On overtime
Stack Overflow's developer survey 2020 asked a question about overtime and the result was that around a quarter of respondents often worked overtime 1-2 days a week or more. It's not the average situation to be working multiple hours of overtime every day.
On the meeting
This is situational. Software development is a diverse field.
At one end there is software developers practiced as a profession, with practitioners providing expert services and responsible for producing outcomes. This generally means that anything required to do the job is the job. Including advocating for the resources required to meet the project goals.
At the other end are developers who are only responsible for their output, with things like team composition, recruitment, process improvement, product direction, and outcomes all the responsibility of someone else.
So is it normal to be expected to do this? It depends on your approach to practice and the expectations of your employer.
Whether such a meeting is appropriate depends on the circumstances but rather than ask if it was appropriate it might be more important to ask whether it was effective. Given the result of the meeting is that the team are baffled and you're concerned it's hard to imagine it functioned as intended.
A couple of questions that might be worth asking your manager and team lead may be:
- What did they expect to achieve by having developers in the meeting?
The obvious answer here might be "to get more recruits" but it's not the only possibilty. For example, your manager may have wanted to demonstrate how unreasonable higher management are being on the issue, and so to explain why your manager is unable to reduce overtime.
- What factors are preventing them effectively advocating for the resources they need?
Is the company in bad financial shape? Is the project not a high priority? Are internal salaries out of line with market prices and there is concern that bringing in new members at the current market price would create friction with existing employees? There are many possible explanations and knowing which one it is will help you make decisions about how to approach solving the overtime problem.