Things have changed since I accepted a job offer. How should I raise my concerns to my new employeer?

Some background:

This takes place in Europe. I work in IT.

So I was contacted by a recruiter a while back about an opportunity at a relatively large company, an investment company, call it A. After some interviews they offered me a job which I accepted promptly. So far so good. This was a couple of weeks ago and I'll start working at A in about two months.

My girlfriend works in IT as well. Her career has taken off and she was recently contacted by a headhunter from a company (call it B) abroad and has passed two remote interviews with them. Now she's been invited to come visit as a last step in the interview process, in about a week..

If she gets the job, we will probably move there since this is a great opportunity for her and I don't want to stand in her way. The timing could have been better though...

A is an international company with business all around the world, and if I remember correctly the hiring manager mentioned that they have some 'IT people' stationed in B's country. The dream scenario would be that I could be stationed there, I don't know if this is possible but I would like to ask..

....so to the question...

How should I handle this? I really want to work with company A. Should I try to raise this issue with them and ask if it is possible to sort this out, maybe work remotely or from an office in B's country. And if I should raise this question when should I do it? Now or after my girlfriend has been offered a job? I feel that it's a good idea to be 100% transparent and let them know that we're considering this opportunity. But at the same time I want to emphasize how much I look forward working with them

  • 3
    Large companies tend to treat country offices as totally separate units, with unrelated budgets and staff. So you would probably need to apply there separately. Nov 21, 2019 at 20:36
  • @JoeStrazzere I agree that this is a hypothetical question at the moment. My girlfriend wasn't actively looking elsewhere, in fact she's never considered changing her job, she was contacted by a recruiter. If I had known this would come up, I would never accept the job offer.
    – holder
    Nov 21, 2019 at 21:31

1 Answer 1


It is noble that you intend to be transparent with your new employer. However, it's important to remember that until your girlfriend has accepted a firm offer and made a clear commitment to her potential new employer, the plans you're talking about are essentially hopes and not concrete plans.

And, to be clear, it doesn't make sense to be transparent about something you are hoping might happen. Doing so won't inherently put you in a better position than keeping your mouth shut until things are settled, and it could result in you losing your new job (and - worst case - your girlfriend's plans may fall through, as well).

If you do get to the point where your girlfriend has accepted an offer, and you have concrete plans to relocate, you can address that fact with your new employer once that has happened. If you find this happens prior to beginning your first day of work, you should typically reach back out to the HR representative that has been helping you through the hiring process (this may be an internal recruiter or some other internal person at the new employer). Do not involve the third party recruiter in this discussion, they will be highly motivated to do everything they can to get you to change your mind and stay with this employer - their paycheck and their reputation are at stake here.

If this happens after you begin working, you should address your boss.

Be ready for a negative response. It takes a significant effort to find, select, and onboard a new employee, and you are potentially throwing away that investment your employer has made. Even if they have staff in the other country, they may not have an open need for your skill set there, and they may not be able to literally transfer your current position to that location. So, you may find yourself without a job once you've had this conversation. Consider carefully if that risk is worth the plans you have to relocate with your girlfriend before you even hint at this to your employer.

  • Thanks for your answer. I agree it's a risk raising this issue to the employee.. However, if employer A can't meet my request and I don't raise this question until she has accepted the offer, I've wasted both their and my time. A's attitude / thoughts on this is of importance for us as well
    – holder
    Nov 21, 2019 at 21:43
  • @holder, Yes, it's a possibility that you'll waste both your time and theirs. But you're in a conundrum. Don't try to seek the approval of everyone and don't overshare your "tentative" plans with that prospective employer, otherwise, you'll be left with nothing in the end. Nov 22, 2019 at 12:56

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