the health concern can be solved by throwing enough money at the problem and making it go away. The one I would focus on is that you would not feel safe in that environment, and see what they say. However, I would suggest you be prepared for them to ask you to go anyway, and think about what you would like to do if that were to happen.