Can intellectual and constructive arguments lead to issues in the workplace?

Question

My manager and I have arguments from time to time. Now these arguments are just part of the business, they're constructive to the tasks at hand and are calm and well thought out and ultimately lead to better results. However, I'm concerned that due to the frequency of these, there is a void forming between my manager and I.

Here is an example of an argument we would have:

Me - Well we should use an observer pattern on the back end and push updates to our clients based on the database's entries, instead of polling from the client.

My manager - The issue I have with that is things have been done my way for a long time now, and as I see it, if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Me- But I can actually prove the metrics are better my way.

My manager - Alright, if you can prove it, then go ahead.

And then things are awkward for awhile the rest of the day between us. In the past we were good friends.

Is this common? And how / can I fix this?

Answer 1

I do this with my boss all the time. I agree this can be constructive, especially in an environment where you are the subject matter expert and your boss possesses some technical ability/literacy, but is not 'on the ground' coding, as it were.

To your question: I assume that was an abridged version of a typical conversation between you and your manager, remember to be friendly. You two are colleagues working together for your company. You win when you both get paid.

I've found that I get the most out of these conversations when I understand why things were done 'that way' before (example: why did the previous developer choose to poll the client rather than push from server side?). If it was done because of time or resource constraints or because that's what the previous dev was most comfortable with, so be it. Express to your boss you think it can be done better and how, then tell him how much time it will take and ask if he thinks that would be a valuable use of your time.

You'll notice the key here is to remind him that he is still the manager, even if you are the expert. You may know how to make the project better from a technical standpoint, but he may have other business or political forces he needs to deal with. Perhaps he is worried about straining your friendship if he says something like "I agree with you, but I need you to do something else now".

Essentially, you should be having these conversations. Keep them academic, as you said. Remind both your boss and yourself that even if you technically know better, he may have some other reason to disagree with you, and it's his word that is final.

Answer 2

Discussions are productive, arguments never are. I suspect if you are seeing more tension between you and your boss, then you are having arguments. This needs to be fixed.

First you need to rid yourself of this idea that there is only one right way to do things. Just because something is the best technical solution you have doesn't mean it is best when other nontechnical issues are factored in. It is your boss's job to consider those issues as well as the technical points you brought up. The reason why this attitude is a problem is because it will lead you down the path of patronizing people and nobody takes that particularly well let along people above you in the chain of command. So even if you are right, the tone with which you convey your superiority can be grating. It is more grating, in fact, when you are right. You need to help him save face then, not crush him with your superior technical knowledge.

Just from the snippet you posted, it seems to me that you are discounting his input. It sounds like whatever he says, you interpret as "he is saying some stupid management BS." That too will lead to resentment and tension in the workplace. Would you like it if he discounted everything you said with an attitude of "Stupid technical person who doesn't get the real world?" That is highly likely to how you are making him feel with your "oh so superior, I am smarter than you" attitude.

Yes is is your job to bring up these issues, but there are productive ways to that and unproductive ways. Failing to listen, really listen to the other person is one of the most unproductive. Sometimes it is even helpful to draw him to the right conclusion by asking questions rather than flaunting your knowledge. Sometimes it helps to take some of your idea and bits of his and make something that gives everybody some input.

And there are going to be times when the decision isn't going to go your way due to those pesky non-technical reasons. How to you behave then will also determine how your relationship to your boss evolves. If you sulk and keep bring things up over and over again, most managers will come to hate your guts fairly quickly. If you give in gracefully and try hard to make it (whatever it is) work, then he is more likely to listen to you the next time you think something will be a problem.

Another thing to be aware of is the importance of the issue. If you agree with him on some of the less important things, you save face for him and then he is going to be less likely to push back when it is really important. You only get so much political capital, don't waste it on the small stuff.

Answer 3

Arguments, where the goal is to convince the other person that you are right, are never productive.

Discussions, where the goal is to understand why the disagreement exists an determine if either, both, or neither is correct and synthesize a consensus even if it isn't the one you prefer, are far more productive.