My husband just accepted a job in another city- which means relocation for my family. I need my paycheck and insurance (I am the primary) for as long as possible. My husband’s timeline is around Sept 1st to be in the new job- I do not necessarily need to be there right away but I do need to look for job there and do not want to carry two costs of living in two different cities. Ideally I would like to give at least a month's notice of possible.

With that said need some advice:

-When is appropriate to tell my job? There are some sticking points to this process for me:

From a professional stand point- Knowing that I'm leaving and wait till the last minute (meaning giving just two weeks concerns me. Now this can just be me being me- with my job I wear many hats- my Direct GM and I are the only administrative support for the business- and he is not the greatest “manager” in terms of knowing what to do if I were not there- I’ve given several chances to learn but he is a kind of manager that really could care less. His favorite line is “The Graveyard is full of irreplaceable people” yet whenever I am out for more than 2 days even with a full overview and meeting before I leave I will still get at least 2 calls a day- his first reaction to everything is to go from a level 1 to a level 10+ very quickly. I do not want to put my other co-workers who will be affected by my departure in a bad spot. But I also don't want to resign with a months’ notice and say I will help them find a replacement and they do that within two weeks- Or worse they will release me right away.

There have also been some rumors going around that he himself might be leaving the business as well. I know I can’t go on rumor but that does worry me in terms of my notice.

-From a personal Standpoint:

My Daughter (4yrs) is going for surgery end of July (already have signed absence request form, surgery is out of state so plane tickets bought etc.) I will be out approx. 6 business days (10 total). So I would need to be able to keep to keep working at LEAST until the end of August. Her recovery is going to be somewhat of an issue- she will be immobile in a wheel chair for 6 weeks after the surgery- her follow ups after are one in August and another in September. (I’m not too worried about insurance for September-if I have to pay out of pocket for that Sept appt that’s ok)

Lastly, if I hold off saying anything till say August-If the rumors of my Direct GM are true that he is leaving, what if his plan is for July and then I am screwed right before my daughter’s surgery and then the Board tells me I cannot go anywhere- I do have a signed absence request.

Any advice would be appreciated- Not sure what is appropriate in this situation in terms of whats appropriate time for notice a month or 2 weeks given the fact my boss may not even be here in a month.

  • 10
    When it comes down to it, you owe your company as much notice as they would give you.
    – Peter M
    Jun 22, 2016 at 14:42
  • 2
    Peter's advice is about as good as it gets. Take what your GM said to heart that "the graveyard is full of irreplaceable people" as to his opinion on the matter and stick with the 2 weeks notice.
    – NotMe
    Jun 22, 2016 at 14:48
  • 2
    @DavidK the business is 11 employees and even if I don't tell anyone anything- there is always the chance of anyone finding out- I am friends with most of my co workers (spend time with outside of work) and although they can swear not to say anything, i cant rely on that.
    – user53089
    Jun 22, 2016 at 15:04
  • 2
    I recently witnessed the same scenario with a co-worker. She gave month(s) notice because she thought it was the right thing to do after being there for years. They walked her out a week later "to avoid wasting anyone's time" which was only made worse by the fact that her manager and herself were seemingly really good friends both in, and out of the office before that. Needless to say she was crushed, and their family was left in a precarious position because of it...and all because she thought she was doing the right thing. So beware, business can be brutal.
    – Chris W.
    Jun 22, 2016 at 15:26
  • 2
    Standard reminder that some questions should be asked from an account that doesn't carry your real name...
    – keshlam
    Jun 22, 2016 at 15:38

1 Answer 1


Really this is about you. To be more exact it is about your family - mainly your daughter.

If it was me I would not mention a single thing until I was 99% sure that my daughter's surgery went well and you were out of the woods there.

Personally I would plan on working there after your husband moves. You may need to stay in a long-stay hotel or whatever but don't start playing around with insurances and stuff in the middle of your daughter's hospital stay - this never turns out well. Also you want to ensure your daughter receives the best treatment - it is sad but money does matter in most cases. It sounds like your daughter's surgery is pretty important. Take care of that first, job second, move last.

When daughter is 99% out of the woods tell your boss that your husband got a job somewhere and you will need to move soon.

Let the employer set the tone. It sounds like you like the company. It sounds like they like you and you play an important position. Bring up working remotely. Not sure if that is an option. But some companies would do this until they found a replacement - and you can offer to train replacement.

If they want you gone after your notice, so be it. Most companies though would work with you working remotely until there is a knowledge transfer unless your job had physical requirements of you doing something at the office. (I once had a shared secretary who worked remotely for 2 months. How she would remotely make copies for me or greet clients at the door or get me coffee... haha)

To sum it up:

Daughter, Inform Company (which may lead to resigning or working more), Move.

  • Knowing one's priorities really helps when making these types of decisions and this answer nails it.
    – Anketam
    Jun 22, 2016 at 19:02
  • FWIW, waiting to move can wreak havoc on a marriage. We have moved twice, once where my husband came after and once where I came after, and somehow the delay in both instances was my fault because I wasn't eager enough to be together. Given the situation with your daughter that might not apply, but just consider the possibility. Jun 22, 2016 at 20:28