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I work in a startup. My team has 4 members and a total of 5 full-time members are there in my company. We work very hard like any other start-up, may be more.

There has been lots of pressure from my boss. Whenever something breaks in code or I do some mistake, my boss would lecture me for an hour. Now he has told me to look for another job on WhatsApp.

I replied I understand this is my mistake I think I should quit. How should I proceed here with my resignation? Then suddenly the tone of the message changed. And he said the message was not to discourage you but was to motivate you and other kinds of stuff like that. He manipulates things what he has previously said.

Now it has been 2 days and I realized that I should not quit due to several reasons, like: lots of things depend on me and we are close to funding.

I am thinking of writing him a mail that I want to stay but I want to know certain things first. These things are: When will be my salary will be raised? What is the plan for funding? What are your short-term plans and long-term vision is?

I have talked to him a lot of time, he would confuse me with his vague ideas and visions. Now I am thinking of writing him a mail so that he understands my position. 

Need ideas for the mail from people who have worked in early-stage startups.
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  • 5
    "Startups" are always "close to funding". Even when they're not. Don't let that affect your decision to stay or go.
    – brhans
    Commented Nov 30, 2016 at 16:10
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    Your manager "motivates" you by asking you to find another job 5 times, and you still think it is a good idea to continue there?
    – Masked Man
    Commented Nov 30, 2016 at 16:23
  • 3
    Look for another job.
    – komodosp
    Commented Nov 30, 2016 at 16:49
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    To amplify what @MaskedMan says, your boss is a jerk. Motivation through fear and insults is a terrible technique that quickly reaches a saturation point - a point that you reached when you said "I think I should quit".
    – John Feltz
    Commented Nov 30, 2016 at 16:53
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    To be honest if a boss tells you to quite, start finding another job and resign. He either does not need you and will fire you eventually, or, is mentally unstable and will drive you crazy! Your boss's passive aggressive tone seems to be the latter case!
    – AleX_
    Commented Nov 30, 2016 at 17:42

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Write this email on a piece of paper. These are your pain points, and the things you want and need to have a discussion about with your boss.

Do not send these by email. Prepare a discussion on each of these topics, prepare your arguments, and find the right words to fluently express your idea. You cannot come to your boss with a heavy heart, and flood him with feelings. You need to prepare a rational argumentation. Preparing this argumentation might already give you the answers you need: if you cannot find the words, maybe the problem is too big to tackle, or too small to matter. Funding especially is a difficult matter in the start-up environment, you need to tread carefully on that part.

Example of questionning for the salary: Why do you think you deserve a raise ? How much do you deserve ? How much is reasonable regarding the company's treasury ? When do you need this raise ? If the boss says there will be no raise this year, how would you react ?
Find a way to answer all of these questions - because the boss is likely to ask you at least some of these.

Once you are comfortable with what you have to say to your boss, ask him for a face-to-face meeting, in order to clarify your situation and express your situation. A face-to-face meeting will allow for the maximal clarity, and will dispel any misunderstanding he might have about your problems.

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