I am 1 1/2 month into my 3 months extension of probation and things are really looking worrying. My manager had admitted that communication has been a big part of the issue from the top-level. I raised the team attitude especially Team Lead and another developer is very rude towards me and he mentioned having a discussion.
Lately, they hired another person pre-COVID but he didn't start until now as a senior and I am a senior too. who been having group calls every now and then and every day to do pair programming to do jobs coming in and on other hand, the Team Lead who had aggressive behavior had been very lean towards him whist not following SOP of not creating jobs on the job board but pasting in slack and the new senior guy is doing same.
While chatting with the Team Lead which started with me greeting and him mentioned he is worried that I do not speak up in chat and I told him that I newborn who is crying all the time so I type my message instead of speaking and asked what he thinks of me so he mentioned
"To be honest I think you've struggled quite a lot from the beginning, especially with tech name. I feel like you've not improved in your time here. But there are factors that play into that, lockdown has had a massive effect on all of us. Jobs that have been specced out, like the X fixes a couple of months back you spent the whole day working on Y even though we specifically said not to. Communication is key and if you're not understanding the way something is being explained then you need to speak up so we can help you. If you tell us you understand when you don't you're only going to stress yourself out even more. Any additional stress at the moment is something nobody wants. It's tough."
Now he is the same guy who asked 2-3 times would get angry and say "read it, it is there".
I am introverted and shy away if someone talks to me in a rude or annoying way but I want to catch up with my manager (as my chances are very bleak (IMO)), asking what is going on and why there is a handholding attitude
P.S - I have put in email to the manager for holidays to which he didn't reply the past 10 days also he haven't catchup with me when asked for discussion.