I'm somewhat new in this job (6 months) as a frontend / backend developer, my boss, which I consider a really capable and smart manager, has a system for measuring developer performance, in which I constantly get much more points than the second best developer.

Note that I'm trying my best to win these points since my boss give all developers above average a free day per month.

Last week, my boss had a talk with my saying that some of my coworkers feel that I'm arrogant, he said that probably was because of the large difference in performance, and because I'm too assertive in technical debates. He told me to "mellow down" my attitude, and to always look for solutions that include all opinions in technical discussions.

I'm trying to be more passive but I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when communicating, specially when debating topics in which I'm specialized and where is not possible to have a "middle-ground solution". I also feel some "negative vibes" from some of my coworkers when communicating.

I feel that this politically correctness is leading to design by committee problems in some of our projects, specially in areas such as database design and software architecture.

Note that in my team there aren't any tech-lead / software architect positions.

Is there a way to effectively debate technical ideas, in an assertive way, without being perceived as arrogant?

Note that I'm very assertive and competitive by nature, and in my previous jobs I had a feeling of "healthy competition" between colleagues and never had any problem, I still have good friendships with several of my former colleagues.

Thanks.