How should you gracefully leave a company you helped start?

Question

I am a co-founder of a software startup in the B2B space. I am an engineer and have helped build much of our platform from the ground up. It's been 3+ years since we started doing this and we've raised seed funding + further funding as we've grown our customer base. When we began, we had some specific technology and found a sector of industry that would benefit and we've applied it there for the past few years.

At this point, I am pretty burnt out. I don't enjoy working in the market we are in, and I've taken significant pay cuts (no pay for 1 year, less than 50% market rate past 2), and my time gets split between customer implementations and support and helping manage the team.

My wife and I have made significant sacrifices for this job (location, home, etc.) and at this point I don't see the positives in staying longer. I have no doubt the company will continue to be successful in the future, but I don't really want to be a part of it. More than 50% of the time, I wake up and dread going to work in the morning.

If I didn't have to worry about losing relationships with people here, I would have probably left four months ago. I don't plan on being in management long term as I enjoy being an engineer, and I know I could get double my salary elsewhere and work in a space I care about. I also disagree with how some decisions are made and the company is run with my other cofounders, but that is more of a minor issue. I am torn because I really enjoy working with the people here, and I feel bad for leaving early. Does anyone have advice on how I could leave pseudo gracefully, or offer advice if they've ever been in my shoes?

I am so intertwined with the company since I helped start it, and I can't imagine leaving without burning bridges. I also know it would potentially cause people to lose morale, and I don't want to affect the company too much if possible.

EDIT: Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and advice on my situation. It has given us a lot to think about over the next few weeks. I appreciate all the thoughtful responses here, and maybe sometime in the future I'll circle back in a comment with an update.

Answer 1

How to gracefully leave a company you helped start?

Speak with the other partners in an open and honest manner. Explain as you have here, and provide a reasonable notice -- say 30 days in this case before departing. This is plenty of time to hire up, knowledge transfer, etc.

Also, if you desire, offer up a per hour consultant role, where you could be available on a per hour basis after your notice period expires. I assume you will seek earnings elsewhere, so make sure they understand your hourly support will be outside of normal business hours.

Your health and mental well being are paramount. I am actually super impressed that you worked for free and half your going rate for so long, and while being impressed by this I would not recommend it. Most people can only do that for so long, so don't feel bad that you have reached your limit.

And finally, you cannot control what other employees do after you leave.

Answer 2

Too long for a comment, so I just drop it here. On top of Mister Positive's good answer, I just want to add something from another perspective, because I was in a similar situation before.

Your business partner may not be aware of the sacrifice you're making. If he/she isn't familiar with the software engineering market, he/she may not know that you'd make double elsewhere.

Back then, my business partner didn't seem to believe that engineers at my level can make that much when I told him about it. He was polite enough to not question it, but the doubt was in his eyes.

Until I actually found a job that proved my point.

Things got a lot easier after that, of course he understood why I didn't want to work for the company we created anymore.

Answer 3

It's hard to say without more specifics, but I will suggest that after three years and a customer base, you aren't a startup anymore. So maybe it's time to stop acting like one. Startup is a phase, not a permanent state.

Get together with all your co-founders. Tell them you need to stop working 80 hour weeks. Tell them the company needs to hire more people to do the stuff you don't want to do. Tell them you will create or choose a position that you want (e.g., Chief Architect), and that's all you will do. And you will be paid a market-rate salary. Figure out how to do all this in a positive, constructive way--it's not hard.

You might discover that they agree with you completely, and feel the same way. Everyone else might also be burned out and thinking of quitting just like you are. Or, you might discover you are on a completely different page than everyone else, and everyone will understand that you need to move on. Either way, this is a discussion you need to have.

Answer 4

The same way you gracefully leave any company.

But, before you do, you need to step out of the exceptionally deferential mindset that led you to this situation.

Already we can see in your question and in your comments (e.g. offering to work for free after you've left?!) that you are conflict-averse to the point of routinely and habitually worrying more about the company (and the people in it) than yourself and your own family.

You need to stop that. Today.

The good news is that you'll only be switching to a manner of behaviour that most people already follow! You won't be turning into a bad person, or betraying anyone, or turning selfish. You'll simply be ending a very unhealthy pattern of behaviour that, by all accounts, has cost you and your family a huge amount both financially and otherwise.

With this mindset change complete, you can go into work and have a straightforward conversation about how you will be moving on to new opportunities. It does not need to be complicated, or involve guilt.

Where you work is up to you.

Answer 5

Assuming that your leaving wouldn't be the death knell to the company, exiting gracefully means... exiting gracefully.

Let them know that your passion is elsewhere and that you want to find more balance in your life, that you wish them success and the best of luck, and that you hope to keep in touch with them as they continue to grow, and mature, and succeed.

If your leaving entices others to leave, then they already have reservations about the long term viability of the company. There's nothing you can do to change that... except to stay.