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I work for an IT organisation from 1.5 years now. Let me discuss from start, we went for a team party at a resto-bar and all those who wanted to drink alcohol had it, I even had a little. We all enjoyed food as well.

But when we went to leave the resto-bar, one of our senior colleagues slapped me on my face without any reason(I don't think anyone saw that) then I immediately questioned him and feel hurt. But he didnt take bit seriously.

Now in this case, what should I do?

  • Should I inform my manager, team lead?
  • Should I ignore him now and then?
  • Should I inform my HR ?

I just want to teach a lesson to that person, but do not want to create an issue in office, nor do I want to spoil my image in company.

Please help me in such a situation considering my years of experience in industry(as fresher), my attitude that I didn't slapped him back at that moment, and consequences may arise in near future.

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  • thanks @JoeStrazzere for clarifying me... i am also thinking in this direction but it was a team event and all guys from project team were present there some of them now know this thing as i looked disturbed
    – IgnitedMind
    Commented Sep 14, 2016 at 18:49
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    Was it an official company event? In that case, bring it up with your manager. Otherwise, the police is probably the best place. (Even if you take it to your manager, you can still take it to the police.)
    – Erik
    Commented Sep 14, 2016 at 19:02
  • Not a duplicate, but related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/6430/…
    – MackM
    Commented Sep 14, 2016 at 19:07
  • If it was an official or even unofficial team event, then the restobar would qualify as a "workplace" according to company policies of almost all companies I know of.
    – Masked Man
    Commented Sep 15, 2016 at 17:36
  • @IgnitedMind Any update on this?
    – Myles
    Commented Sep 22, 2016 at 18:18

4 Answers 4

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I don't agree for advices about the police.

A single slap, that nobody seemed to have notice ? It won't go far and just ruin his current job. He will be the one looked as a troublemaker for calling the police for a single slap.

Even if the manager can't do anything about it, ask to him, ask to your teammates about it. They probably know him enough to tell you how you should handle him. If it ever happen again retaliate, however not physically like @Kilisi said, SPEAK UP and LOUD enough without overdoing it : "A friendly slap you say ? You're nothing near of being my friend". Make sure to use strong words but no insults.

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I just want to teach a lesson to that person

First lets get one thing out of the way, what is your motivation? What kind of a lesson do you want to teach? The tone and tenor seem to suggest some level of animosity, if that is a consequence of what happened at the restobar or something prior only you will know. The actions of your senior colleague too suggest lingering issues.

Once you have decided that, the range of response can go from (a) a serious 1:1 conversation that calls out the unacceptable behavior to (b) a police report with potentially serious consequences.

You can take the middle ground, by involving HR - request for a transfer to a different team for instance. Keep in mind HR works for your employer and isn't there to mediate conflict between 2 employees to their satisfaction, they are there to protect the company.

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    "The tone and tenor seem to suggest some level of animosity".... I think animosity is the appropriate reaction to someone slapping you across the face. In fact, in most cultures the appropriate reaction would even be to slap them right back...
    – user32882
    Commented Oct 19, 2020 at 13:24
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You should have slapped him back, but since you didn't you have lost face and it might get worse or become an ongoing problem. So be careful and make sure it doesn't get out of hand. Bullies feed off what they can get away with so this could easily get more serious and humiliating.

I'd take up some self-defense classes if I were you and train hard, after a short while you retaliate to physical attacks by reflex. Also great for your general health and building self-confidence. Unfortunately this won't solve your immediate problem.

I wouldn't advise taking it to your manager, as firstly I doubt they would be able to do anything constructive and secondly, it's a bit humiliating to talk about. You got caught by surprise which could have happened to anyone, but it happened to you. It's a personal issue outside work hours, you need to deal with it.

I won't tell you how to do so because I don't know your physical skillset, and I won't tell you what I wold do because it might place you in danger and I'd get even more downvotes than I'm going to get anyway.

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  • Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – Monica Cellio
    Commented Sep 23, 2016 at 0:31
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I disagree that you should do nothing. Letting this fester inside will only allow things to get worse. Why don't you first stop by HR? It's their job to keep their eye out for such nascent problems.

Tell them what happened, and ask whether this is something you should address and if so how. Bring in some ideas of your own. Think collectively of a solution.

This stop by HR can be valuable because it can teach you a lot about what kind of company you're working for. If they simply play it off as unimportant or tell you to just deal with it, at least now you know what you're up against, and you know you need to get another job. Now.

Make sure you don't make a big fuss though, and if you can, dissimulate the identity of the person who slapped you. Don't let them get too carried away if they find that what you went through was unacceptable.

Be brave. You have been physically attacked by a senior colleague. This has to be addressed one way or another! Might as well address it the right way!

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