I have been working for my company for 3 years now, have not "missed" or been late to work once. I have of course had sick days (>10). Recently, I have found out I am to be a father. As such, I have personal commitments outside of work that now dictate I cannot keep my work schedule (I use to work 07:00am ~ 08:00pm by choice).

I now find myself leaving approximately at 3pm-5pm mark. This in itself is not a real issue, but I am concerned it can be perceived as I have lost dedication to work. Now, as an expecting father I would love to attend the doctor visits my partner has for my child.

Is it unfair to expect your boss to allow you to semi-regularly take 1-3 hours off work to attend a family commitment? Things to keep in mind though I am still able to complete my work requirement in the time I am physically at work, and I also work remotely from home at night.

I of course want to climb the food chain at work and be promoted, and I do not want this to hinder that (becauseI want the promotion to support my family), but at the same time I value my family more than a job.

I currently receive my salary and work pay for my phone and car. (I am already very lucky for what I am given). What would the most appropriate thing to do here?

  • @JoeStrazzere We obtain DiL for additional work once approved from a manager, but other than that just paid leave.
    – DankyNanky
    Nov 20, 2016 at 0:20
  • What does your contract say? 7am - 8pm is far too long for a normal working day anyway.
    – PeteCon
    Nov 20, 2016 at 4:43
  • @PeteCon Rostered time is 07-03, I worked later as I enjoyed my work. Just don't want the sudden lack of "commitment" to be misinterpreted.
    – DankyNanky
    Nov 20, 2016 at 11:40

1 Answer 1


Why are you talking to us about your changed situation and not your boss?

Your firm and your boss are the entities that are affected by your rearrangement of your work schedule, and they - this means your boss - are the ones who are entitled to know what you are up to. Right now, you know you are changing your schedule, your colleagues know and unless I am mistaken, if your boss knows, then your boss is the last one to know.

If you get the green light from your boss for what you are doing, then your rework of your work schedule is a non-issue. Which raises the question again, why are you not talking to your boss?

Your boss is the one who evaluates your performance and who makes recommendations about your compensation. Your boss is also the one who determines whether the workflow of your team is being disrupted by your rework of your schedule. Your boss the one one to talk to if you want to negotiate an accommodation regarding your schedule if they find your rework of your schedule unpalatable. Your boss is the one who can fire you just before your kid is born. Your boss is the one person you need to tell your story to. NOT US!

And once you clear your schedule with your boss, if anyone grumbles that you are leaving at 3PM-5 PM, all you need to say is that you cleared your schedule with your boss. And that your boss understands that the fact that you are taking off to attend to your family business does not mean that your workday is over.

  • Thanks for your input. To clarify my boss has okayed it (although he is a nice person and will always put family first). The question moreover I suppose is should I (as I want to) attend each outing, or should I limit it in respect to my boss and the other workers (although again I am already pulling my weight).
    – DankyNanky
    Nov 19, 2016 at 7:59
  • You made a straightforward request and your boss responded to your request by explicitly okaying it. This means you are in the clear and that you have a free hand going forward unless your boss qualifies qualifies their okay. I'd say that you should be careful to let your boss know that you are always balancing priorities between work and family every time you decide to take off early and if you are specifically needed at work, you'll make arrangements to stay at work. Assuming that you don't have a family emergency on your hands, that is. Nov 19, 2016 at 8:06

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