What degree of specificity should recruiters receive when dealing with an exigent family matter?

Question

I'm currently looking for a job, but due to extensive and exigent family matters, I've not really had the time or focus on requests by hiring managers, or really follow up on leads. Worse, I don't know when it will be resolved enough to allow me to focus again on the job hunt.

I've talked to the recruiters that have been working with me in what I'd describe as cryptic terms - analogous to, "I'm going through an exigent family matter, and haven't managed to look at this yet," or "I'm going through an exigent family matter, and unfortunately have to withdraw from the interviewing process at this time," and for the most part it seems like they're amicable to the situation.

However, I really don't want to make this seem like I'm slacking off; I'm genuinely dealing with family matters which require my near-constant attention.

I don't want to burn bridges or miss out, as these recruiters have opportunities I have a genuine interest in. To that effect, I'd like to inform them of what's going on so that they have in their minds when I'd be reasonably available. However, I'm not sure how much sharing would be necessary or professional.

What degree of specificity should I be stating when I say, "I have an exigent family matter"? Is simply mentioning it enough, or should I look to go deeper?

Answer 1

"Hi, I just want to let you know that I have family matters I will need to be attending to. I will be out of touch for a couple weeks. Thank you for all the work you've done so far and I hope to keep working with you when things are settled."

That is about right -- honestly, you could go terser but I am kind of a believer in thanking people more than is strictly necessary -- and it is totally fine professional currency in my experience (U.S., software, New York -- but I'm pretty sure this is just common business culture).

have to withdraw from the interviewing process at this time,

No, do not say that. It is their choice whether they want to be patient.

However, I really don't want to make this seem like I'm slacking off; I'm genuinely dealing with family matters which require my near-constant attention.

Everyone above the age of 33 knows exactly what you are going through and you will have to say no more.

Likely your recruiter will offer condolences and say something like, they will manage things with your prospective employers. A good business contact of any kind tries to help out in these situations.

Answer 2

I'm currently looking for a job, but due to extensive and exigent family matters, I've not really had the time or focus on requests by hiring managers, or really follow up on leads. Worse, I don't know when it will be resolved enough to allow me to focus again on the job hunt.

Either you are looking for a job or you aren't:

1. If you are looking for a job, then you are ready, willing and able to go through every follow up step to get interviews and take up the job if offered and you like the offer enough to take it.

2. If you re not looking for a job, then you need not do anything.

3. What you cannot do is say that you are looking for a job and follow up with "I have an exigent family matter" every time someone wants to discuss the next step with you. Whether you go into more clarifications with your exigent family matter is immaterial. The message that your recruiters get and work with is that you are not available. Period. And your recruiters will react by working with someone else - they make money by recruiting. If you are not available, you cannot be recruited. If you cannot be recruited, then they can't make money from recruiting you.

Once you've taken care of your family matter, let them know that you are available. Or they'll contact you again on their own three to six months from now and ask you how you're doing. Recruiters will work with you as long as they think they have a good chance of making money. They'll drop you like a bad habit if they conclude that you are not someone they can introduce to their clients with any good chance of success.

Be careful with this exigent family matter thing. If you are looking and you can't follow up, you might create the impression that even if you somehow got hired, that you can't be relied to perform your job duties because your attention to family matters is competing with these job duties. Employers are not anywhere as concerned about what your exigent family matters are as they are concerned about the impact of those exigent family matters on your job performance if you were to work for them.