About my eating habits: I usually go to a nearby restaurant to eat. Sometimes I bring away the food and eat it in the company kitchen, but sometimes I go with a group of random people there.
A new colleague has come to our company. My company has a kitchen where most of the people eat (there are huge tables, micros, fridge, etc). Those who don't want to eat in the kitchen, can choose to sit in some restaurants around, or eat at their tables. So there are quite a lot of possibilities. The new colleague of mine, instead of eating in the kitchen, connect to an eating group or whatever, continuously writes me on a private chat and asks me to eat with him in one of the nearby restaurants.
The first time it happened, he didn't ask me on chat, but when he got to know that I am holding a lunch break in a nearby restaurant, he stated that he is going with me. I got afraid and quickly called another colleague to come with us so that I am not alone with him. The new colleague was surprised and remained quite quiet during the lunch.
Afterwards, it got worse. He continued asking me in a private chat window to eat together, instead of asking me in the presence of others. I got afraid and said no with some poor excuse. This continued almost every day.
I don't want to be rude to him, but for me it would be very uncomfortable to always eat with a colleague privately in a restaurant. I wanted first to introduce him to other restaurant visitors or something, but since he is very stubborn and continues asking me every day in a private chat, I started to be afraid of the possibility of eating with him - even in others' presence - and couldn't do that. Maybe I am too sensitive and shy, but it always freaks me out if somebody is too pushy. Every normal person would understand after 3-4 'no' and there are plenty other colleagues he can ask to eat with in restaurants, and the kitchen is always an option to meet many. He is not that 'helpless'.
I asked my family for advice and they said to go with him eating and bring others as well. I feel that maybe this would be a solution, but just the thought itself makes me nervous after the daily ping I receive from him. I would not mind if he would eat in the kitchen and I would be there also among others. But to go out to a restaurant with the possibility that I cannot find every day some volunteers to eat with us is not an acceptable option for me. I don't want to hunt people every day to play the 'bodyguard' for me.
My question, how can I effectively avoid eating with him in a restaurant and not make him turn to be an enemy?
Background: I am female.
