How should I address abusive behavior by a senior coworker?

Question

Today I made a mistake, which was compounded by the software we were using which incorporated my erroneous changes into all of the projects through out the company. I am not an expert in our management software, but the senior member of my team that is very skilled kept shouting and telling me are you insane?

It was a mistake, and it has been corrected now. But I feel that it was unprofessional, and abusive the way my coworker treated me when this happened. How should I address this situation with my coworker, to communicate that this behavior is not acceptable?

Answer 1

It certainly was wrong of the senior member of your team to over-react in such an offensive way. That kind of behavior, in addition to demoralizing the rest of the team, encourages others to hide mistakes rather than admit to them lest they face the wrath of this person as you did.

You should not expect that this behavior will be "addressed" by the offender or anyone else by any kind of apology or reprimand. You made a technical mistake and he made a mistake by behaving unprofessionally. No good will come out of forcing judgement on which transgression was "worse" and having the loser pay the balance in an apology.

However, keep in mind that his over-reaction most likely has hurt his reputation MORE than it has hurt yours. We all make mistakes, your co-workers make mistakes too and they know that you are not, as he said, "insane". They know you made a mistake like everyone else. His outburst is harder to justify: in the best case scenario it was a forgivable isolated incident but every time it happens again the loss of reputation will get worse and worse for this person.

The best thing to do is to move on from this incident and do not bring up his behavior.

Answer 2

Well, you're not going to get what you call your "rights." You made a mistake, and you have to take some heat for it. Your coworker may have been flying off the handle, but he was the one that had to clean things up.

Anything you do now to try to "escalate" the issue is going to come across as you trying to evade responsibility for your mistake. Also, I seriously doubt that you are the first person that got that reaction.

The best thing you can do right now is to go walk around the park, calm down, and come back in tomorrow and do your job well. Admit that you made the mistake, and let the mistake be dealt with separately from this person's reaction. Let things cool down for about a week, and then ask that person why he said that.

From a perspective of the culture I am in (Rocky Mountains in U.S.), the guy lost his cool, but didn't insult you directly. Your best bet for retaining the respect of your colleagues (and no, you haven't lost it), is to admit you made the mistake, show how you've learned from it, and ignore the overreaction of your colleague. Austria is a little hard to judge, as it sits right between Eastern and Western European cultures, but it sounds like this person is just a hothead, and you were just today's subject. There was no personal insult intended, and you are unlikely to ever get an apology if he doesn't feel he insulted you.

As for your dignity, that can't be taken from you. You can lose it yourself, though, if you push this issue.

In the end, your coworkers and managers will respect you more for being reliable and responsible (including admitting your mistakes) than they will for forcing an apology from this person.