I received feedback from my manager that a colleague found a code review comment of mine hurtful. He kept the name confidential.
It's important to me that code review remain a positive and collaborative interaction, so this is deeply concerning to me.
I looked over my recent comments and did not find anything that seemed objectionable to me - but that's the problem in a nutshell, isn't it?
What, if anything, should I do in this situation?
"I received feedback from my manager that a colleague found a code review comment of mine hurtful."
"I looked over my recent comments and did not find anything that seemed objectionable to me"
You need to communicate your manager and use the manager as a go-between to reconcile these two statements.
Once words are out of our mouths, they take a life and meaning of their own. Once in a while, people will read into our words meaning and implications that we never suspected were there - I will tell you from bitter, personal experience that the creativity of some of the people I ran into in interpreting my words in a way that offended them was staggering, and that's putting it mildly.
Talk to your manager and tell them that you don't have a clue of what you said that was hurtful and that you absolutely, positively need clarification. Tell him that you will apologize if you are at the origin of the miscommunication and you want to clear things up if you are not the origin of the miscommunication.
If I were placed in a position like yours, and the manager was reluctant to identify the individual or the feedback comment, I'd point out to the manager that I can address only those complaints that are specific enough to be actionable. I cannot be expected to guess at what the complaint is. If a manager were to put me in a position where I have to guess what the complaint is, I'd tear into him without a second's hesitation. His position is his problem not mine. He reported a complaint to me with the expectation that I'd address it. Like it or not, I expect his full cooperation in giving me the specifics of the complaint. Period.
What, if anything, should I do in this situation?
Code reviews are not supposed to be popularity contests. Don't worry about it, your manager isn't worried enough to even give you the details, so it's just a 'heads up', so just be careful with comments in future. Make sure they're professional and constructive.
I partly team up with Kilisi: A code review is not a "popularity contest". It is about how much a neutral set of characters fulfill set principles of the code language, coding style and purpose (and hopefully further developent also). It is not place to for hurting, and therefore not a place to feel offended at the same time!
In this specific case the community and the manager is also to be considered:
One of the communications I hardly tolerate is the careless referencing. "I tell you something, you are supposed to work on what I actually mean by that, and then what I expect to see, then how to fit in there, and then to avoid nearly similar situation with me." Totally unfair, and unprofessional. This is how kindergarten effects come into play and serving them just make it worse. "The expert is not supposed to hurt the feelings of a submitter." Have you ever heard this as general outspoken rule to get on tracks? I don't think so. In a professional environment this makes no sense, because it is out of the question and business.
I looked over my recent comments and did not find anything that seemed objectionable to me - but that's the problem in a nutshell, isn't it?
Go through your recent code reviews and read each of your comments in the snarkiest, meanest tone that you can muster. Out loud. (Probably from home)
If none of your comments sound like they match, when given that tone, then you're probably fine and your coworker was having a bad day.
This is basically a tl; dr from Steverr Robbins' advice. He also has more good advice, but basically it all boils down to be careful what you write, because it can be taken many different ways.
It may be hurtful to your manager, but what he has done was more than useless.
You have wasted your time checking where you might have done something that you find offensive. That waste of time is caused directly by your manager. You worry now how to write your code reviews, which might make your code reviews less useful in the future. That damage is directly caused by your manager.
If he hadn't said anything, things would have been fine. If he had told you what statement exactly was supposed to be hurtful, then you would either have explained to the person in question that this wasn't intended to be hurtful, or you would have explained that it was. Problem would have been fixed.
But due to the manager's stupid action, there was just wasted time with no result. I think that manager should really think about how they are acting. And if the manager takes that as hurtful, they can comment. Anonymously probably.
PS. Reading some comments here, some people seem to think that the complainer should have anonymity. Well, I wouldn't care who the complainer is - but once I know what they are complaining about, I can either clear up any misunderstanding, apologise if I was wrong, or tell them that what I wrote was exactly what I meant and if they find it hurtful that's their problem.
I looked over my recent comments and did not find anything that seemed objectionable to me - but that's the problem in a nutshell, isn't it?
In this case yes, but not always. Ideally, when you looked back over what you'd written you would have found one or more things that on reflection you realise could be hurtful, even though of course you never intended them that way when you wrote them. That's the hope, when bringing something like this to your attention without specifics. But it hasn't worked out that way.
I will assume you're bound to respect the anonymity of the complaint, and hence you cannot be told which specific comment caused hurt. Granted, not all answers here agree with that anonymity, but this is not a criminal trial, or even an internal disciplinary procedure, and so it's up to the employer whether to grant it. I think your best move is to do what you can, and be seen to do what you can, within that system. Don't just say, "I won't improve unless you tell me who has accused me", that makes you look unwilling to improve, with a side-order of suspicion that you intend to be vindictive. It might also appear unpleasantly ironic to your boss, that your response to a criticism that your criticisms are unintentionally hurtful, is to demand to treat that criticism like a criminal accusation!
So assuming you do anything about it at all, I think you have two good options here:
Try not to say anything hurtful in future. You will not achieve the improvement that you would have achieved if your attention was drawn to specific things you do that are hurtful but which even on reflection you aren't able to see are hurtful. But you can go out of your way to be gentle. There's a fair chance this is what your boss expects.
Go back to your boss and say, "I'm sorry, I still can't see what I'm doing wrong here, so I'd really appreciate some help improving. Is there someone who can advise me on the way I write in general, without referencing the particular comment that was complained about? Are there comments other than the one that was complained about, that you can use to illustrate the problem I need to address?". Of course you can also do this without going back to your boss, if you have any kind of mentor, or just pick a colleague you think might be able to see what you can't.
It's also possible that your boss basically disagrees with the complaint, and doesn't expect you to do anything about it, but has to go through the motions. Which is rather unpleasant for you, since you now have a complaint against you and no means to remedy it or defend yourself. So if he thinks he's doing you a favour by letting it slide then he's probably wrong, and he's probably going to see the whole business repeated in future.
Far better, if he disagrees with the complaint, would be for him to go back to the complainer and say, "I'm sorry that you're hurt, but this is entirely in line with the comments that we expect to be given during code review, so we'll help you to respond to them in the spirit they were intended, which was to criticise the line of code on the page and not you. This is the result of the standards we've set for the whole team/company, not anything that aednichols in particular has done wrong, and so please do not hold it against him or conclude that because of what he wrote he must think badly of you". And never tell you that anything happened.
Finally, you can't really "make things right" with the person who was hurt. They seem to have raised the issue under condition of anonymity, and so they do not expect an apology from you. You could perhaps ask your manager to make some statement to them on your behalf, that you intended no hurt and are sorry to have caused it. Since you don't know what you did wrong, this will be very vague and so probably isn't worth doing, but your or your boss might juge that it would help. A statement like that, which your boss vouches for as sincere, might even cause the other party to drop their anonymity so that you can all deal with the issue in full. Long shot but you never know your luck.
To whom? Everyone.
One person did you a favor, and let you know that your feedback was, for some reason, offensive to them. You have an opportunity to make sure your feedback is constructive and positive for everyone. You don't know who else has felt that way also, or may feel that way in the future. Find a voice and style That works for as many people as possible, including yourself.
Your best option in this case is to take the next code review where you have something to say and write up the comments and then run them by your boss to see if he thinks they are offensive. Do this for the next few code reviews, until he stops finding what you write to be offensive, or until he asks you to stop doing it. If the boss doesn't want to take the time, ask a trusted colleague. NOte that if you are angry at how stupidly something was done, it will likely come out in your tone, so be especially careful with any comments you write while you are annoyed or angry.
This accomplishes several things. First that you are taking the criticism seriously and are trying to not be offensive. Next, it shows the boss that your comments are, in general, fair (if they are) or gives him a chance to show you a better way before you offend another person. If the comments need help and you don't see what is wrong, clearing them before submitting is your best way to find that out and to learn how to improve them. If the other person is misinterpreting, then the boss can say that he approved the text of the comment if there is another complaint which will stop a snake who is trying to make you look bad in his tracks.
Take it as a chance to improve the way you communicate your opinions on others' code. Instead of believing that this was intended to reprimand you of your behavior, think of it as a soft prodding that you should be mindful of not just what you say in a code review, but how you say it in a code review.
I know from experience that reviews are meant to be egoless and that we don't single out any one person, but it's still people writing the code. Take the chance to ask your manager or lead how they'd have responded to code you found less favorable, and simply improve from there. Make it a focus point for you to build on as opposed to it being something (potentially) negative.
tl;dr start a conversation in the office, if not about this incident, then about openness and room for feedback.
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Assuming you're asking for help, I see two questions implied in the statement Want to make things right, don't know with whom.
The first question is how do I make things right?, the second one is who is giving me feedback? (although you don't use the word 'I')
For the second question, you don't need to be on internet, rather go back to your office, and start asking the questions there. How would we know :-), we don't work there, right? Things like this should be quickly handled, out in the open and cleared up, because feedback is always about behavior (what you do), never about the person, so it should be no issue to be open and talk about it.
The first question can imply two things: 1. although someone took the effort to give you feedback (giving feedback about negative consequences is usually harder) you don't feel like you are wrong, and want to make it right by explaining that to the person or other people (or here...) 2. you know what you did wrong, you want to find an appropriate excuse and are asking tips for an appropriate excuse (i.e. do you give cake (even though the cake is a lie), do you say sorry, do you explain your intentions when you give code feedback).
If I read your detailed description for the question, you are building a case for option 1.
But to answer your last question what should I do?. I would just take charge and explain you want to learn; engage in the conversation with the person who told you this feedback from someone else, instead of trying to investigate quietly. And that if this person has feedback, it won't hurt you or anyone else, just be open. Position yourself, when you engage in conversation, as open to any feedback, and the person that was not wanting to address you directly will probably feel more safe.
Asides from the other answers such as Vietnhi Phuvan's, which already do a good job of explaining what to do in general, this is specific to a code review:
lastly, was there a facilitator to keep the code review on-track? If so, I would ask the manager to talk with the facilitator and see if they can give you any advice as far as how to perform a code review in the future.
My answer is a bit of a synthesis of ideas present in some earlier answers, and I apologize for plagiarism. The main point of this answer is a comprehensive approach with a waterfall of options.
As a preface, I'm assuming you perform a lot of code reviews.
First of all, request a follow-up meeting with the manager, with the agenda being improving code reviews.
At this meeting:
Indicate that you took the feedback to heart
Specifically state that you went over prior code reviews and honestly were unable to spot a problematic comment, and to improve you are asking guidance from him.
Go through the waterfall of possible requests from you and responses from him, as outlined below
If the manager is not meaningfully helpful (refuses the meeting, or says it's your problem not his, refuses to provide any specifics or even a pattern, refuses to oversee your comments, etc...), then simply stop being a diligent code reviewer.
Don't go above and beyond. Do the bare minimum of work in review to ensure you won't be accused of having lax diligence.
Now, as to what you may want to ask at the meeting (after indicating you both took his feedback to heart AND went to the effort of trying to see where you erred):
Ask if there is a pervasive pattern of a problem of hurtful comments from you, or this was a one-off issue. If there's a pattern, it could be feedback from specific individual (but many cases) or from many people on the team.
If there is a pervasive pattern from multiple people, your manager should be able to, at worst, point out the pattern to you precisely, or at best, point out specific examples of bad comments without worrying about singling any complainant out. Ask him for such pattern/examples.
If there's a pattern but only 1 person of many complains, ask the manager if they agree with complains. If they do, again, he should be able to at least enounciate the pattern even if he doesn't name the person or show specific comment.
If it is a one-off, ask what was so egregious that one comment out of (presumably) hundreds rated an escalation to the manager. Chances are, there are deeper issues here at play and this is just an excuse. May be they want to push you off the team/company and using this as an excuse. May be someone has a beef against you and couldn't find anything more to hang on you. May be someone overreacted, your manager decided to be accommodating to ensure easy life for himself at your expense, and now can't walk things back.
If he refuses to offer the pattern for the first 2 bullet points, or if he refuses to even answer whether there is a pattern, see #2 below and treat #1 as "manager was not cooperative", when you decide whether you should disengage as a reviewer as per above high level advice.
Suggest that going forward, he reviews your comments and flags any that seem "hurtful".
If he agrees, you CYAed any issues (he takes responsibility).
If he disagrees, treat #2 as "manager was not cooperative", when you decide whether you should disengage as a reviewer as per above high level advice.
As an alternative to #2, suggest that another person who's an established code reviewer and whose opinion you truest, review your comments and flag any that seem "hurtful".
The upside is that, again, it's CYA, and moreover, if there are other code reviewers but he can't point out one whose comments are never "hurtful", it's an indication this is about someone disliking you and not about your actual comments.
The downside is, this will be hurtful to your ego, and may ding your reputation a bit.
If he disagrees without a good reason, treat #2 as "manager was not cooperative", when you decide whether you should disengage as a reviewer as per above high level advice.
Ask for independent second opinion. Indicate that you'd like someone whose judgement both you and your manager trust review the comments - probably someone from another team.
That way, the manager has no excuse that he doesn't want personal confrontation when he refuses to show specific comment to you.
P.S. Having said that, there are obvious ways to make code review comments objectively less personal and thus less legitimately hurtful.
I posted one example of a good style of comment to achieve that at the start of the answer.
I'm sure there are TONS of specific guides on how to do that, but I suspect "how do I make my comments less personal and hurtful in the future" is outside the scope of what you're asking - and for that matter, are more ontopic on SDLC than on Workplace.SE
