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Some background:

From 2015 to 2020, after graduating, I worked as a developer for a company, where more or less always managed to do what was expected from me, and ended up being a reliable employee.

There were however some troubles on a personal/management level, because management did some nasty stuff. It took a heavy toll on the team mental health. I personally suffered from a burnout and insomnia. I never went to a doctor to seek help.

In 2020 the company went under because of the pandemic. After my 2 months notice, I found a new job and took it... To this day, 4 years later, I am leaving this company.

My Issue:

Basically, in this last company, I was facing some serious challenges for any task given to me. A part of that came from poor project management (globally acknowledged by my teammates), but I suspect that there is also something on my side, something I can't point out and I want to work out...

Noticing my "skill issue", I discussed with some teammates I was close with, asking for their opinion. I tried to apply their advice (main one was "You rush your work", although I always thought I was kinda slow), but it changed nothing.

Since October, I had new mental health issues and went to the point of thinking of quitting my job to take some time to rest, think about those issues, see some therapist, and get back into shape... but management acted before and fired me; I'm currently in my notice period and in sick leave for depression.

Now I'm trying to understand what was my issue with my skills, why I went from the reliable guy you could give anything to that unreliable guy you give only minor tasks because he fails everything... And most importantly, what steps can I take to avoid this from happening on future jobs.

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    I'd also suggest you read the help center so you see what points you can improve when posting questions (mainly, you'll notice that asking for opinions is off-topic, as our post should have an actionable goal we can help you with. Getting opinions is not an actionable goal).
    – DarkCygnus ♦
    Commented Jan 23 at 21:10
  • Edited your post :). Clarification question (as some folks here are US based and over there "fired" and "laid off" have different meanings. Fired is more like "you made something bad that caused you to be fired", and is "worse" than being laid off, which is more like "company has less budget so we need to let go some people")... It may have different meaning in your context, so we can be aware of that and the nature of you leaving this company (my take is that you were laid off due to performance perhaps?)
    – DarkCygnus ♦
    Commented Jan 23 at 21:22
  • Another question: were your first company after graduating and this last one "similar" in the roles you had? That is, both were soft dev, and similar techs? Or in this last one you had different technologies or tools you weren't used to or was it much different from your first job?
    – DarkCygnus ♦
    Commented Jan 23 at 21:24
  • You know what you were asked to do. You know what you did. Analyse what the common factor is and how it differs from the past. If there was something specific you were struggling with, invest in fixing that. If you were generally struggling, that does sound like it could be depression or burnout and medical intervention may indeed be called for. (Coping skills can keep you going for decades, but eventually you may need either chemical assistance or guidance in developing new coping skills. BT, DT )
    – keshlam
    Commented Jan 24 at 13:43
  • @DarKCygnus in theory, it was the same tech, but approached in opposite manners. It took me time to get their logic, but I did it after some months.
    – Mouke
    Commented Jan 24 at 14:34

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I doubt this is a skill issue

A skill issue means you don't know the technical aspects of the language (or whatever) you are developing in. I suspect you have an underlying mental condition brought on by your previous employment. You never sought a doctor for treatment, you need to do so now.

You need to treat mental health issues just like physical health issues. You wouldn't try to repair your own Achilles tendon, don't be that way for mental issues.

That said, it's hard to know what's going on here. But from a strict troubleshooting perspective, what changed between "reliable employee" and "struggling with tasks" was your mental health struggles.

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    I already took an appointment with a psychologist and saw my GP. To me it was a no brainer because, as you said, mental health is still health. My idea here was to seek opinion from developers, on top of future therapy
    – Mouke
    Commented Jan 24 at 18:56

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