I had a colleague that I wouldnt call a "friend" exactly. I would never call her at home for personal reasons nor would our families spend time together after work etc. But rather "work friends", a pleasant working relationship with someone who you are very familiar with from working closely, together, for years and years and who sat 3 desks away from me every day for 16 years. We cared if each other was ill and were happy for each other when babies came etc. We even planned baby showers for each other, at work. If given the opportunity at the occasional happy hour we would always end up sitting with each other, talking and having a good time. I wouldnt categorize either of us extro or introvert. Several times a week, I would find that we would sit a few tables away from each other (alone) in the work restaurant. It was before cell phones, lol, so we were both reading the newspaper and/or doing the puzzles in them etc, while we ate - alone. So one day, I walked over to her, with lunch and puzzle book in hand and asked her if she would "mind if I joined her for lunch, today". I was assuming she was going to say "sure", so I was already pulling out the chair to sit down when she dumbfounded me with "I'd rather you didnt. Id like to spend my breaks alone." Embarrassed, I said lying and trying to regroup while standing there like an idiot: "I totally understand, let's go out for lunch some time when things settle down for you." Her response was nothing short of devastating, and it was like putting salt in the wound she had already caused. She said: "I dont go out for lunch." and then crickets.I just stood there not knowing what to say or do, embarrassed I just turned heal and went back to my desk in disbelief that this otherwise very friendly person could be so cruel. Being totally honest with me, in this instance, made me feel horrible and embarrassed! It had its lasting effect, too, as this happened over 20 years ago and without apology. She could have been a lot less curt. I wish she had said what she did, but followed it up with "some days I just need some alone time to regroup. I hope you understand." And then when I asked her out for lunch, to try and save face, she could have just said "sure, Id like that." The statement has no commitment attached to it and would have given me a graceful exit from the table. IDK I feel like she was rude and unnecessarily cruel albeit honest and forthright. I mean you can tell someone, when asked, "yes your hair looks ugly and horrible, all the time" or you can say "I know that I have bad hair weeks too! When I do, I always go to my hair gal and she fixes me right up! I think I have her number in my desk drawer if you you want me to go get it." There is no reason to be cruel and rude. I thinking that people will say that Im too sensitive. But if I feel that way, I feel that way and you dont get to decide how something makes ME feel. Go ahead and tell her that you need some time to regroup, today/this week, alone. But have a break or lunch with "your work friend" once in the while,too. Be kind, it's free.